Storyboard Mission Submission

Skorm

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Players involved: Skorm
Mission Rank: B
Story elements chosen: Investigate the history of a landmark
Date of beginning & date of conclusion: 24/04/2018 - 24/04/2018
Relevant mission links:
Additional information: Alucard needs netflix.

~Mission Failed. You don't really investigate... you read an inscription and excavate an artifact. I'm not saying this isn't interesting, but you picked one storyboard element and really only describe the statue and the artifact itself. The narrative just seems a little shallow where the storyboard element is concerned.
Don't be afraid to pick more storyboard elements. The more you pick, or make up, the more evenly you can spread your story. If you don't want to write solely (or mostly, at least) about investigating history (in whatever form) then you should pick more storyboard elements.

Also, I swear the references about TV and Netflix didn't influence this decision, but I did grit my teeth like Stannis on drugs. Turn that down and you'll have my thoughts and prayers.
 
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Alyx

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Players involved: Myself
Mission Rank: S Rank
Story elements chosen: Establish control over a hostile area (5)
Date of beginning & date of conclusion: 25/4/2018 to 25/4/2018
Relevant mission links:
Additional information:

~Mission Failed. At home; at home; at the store; beating up some thugs behind the store; at home again; then, at the end, some establishing of control in a hostile landmark. If you don't want to spend the majority of your post doing your one selected storyboard element you should add some more. You don't need to slavishly follow the elements, but you do have to structure your structure your narrative around them.
Also, for an S-rank I'd like to see a little more struggle, a little more 'danger.' Imagine what you think a 'typical' Naruto S-rank is like; these aren't issued by Villages, but they still need to be 'S-rank.'
 
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Pyro NB

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Players Involved: Pyro NB
Mission Rank: C
Story elements chosen: Explore a landmark(1), Trail an individual without being detected(2), Investigate the history of a landmark(3)
Date of beginning, Date of conclusion: 25/04/2019 - 25/04/2018
Relevant mission Links:
Additional information: N/A

Mission Passed. Add your Ryo and Kumi to your accounting. Bear in mind, the Ryo is on your bio now, meaning it can be stolen in the Ninja World.
 
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Shinta

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Mission Rank: D-rank
Story elements chosen: Build something for the Clan (1-point)
Date of beginning & date of conclusion: 25/04/2018 Start and Finish
Relevant mission links:
Additional information: N/A

~Mission Passed. You can add your Ryo and Kumi now. Remember your Ryo can be stolen.
 
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Zatanna

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Players involved: UdonPanda
Mission Rank: C
Story elements chosen: Explore an abandoned site
Date of beginning & date of conclusion: 25th April
Relevant mission links:
Additional information:
Claiming landmark.

~Mission Passed. I frowned a little bit at your choice of storyboard element, but in the end I think it fit okay into your narrative. Enjoy the Kumi and Ryo, but remember the latter can be stolen.
 
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Pyro NB

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Players Involved: Pyro NB
Mission Rank: C
Story elements chosen: Destroy a large group or settlement(5), Lend a helping hand in one of your landmarks(1), Build something for the Clan(1)
Date of beginning, Date of conclusion: 26/04/2019 - 26/04/2018
Relevant mission Links:
Additional information: 1st clan mission

~Mission Passed. Lend a helping hand/build something were a bit tangled, but it worked out fine.
 
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Lord of Kaos

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Players involved: Lord of Kaos
Mission Rank: B Rank
Story elements chosen: Collect taxes from those who reside in your landmarks ( D ), Torture a suspect ( B )
Date of beginning & date of conclusion: 04/26/2018 to 04/26/2018
Relevant mission links:
Additional information:

~Mission Passed, but D + B makes C, so that's the compensation you will receive. This mission does not count towards your clan progression since the clan storyboard element was not equal to the mission's rank.
Good mission though... everyone is just so evil.
 
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Zatanna

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Mission Rank: D
Story elements chosen: Build something for the Clan (1), Collect taxes from those who reside in your landmarks (1), Lend a helping hand in one of your landmarks (1)
Date of beginning & date of conclusion: 26th April
Relevant mission links:
Additional information:
1st mission for clan

~Mission Passed. Kumi, Ryo and Clan progression.
 
