Tired of my mom

[Kushina89]

another self proclaimed adult who thinks being in the 20s make you wise and all knowing about life.. smh
have seen many people like you who blamed their parents for stupid reasons like that, moved out, lived the stupid life they wanted but in the end came back to apologize only because they ****ed it up

she doesn't owe you anything! she gave birth to you, raised you for 23 years and just wants you to make the right decisions..
but yeah **** family, better move out and live like in all those college movies; being drunk, party, *** and fun 24/7 because life works that way... or join the military, they will treat you much better than your own mother and def want only your best!

 

[Drakengard]

Where did he say she takes his cash?

What im saying is counting the money a family member owes is embarassing. She spend 23 years raising you, plus the 9 months in the womb, took care of you, gave you food, bought you everything and he expects her to give him 40k. They spend more than a million on him in those 23 years.

If he is 23 and letting them control him he should man up

I'll wait for the OP to respond since I can't be certain, but I assumed it was from his pay since parents taking from their children is actually a problem in many areas. If you Google the topic you can find quite a lot on the subject. If it really is from his paycheck, then that raises a lot of other problems. Regardless, the OP is asking if he should deal with it and wait for the degree or take more direct action and move out. Is the latter what you mean by manning up? There's a middle ground where he can try to negotiate with his mother, but it's not as concrete of an option as the other 2.

 

[Azarath Metrion Zinthos]

All these complacent and contemptuous opinions are making me sick.

The internet is really not the place to talk about your issues. U_U

 

[Sauce]

Military isn't bad, Its a good opportunity to get a fresh start, I've been in the air force for awhile and its pretty nice

 

[Drakengard]

OP if you are looking for better help it might be easier to PM people willing to give you advice for a more direct conversation

 

[Lyke]

I'll wait for the OP to respond since I can't be certain, but I assumed it was from his pay since parents taking from their children is actually a problem in many areas. If you Google the topic you can find quite a lot on the subject. If it really is from his paycheck, then that raises a lot of other problems. Regardless, the OP is asking if he should deal with it and wait for the degree or take more direct action and move out. Is the latter what you mean by manning up? There's a middle ground where he can try to negotiate with his mother, but it's not as concrete of an option as the other 2.

If the mom is married and lives together with a man and still takes his paycheck, then I can agree with you

But, if he counts every small amount of money he lent her in the past years, he should be ashamed of himself.

As kushina89 said, parents owe you nothing. No matter how much money you lent them, what you do for them, ... in the end, she still raised you for all these years, and endured lots of pain and stress during pregnancy. Taken all those years she raised him into account, technically he owes her an infinite amount, that is, IF his mom would count every dollar just like him.

Plus, leaving home when you are old enough still doesnt mean you cut all your tie to them. Ive seen lots of older women living alone, saying "their kids are busy working and cant take care of them", which is a bullshit excuse. They think just because theyre 18 they dont need to take care of parents.

We dont know OP's complete story, but, these are the 2 possible scenarios

 

[Melanin]

Sometimes I forget you're a girl.

Great advice though.

Androgyny is the way.

 

[Azarath Metrion Zinthos]

OP if you are looking for better help it might be easier to PM people willing to give you advice for a more direct conversation

Thank you. U_U

 

[Sasuke tyeezy]

I don't laugh. They dragged me down with them, this family.

Omg Coup d’etat incoming.

 

[Gintõki1]

The 40K is nothing compared to the amount of money they spent on raising you. Clothes, food, school and etc.. lel

 

[Funky Tiger]

is she hot?

 

[Horus]

is she hot?

Now why would you ask a question like that? I swear sometimes I think some of you members are 8 year olds.
The OP is clearly having a problem and is seeking advice, if you don't have anything proper to say, then don't say anything at all.


OP: While I do agree with what Kushina and Lyke said, your parents owe you nothing. But sometimes, enough is enough and you need to be solo for a while. Which isn't an easy task, I assure you that.
But you'll see what I mean in a couple of years.

 

[Misо]

Age doesn't define wisdom. That's what's wrong with elders now, they believe themselves to be more wise/all-knowing than their lessers.

​

Actually, it does 90% of the time. They've been through exactly what you did, and have learned from their mistakes.

Elders dont have a problem. They are 100% right to be ashamed of this constantly dumbing population.

 

[Sasuke tyeezy]

The 40K is nothing compared to the amount of money they spent on raising you. Clothes, food, school and etc.. lel

40,000+ is a substantial amount for the working man especially one so young. Now we don’t know the specifics of the situation, but if she took it & lead him onto believing it would be returned he has every right to say she owes him.

