Re: Custom Jutsu Submission
(Raiton: Perëndi Keseki Una) – Lightning Release: Perëndi's Miraculous Song
Rank: A
Type: Supplementary/Offense
Range: Short - Long
Chakra Cost: 30
Damage Points: N/A (Depends on the technique)
Description: The user will perform one hand seal and release their chakra towards preexisting lightning, specifically lightning that is combined with other elemental techniques or objects that conduct lightning. As the user takes control of the lightning, they will perform a basic hand seal and force the lightning out of the object/technique (metal, earth, water, etc) causing it to jump and re-aim it like a projectile or guide it through hand gestures. A concept very similar to that of Lightning Release: Thunder Dragon Tornado, where how the lightning can jump out the vortex, that concept is taken and expanded in this technique. A kunai with a lightning current conducted on it could be an example of usage, as the user uses the kunai and throws it at the opponent, last second he can have the lightning current jump out and shock the opponent. This can be applied to a much more larger scale as well. Note the size, rank, and damage capabilities depend on the initial current of the first lightning. So back to the kunai example, if charged with nagashi, that would make it A-Rank lightning with a paralyzing capability, with size of similarity to the nagashi. However that is just an example, for lightning combos with other techniques/objects have that same effect. So it depends entirely on the initial lightning current/attack. The lightning, when jumped out can at most move up to mid range in distance, but the initial technique where the current is conducted or being used can be anywhere on the battlefield short to long range. This technique excels highly at stealth like usages. If used on elemental combos, depending on the initial rank of the technique, it will be halved when the lightning is separated, so for example if a lightning/water combo jutsu was S-Rank, when the lightning jumps out, it will be A-Rank lightning now, so on and so fourth, applies only with elemental combo associated with lightning. Lightning has been see as something that can remain dormant for a duration, things like holding the nagashi on a sword, or lightning currents in water sources/techniques. The technique would simply act to take control of the respected lightning in the elemental combo and force it to jump out and attack the opponent, in a deceptive and stealthy mode. Also, how an opponent reacts to the initial lightning elemental combo comes into factor (Time Frame, as well), depending on how the opponent reacts to it at first can depend if the technique can be used safely and in time as well.
Note: Can only be used three times
Note: Can only be taught by Noni
Note: Requires Lightning Mastery
Note: Can not be used with natural lightning (e.g. Kiri)
Note: Can not be used against an enemies lightning technique
Declined: Like Adachi, I really don't see the use of this technique. You use your own lightning, and then re-use it with a second jutsu do make it do the exact same thing? The only thing you somewhat get out of this is that you have a small "element of surprise" but that doesn't make sense as the user will protect from it anyways, considering he noticed the lightning in the initial technique in the first place. This is just an incredibly long description for a jutsu that in reality won't be useful or won't make any sense. If you can't use it on natural lightning, it loses its essence in the first place. Adachi stated that natural lightning is rapidly gone AND is scarce to come by. She didn't mean it was out of the question to actually use it. I suggest you re-think this one through quite some more before resubmitting it, because in its current form, it will just be DNR'd if submitted again.
(Raiton: Perëndi Keseki Una) – Lightning Release: Perëndi's Miraculous Song
Rank: A
Type: Supplementary/Offense
Range: Short - Long
Chakra Cost: 30
Damage Points: N/A (Depends on the technique)
Description: The user will perform one hand seal and release their chakra towards preexisting lightning, specifically lightning that is combined with other elemental techniques or objects that conduct lightning. As the user takes control of the lightning, they will perform a basic hand seal and force the lightning out of the object/technique (metal, earth, water, etc) causing it to jump and re-aim it like a projectile or guide it through hand gestures. A concept very similar to that of Lightning Release: Thunder Dragon Tornado, where how the lightning can jump out the vortex, that concept is taken and expanded in this technique. A kunai with a lightning current conducted on it could be an example of usage, as the user uses the kunai and throws it at the opponent, last second he can have the lightning current jump out and shock the opponent. This can be applied to a much more larger scale as well. Note the size, rank, and damage capabilities depend on the initial current of the first lightning. So back to the kunai example, if charged with nagashi, that would make it A-Rank lightning with a paralyzing capability, with size of similarity to the nagashi. However that is just an example, for lightning combos with other techniques/objects have that same effect. So it depends entirely on the initial lightning current/attack. The lightning, when jumped out can at most move up to mid range in distance, but the initial technique where the current is conducted or being used can be anywhere on the battlefield short to long range.
