Tired of my mom

[HENI]

My mom owes me a lot. But I won't go into detail. I'm tired of her yelling at me, controlling my life decisions. I'm 23 now. What should I do? I'm living with her at least until I graduate with my associates degree. Should I leave soon? Or after I get my degree? Or should I just get a postal job or join the military?? Help me please!

 

[HashiraMadara]

suck up that snort and stay in the f#cking house cause you are most prolly reacting from brief conflict. Next week you'll be laughing with her.

 

[HENI]

suck up that snort and stay in the f#cking house cause you are most prolly reacting from brief conflict. Next week you'll be laughing with her.

I don't laugh. They dragged me down with them, this family.

 

[FemmeFatale]

Ignore the ignorance above . I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. Perhaps this is her trying to get to go out on your own, showing tough love. I totally understand where you are coming from, I think it's always best to seek independence, but I still want you to try and continue you further education. I know postal work is a pretty rewarding job, with benifits, which should be enough to help you afford you own place, but will be tricky in terms of going to school.

I dont like when people joing the military but I guess it will humble you, and it will help you to realize that the fight with you mother were trivial and she really does love you. And they can work around your schooling.

 

[HENI]

Ignore the ignorance above . I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. Perhaps this is her trying to get to go out on your own, showing tough love. I totally understand where you are coming from, I think it's always best to seek independence, but I still want you to try and continue you further education. I know postal work is a pretty rewarding job, with benifits, which should be enough to help you afford you own place, but will be tricky in terms of going to school.

I dont like when people joing the military but I guess it will humble you, and it will help you to realize that the fight with you mother were trivial and she really does love you. And they can work around your schooling.

Idk what to do.. finish school to work at a bank, or become a mail carrier, or go to the Army or USMC

 

[HENI]

OT just stay with a family member or move into a dorm.

There's no dorms and my family members are in another state

 

[Misо]

Shes probably 2x your age, and more wise... She wouldnt "control" your life without a reason. Do you actually think she purposely tries to make her son feel miserable? Treat her as if tomorrow was her last day on earth.

You probably talk back to her and make the argument worse. Dont blame her. Just ignore her when she yells at you. Maybe in 10 years youll realize she had a point and/or how stupid you were for wishing you could move out.

Unless she beats you, threatens you, and/or does drugs + alcohol while you do all the work, stop acting like a child. Is she a single mother? What does she owe you? Wtf would your OWN MOTHER owe you?

 

[HENI]

Shes probably 2x your age, and more wise... She wouldnt "control" your life without a reason. Do you actually think she purposely tries to make her son feel miserable? Treat her as if tomorrow was her last day on earth.

You probably talk back to her and make the argument worse. Dont blame her. Just ignore her when she yells at you. Maybe in 10 years youll realize she had a point and/or how stupid you were for wishing you could move out.

Unless she beats you, threatens you, and/or does drugs + alcohol while you do all the work, stop acting like a child. Is she a single mother? What does she owe you? Wtf would your OWN MOTHER owe you?

I don't talk back to her. I'm tolerating this for the moment. My sister talks back a lot. I feel like I'm just living the life my mom wants me to have, not the life that I want to have. She's married. Owes me $40,000+

 

[Mori Jin]

Wow you just sound pathetic man. Don't sympathise one bit, you should be ashamed of yourself. Some people don't even have a mother.

 

[Drakengard]

Sucks to hear that OP. Are you able to spend your days out of the house somehow? How hard is it to get a job as a banker?

I don't know your situation personally. It could be that you're overreacting, or it could be that your parents are overstepping their boundaries (the parents are NOT always in the right). As far as your family relations go, why not tackle both possibilities? Try to act like a caring son and actively listen to your parents (when possible), but also have another plan ready if need be. That way, you can feel better knowing that you tried your best.

 

[FemmeFatale]

Idk what to do.. finish school to work at a bank, or become a mail carrier, or go to the Army or USMC

I'll let you in on a little secret.
Mother nag you alot because you are getting older, and more independent. Do you let her in? Like spend time with her or even tell her things about you day. Mothers like to be there for you and what to be included in you like, because just yesterday you where her baby boy in daipers. Watching your child grow up and learn how to take care of himself is hard. You spend 9 month carrying them, 18 years caring for them, then all of a sudden they dont need you. Are you by chance the only child?

 

[Melanin]

Rasta is love!