Another thing if she blatantly steals it without his knowledge then she should return it, also people constantly pointing out that she spent ‘x’ amount of money raising him, that’s what a parent is legally obligated to do, at least until the child is 18(At least in USA, unless you resign all parental rights). Like are you serious?

Anyway because I don’t know every little detail on your situation I don’t feel ingrained enough to give any serious input. I know how it is to be at odds with your mom trust me. However I would keep it off the internet.

 

[Tauren Chieftain]

Pretty sure your mom wants best for you.She is smarter and wiser than you anyway.

And what kind of people you are when you think your own family can owe you money ?

Also you said she is married so I guess not with your real father (otherwise why would you say she is married , you would say she lives with my father ) so I have feeling that is problem too.

 

[Drakengard]

If the mom is married and lives together with a man and still takes his paycheck, then I can agree with you

But, if he counts every small amount of money he lent her in the past years, he should be ashamed of himself.

As kushina89 said, parents owe you nothing. No matter how much money you lent them, what you do for them, ... in the end, she still raised you for all these years, and endured lots of pain and stress during pregnancy. Taken all those years she raised him into account, technically he owes her an infinite amount, that is, IF his mom would count every dollar just like him.

Plus, leaving home when you are old enough still doesnt mean you cut all your tie to them. Ive seen lots of older women living alone, saying "their kids are busy working and cant take care of them", which is a bullshit excuse. They think just because theyre 18 they dont need to take care of parents.

We dont know OP's complete story, but, these are the 2 possible scenarios

I'm inclined to agree, but I don't think he could fork over $40k unless it comes from his wages... if he started lending her money at the age of 16, that's over $100/week, every week. It's true that the money's insignificant compared to the amount needed to raise a child, but it's also something to be expected raising a child. If a random stranger gave me a 1 million dollar check, I don't need to feel entitled to give them any money back since they were the ones giving it to me.

At the age of 23, some parents may feel the need to charge their children rent for staying at their home (also depends where the OP lives culturally). That may be OK... as long as that's the agreement and not just some sort of guilt trip mechanism. At this point in his life, I'm of the opinion that he should be building up a life for himself, and I think that's what he wants too. The best situation would be to come to terms with his mother, I just want to find the best way to reach there while living comfortably, or at least find some alternatives. I do hope he doesn't harbor resentment to those that raised him.

Of all the possibilities he listed, what do you think would be the best for him?

 

[Cohle]

If they don't care about your well being and aren't sensitive towards your emotional health, then you have no reason to stay with them, enduring when they don't intend to correct their flaws does no benefit to either you or your parents, it's an act of being good "by the book" but practically in real world you're perpetuating their unhealthy behavior and sacrificing your mental well being, when there are actually people out there who would value you and need you sane.

If people say, "they're family" as a reason they don't really care about you "Heni" and just wants this issue quickly resolved, when you share your troubles people are socially obliged to provide support, but because they can't usually deny, they'll instead try to convince you the issue is small to reduce their own work.

Remember this bias very very well.

You are completely allowed to hate your family if they've given you a reason to.
I'll fight anyone on that.

 

[Cohle]

another self proclaimed adult who thinks being in the 20s make you wise and all knowing about life.. smh
have seen many people like you who blamed their parents for stupid reasons like that, moved out, lived the stupid life they wanted but in the end came back to apologize only because they ****ed it up

she doesn't owe you anything! she gave birth to you, raised you for 23 years and just wants you to make the right decisions..
but yeah **** family, better move out and live like in all those college movies; being drunk, party, *** and fun 24/7 because life works that way... or join the military, they will treat you much better than your own mother and def want only your best!

Do you want me to list down all the assumptions you made in that post that could be wrong?

 

[Funky Tiger]

Now why would you ask a question like that? I swear sometimes I think some of you members are 8 year olds.
The OP is clearly having a problem and is seeking advice, if you don't have anything proper to say, then don't say anything at all.


OP: While I do agree with what Kushina and Lyke said, your parents owe you nothing. But sometimes, enough is enough and you need to be solo for a while. Which isn't an easy task, I assure you that.
But you'll see what I mean in a couple of years.

as an 8 year old im offended that your kind looks down on us age-deprived people so much. check your year-privelege ffs.

ot: okay alright i admit it, that was a wee bit distasteful

 

[Kushina89]

Do you want me to list down all the assumptions you made in that post that could be wrong?

not sure if just dumb or really serious, but your post is also just an assumption.. like all the other posts in this thread with the every little detail the op has given


the post that are similar to mine are because we have seen alot of these posts on here where people had stupid reasons to hate their parents and/or just lied and told it afterwards
so next time before you wanna act big atleast make sure to not end up as a complete joke with your post