The jump of the lightning can be directed towards different locations, aimed at different targets as projectiles, this allows the user to attack other enemies, technique, or summons that linger on the battlefield. It can jump over a technique that was meant to attack the initial combo, allowing it to strike the opponent in a continuation of movement (still will be able to react and notice the lightning) This technique excels highly at stealth like usages. If used on elemental combos, depending on the initial rank of the technique, it will be halved when the lightning is separated, so for example if a lightning/water combo jutsu was S-Rank, when the lightning jumps out, it will be A-Rank lightning now, so on and so fourth, applies only with elemental combo associated with lightning. Lightning has been see as something that can remain dormant for a duration, things like holding the nagashi on a sword, or lightning currents in water sources/techniques. The technique would simply act to take control of the respected lightning in the elemental combo and force it to jump out and attack the opponent
or aim for different targets on the field, in a deceptive and stealthy mode. Also, how an opponent reacts to the initial lightning elemental combo comes into factor (Time Frame, as well), depending on how the opponent reacts to it at first can depend if the technique can be used safely and in time as well.
Note: Can only be used three times
Note: Can only be taught by Noni
Note: Requires Lightning Mastery
Note: Can not be used with natural lightning (e.g. Kiri),
because of its scarce and how limited it is to control
Note: Can not be used against an enemies lightning technique
☼ Approved ☼
(Fuuton: Kakure Geiru)- Wind Release: The Hiding Gale
Type: Supplementary/Offense
Rank: A
Range: Short-Long
Chakra Cost: 30 (+10 for every technique used)
Damage Points: 60
Description: The user will gather their wind chakra and release it outward to create a large gust of wind. However, this gust of wind takes on a very similar characteristic to that of Wind Release: Wind Blade. Not only do they appear the same in color and destructive ability (due to its deadly cutting nature), but it retains another similar ability; the wind gust created will be intangible. Now, the main difference is, the user will release the wind gust into certain structures or tool sets, this includes earth-like jutsus(or CE/KG similar) or even metal weapon(s). This happens because of the intangibility of the wind, being able to phase through solid matter objects, however through precise control with chakra, the user will aim the wind gust towards the body of the structure, almost seeming like an infusion of sorts; in reality the wind has just caught up and made contact with the structure, this can be done through the speed of which wind naturally moves allowing it to catch up to other elements in time for the infusion to take place, this method is best used in combining with other projectiles. The initial infuse can be done by blowing the gust of wind into the initial technique (This method is best used in combining with other projectiles) or (for streaming usages only) they create a intangible- almost invisible (because of the similarity of the wind blade)- portal upfront of the user for which they will allow those similar solid structures to pass through and fuse into, or in better terms, the wind will begin to guide at the same direction of which the streaming technique is moving because of its fluid movement that wind has as a property. Now, with the wind infused in the object(s), this prevents certain opponent from being able to detect the wind which is hidden in the structure, however this does not apply to most dojutsu and sensory. The strong offensive use for this technique is its ability of deception and surprise attack, for even if they destroy the initial technique used for the wind to infuse within, it can still bypass and continue to the opponent, however no longer be considered intangible after it bypasses the first attack, because of the "protection" the other technique had for the wind. The size of the gust of wind, is rather medium sized in nature (can cover around a five meter radius), but it can be practically infused with any type of size structure such as Earth Release: Great Stone Golem Technique, however using the Golem as example, it must be used strategically as the Golem is about to attack for the wind does not remain dormant in other colossal like beings or structures, Yin/Yang would be needed. If the technique makes contact with the opponent, it can surely push the opponent back and deliver serious cuts and bruises because of its sharp nature. The user can also use this wind gust and infuse it into more then one object however it would cause more chakra consumption. This technique can only be used on the users own technique, and after the wind is re-released it will no longer be an intangible substance, it will be a regular gust of wind with the same rank and damage output.