First off, nobody in this world or lifetime owes you a thing. You need to get over that logic right now because it's only going to impede your success and progression in life. A 23 year old is an adult who's old enough legally drink so it's time to man up and set a plan ASAP. Now I'm saying to make a chocie blindly but you have to get on the ball and out of your mother's home if you can't handle how she reciprocates her energy towards you based on the decisions you're making or she wants you to make. I'm telling you what I know because I come from to very controlling parents who had my life planned for me and I never heard the end of it under the roof even when I was doing the things that I was supposed to do. They wanted me to go to medical school after I majored in Biology and I didn't want to do it so I put on my big girl panties and got out of their house and did my own thing. And now I have a bachelor's degree in social work and I'm doing the things that I want to do based on how I want to do them and I don't have to hear their bickering about my life anymore.

In a nutshell do what's best for you but just understand that while you're living with her and her home there are certain things you have to put up with. Yelling is one of them so I don't know what to tell you perhaps you can get some earphones when she starts screaming it used to work for me.

 

[wanderingcactus]

if they are using you, then go.

but please just don't forget them.

since you didn't go into details, I can only offer advice that you already know the answer and they are cliches.

sorry but you have to leave if they are bringing you down but you also have to understand that you might fail out there so I would say, take the risk

 

[Ves]

Shes probably 2x your age, and more wise...

Age doesn't define wisdom. That's what's wrong with elders now, they believe themselves to be more wise/all-knowing than their lessers.

​

 

[Drakengard]

Wow you just sound pathetic man. Don't sympathise one bit, you should be ashamed of yourself. Some people don't even have a mother.

I don't think this is a fair argument. Consider somebody without a mother like you say, seeking help on their struggles, just to have somebody else reply "Oh, at least you had a dad in your life...". Or just replace that with any "worse" equivalent. Another example: If a deaf person is looking for advice, and somebody else replies "Seriously? At least you're not blind AND deaf...". See what I mean? The list goes on. I think there needs to be context involved.

 

[Lyke]

Lol your mom raised you for 23 years and you say she owes you money. She owes you damn nothing.

You owe her until she dies

 

[Drakengard]

Lol your mom raised you for 23 years and you say she owes you money. She owes you damn nothing.

You owe her until she dies

From what I can understand of the OP, she takes part/all of his paycheck, which might be where he gets the $40,000 figure from.

I'm a bit confused by your post. Are you saying that she should take every penny her son earns until she dies? How much does he owe her, exactly? Can she enslave him until she dies?

 

[Melanin]

Age doesn't define wisdom. That's what's wrong with elders now, they believe themselves to be more wise/all-knowing than their lessers.

​

Word up!

 

[Lyke]

From what I can understand of the OP, she takes part/all of his paycheck, which might be where he gets the $40,000 figure from.

I'm a bit confused by your post. Are you saying that she should take every penny her son earns until she dies? How much does he owe her, exactly? Can she enslave him until she dies?

Where did he say she takes his cash?

What im saying is counting the money a family member owes is embarassing. She spend 23 years raising you, plus the 9 months in the womb, took care of you, gave you food, bought you everything and he expects her to give him 40k. They spend more than a million on him in those 23 years.

If he is 23 and letting them control him he should man up. He should support his mom until she dies, by giving small amounts of money WHEN needed and other things

 

[Azarath Metrion Zinthos]

Rasta is love!

First off, nobody in this world or lifetime owes you a thing. You need to get over that logic right now because it's only going to impede your success and progression in life. A 23 year old is an adult who's old enough legally drink so it's time to man up and set a plan ASAP. Now I'm saying to make a chocie blindly but you have to get on the ball and out of your mother's home if you can't handle how she reciprocates her energy towards you based on the decisions you're making or she wants you to make. I'm telling you what I know because I come from to very controlling parents who had my life planned for me and I never heard the end of it under the roof even when I was doing the things that I was supposed to do. They wanted me to go to medical school after I majored in Biology and I didn't want to do it so I put on my big girl panties and got out of their house and did my own thing. And now I have a bachelor's degree in social work and I'm doing the things that I want to do based on how I want to do them and I don't have to hear their bickering about my life anymore.

In a nutshell do what's best for you but just understand that while you're living with her and her home there are certain things you have to put up with. Yelling is one of them so I don't know what to tell you perhaps you can get some earphones when she starts screaming it used to work for me.

Sometimes I forget you're a girl.

Great advice though.