Note: Can only be taught by Noni
Note: Can only be used three times
Note: This technique does not work with lightning and wind
Note: Requires one turn cool down before re-use
Note: Can not use wind techniques above S-Rank during the turn used and next turn
Declined: While I really like the basic concept of this, it wouldn't work. Wind being intangible doesn't mean it can simply phase in and out of stuff. If that were the case, it would shift right out of the object it is infused with again. If that weren't the case, you wouldn't be able to infuse it in the first place. You're using the advantages of intangibility but you do not limit it with the disadvantages. Try to limit your technique down, because it's just too strong and unrealistic for the RP at this point.
(Fuuton: Kakure Geiru)- Wind Release: The Hiding Gale
Type: Supplementary/Offense
Rank: A
Range: Short-Long
Chakra Cost: 30 (+10 for every technique used)
Damage Points: 60
Description: The user will gather their wind chakra and release it outward to create a large gust of wind. However, this gust of wind takes on a very similar characteristic to that of Wind Release: Wind Blade. Not only do they appear the same in color and destructive ability (due to its deadly cutting nature), but it retains another similar ability; the wind gust created will be intangible. Now, the main difference is, the user will release the wind gust into certain structures or tool sets, this includes earth-like jutsus(or CE/KG similar) or even metal weapon(s). This happens because of the intangibility of the wind, being able to phase through solid matter objects, however through precise control with chakra, the user will aim the wind gust towards the body of the structure, almost seeming like an infusion of sorts; in reality the wind has just caught up and made contact with the structure, this can be done through the speed of which wind naturally moves allowing it to catch up to other elements in time for the infusion to take place, this method is best used in combining with other projectiles. The initial infuse can be done by blowing the gust of wind into the initial technique (This method is best used in combining with other projectiles) or (for streaming usages only) they create a intangible- almost invisible (because of the similarity of the wind blade)- portal upfront of the user for which they will allow those similar solid structures to pass through and fuse into, or in better terms, the wind will begin to guide at the same direction of which the streaming technique is moving because of its fluid movement that wind has as a property. Now, with the wind infused in the object(s), this prevents certain opponent from being able to detect the wind which is hidden in the structure, however this does not apply to most dojutsu and sensory. The strong offensive use for this technique is its ability of deception and surprise attack, for even if they destroy the initial technique used for the wind to infuse within, it can still bypass and continue to the opponent, however no longer be considered intangible after it bypasses the first attack, because of the "protection" the other technique had for the wind. The size of the gust of wind, is rather medium sized in nature (can cover around a five meter radius), but it can be practically infused with any type of size structure such as Earth Release: Great Stone Golem Technique, however using the Golem as example, it must be used strategically as the Golem is about to attack for the wind does not remain dormant in other colossal like beings or structures, Yin/Yang would be needed. If the technique makes contact with the opponent, it can surely push the opponent back and deliver serious cuts and bruises because of its sharp nature. The user can also use this wind gust and infuse it into more then one object however it would cause more chakra consumption. This technique can only be used on the users own technique, and after the wind is re-released it will no longer be an intangible substance, it will be a regular gust of wind with the same rank and damage output.
When using this technique, depending on the speed of the technique attempting to phase through it, the user can either use a clone/ally/summon and launch the techniques at the same time for them to stay at similar pace (only applicable to water based techs KG and CE alike), this technique can be used right before earth and metal based techniques, because wind is naturally much faster and is able to catch up to these slower moving elements.
Note: Can only be taught by Noni
Note: Can only be used three times
Note: This technique does not work with lightning, wind, and fire
Note: Requires one turn cool down before re-use
Note: Can not use wind techniques above S-Rank during the turn used and next turn
Note: This technique can only be used to supplement and phase, not allowed to be used as an individual attack or defense, unless used along with another technique
☼ Declined ☼
The basic concept of this technique is flawed. The intangibility of the wind blade isn't a unique property to that technique, it is just the basic property of wind not being a solid construct. If the wind blade hit a wall of earth, it would still clash with it. It just can't be blocked in the sense of clashing with another sword.
(Doton: Hotei no Tacchi)- Earth Release: Touch of Budai
Type: Supplementary
Rank: A
Range: Short (Short range contact to inject chakra)
Chakra Cost: N/A (+10 chakra cost to techniques if weight is altered)
Damage Points: N/A
Description: This is one of the advancements of earth release, a corresponding technique with the Added/Light Weight techniques. The user will inject his chakra into an already existing earth technique, or infuse it with a technique that is already being created (an activation based technique). This technique grants its fellow earth-based jutsu the ability, on touch, to freely manipulate the weight of an object. This is done through similar means of how a actual ninja does it, by simply making physical contact and injecting his/her chakra into the objects manipulating the weight towards their own desire. This is essentially the same thing, but with earth-based techniques injecting the chakra instantly on contact, the earth technique is nothing more then a medium to allow for this to happen, the users chakra is what manipulates the weight ultimately. This technique allows for either to manipulate the weight of an object/living being to increase dramatically or decrease exponentially, to achieve similar effects of the Added/Light weight techniques, either to increase the weight of a being, preventing his movement, or decreasing the weight of other earth techniques, making it weaker in damage. Different usages could be, for example, the user can rise a spike that impales the opponent, after done so, using the earth spike as a medium they will inject their chakra into the opponent, freely manipulating his/her weight, however way the user wishes to go about it. This is only an example, but it is fairly unlimited to anything that is logical and bound to the rules of the Added/Light Weight technique, this includes KG/CE earth based, metal objects, living beings, etc. This technique can only increase or decrease the weight of the affected substances up to scale factor of 10x (ten times above or below its weight). The activation of this technique if requested, is instantly, and lasts up to four turns. The reason for its instant activation is because it basically does no harm or effect until an earth object has touched and injected its chakra. When the earth technique is infused, it does not lose any of its physical damage capabilities or defensive stature. It remains with the same effects, the ability is only activated on touch. After the structure has touched and injected its chakra to manipulate the weight, it essentially loses the ability to do it anymore, unless the user, performs this very same technique once again to grant it the same ability.
Note: Can only be used three times
Note: Can only be Taught by Noni
Note: The activation lasts up to four turns
☼ Declined ☼
I see this being easily abused with something like moving earth core. It would be unavoidable in that situation if I'm reading this correctly.
(Katon: Bhasmasur no Dekiai)- Fire Release: Fondness of Bhasmasur
Type: Offense/Supplementary
Rank: S
Range: Short-Long (Created short range, long range maneuverability)
Chakra Cost: 40
Damage Points: N/A (Explosion is 80, individual attacks or capture is 20)
Description: The user will gather their fire chakra, and spew out a dense, corrosive, amount of ash, the ash will then continue to take on the shape of a Humanoid being, with similar length and width as the user. The body is made entirely of dense ash, composed and compacted tightly together to maintain its shape. The humanoid has no facial characteristics nor actual distinguishes to set it apart. His body color is dark red. This being can move by the users control, or set to move as a projectile at a specific target the user has set for it, following the target wherever until he makes contact. This being takes up similar properties of ash, this includes being blazing hot, explosive (if set with a cloud form), and can skin a person alive if he slashes or attack them. Along with just basic attack that this being can perform at the target (punches, kicks, etc), there is a special ability, with the user performing the Tiger hand seal, can cause the being to completely turn into a cloud of ash, from their the user can choose two choices, either allow the cloud to remain and burn the opponent, potentially explode them, or perform one more hand seal (Tiger) and cause the ash to once again compact into a blazing rock of ash, that will trap the opponent, suffocate them, and burn them completely all over the body. The difference between allowing it remain as a cloud, or become a simple rock, is that the cloud is much more capable to explode, while the rock formation can simply be set ablaze burning the target slowly through its ignition, but not completely explode and finish the target off. This also includes the humanoid shaping of the ash, because he is tightly compact, an explosion will not be set powerfully, the humanoid being can at most, attack the opponent through body movements (almost Taijutsu like).
Note: Only lasts for three turns
Note: Can only be used three times
Note: Can only be taught by Noni
☼ Approved ☼
Removed the ability to capture just specific parts of the body.
As a side note, your descriptions can use some work. There's a lot of repetition and clarifications that don't need to be there making them longer than need be. Work on making them a little more concise.