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Typhon

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Players Involved: Typhon
Mission Rank: B
Story Elements:
  • Explore the History of a Landmark (3)
  • Custom - Uncover Your Own History (1)
Date of Beginning & Date of Conclusion: 4/27/18
Relevant Mission Links:
Additional Information:

Wow dude, mission passed. This is some quality work and exactly why we tried to open this system up as much as possible, so stuff like this could be made. If you want to work this into the lore as an entry just message me.
Your custom storyboard element is accepted, with a small change; I'm calling it a (3) so your mission rank stays as you marked it. Good job.
 
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Pyro NB

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Players Involved: Pyro NB
Mission Rank: C
Story elements chosen: Meet with a major faction representative(4), Negotiate for or speak on behalf of your clan(3), Defend yourself from wild beasts(2)
Date of beginning, Date of conclusion: 27/04/2019 - 27/04/2018
Relevant mission Links:
Additional information: 2nd clan mission

~Mission Failed. Your transition between kicking wolf butt and then negotiations with the chief just didn't really click with me. I think you should have stuck with one or the other and picked elements accordingly.
 
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Howard

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Players involved: Howard
Mission Rank: B
Story elements chosen:
Experiment with very advanced ninjutsu ( 5 )
Lend a helping hand in one of your landmarks ( 1 )
Date of beginning & date of conclusion: 04/28/18
Relevant mission links: [ ]
Additional information: N/A

~Mission Passed. I thought the 'very advanced ninjutsu' storyboard element was a bad pick here, but the mushrooms were a nice twist and it's not the rank of the element that matters in the end, after all, but the mission itself.
However, your clan element isn't B-ranked, i.e. (3), so this doesn't count towards the progression of your Clan.

In the future I would recommend that you make some custom storyboard elements with a medical focus, especially if that's going to be the focus of your story.

Also, ding ding ding! You wind a C-ranked artifact. Those villagers really must have been thankful, or maybe you found it somewhere? Either way, here it is:

(Hanuri Sensō Cheisā Kutsu) – Hangurian War Chaser’s Shoes
Type: Artifact
Rank: C
Range: N/A
Chakra: N/A
Damage: N/A
Description: A pair of worn shoes recovered from the Ruins of Chungsu and sold on the Ninja World Marketplace after being refurbished. These shoes augment the user’s travel speed in the Ninja World, reducing their travel time by 5 minutes. The shoe’s bonus to travel time cannot stack with other items equipped on the user’s person that also reduce travel time in the Ninja World; meaning two pairs of shoes, or an item like it, would not additively reduce the user’s travel time. However, the bonus from the shoes can be stacked with bonuses granted to specific landmarks, like a road or bridge. This bonus can also be stacked with consumable items, like the Runner’s Liquid Courage, to further reduce travel time.

You can choose to keep this one, or relinquish in order to make an up to C-ranked Custom Creation. You can read the rules about those here:
 
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Urda

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Players involved: Solo
Mission Rank: A
Story elements are chosen: DISPERSE A MOB (4)
Date of beginning & date of conclusion: 4/28/18 & 4/28/18
Relevant mission links:
Additional information: My story/mission ties into Pyro NB's story/mission. It would be used as a continuation of future missions.

~Mission Failed. When you go a little higher with the rank and stick with just one storyboard element your narrative should be pretty focused on that one element and I just don't see that focus here.
 
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Skorm

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Players involved: Skorm
Mission Rank: B
Story elements chosen: Set up a secure camp(2), Explore the history of something(3), Stomp out protest and/or dissent(3)
Date of beginning & date of conclusion: 28/04/2018 - 28/04/2018
Relevant mission links:
Additional information: Nope.

~Mission Passed. You know what, this was funny and a good read. Not the 'genre' I expected, but that's not going to count against you.
Oh yeah, if you want to have some actual changes to the LM description you should visit the Landmark Updates thread.
 
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Alyx

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Players involved: Myself
Mission Rank: B Rank
Story elements chosen: Prepare one of the landmarks you own for immediate or future attacks (3)
Put the Clan’s interests first (2)
Date of beginning & date of conclusion: 28/4/2018 to 28/4/2018
Relevant mission links:
Additional information:

~Mission Failed. Hmm, this just didn't feel up to par. I didn't really see you meaningfully put the clan's interests first, in a way that really impacted the story. Don't pick the storyboard elements and then write your story. Write a story that you like to tell and then pick or make the storyboard elements that really encompass that narrative.
 
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Zatanna

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Players involved: UdonPanda
Mission Rank: D
Story elements chosen: Do some moderate meditation to improve focus (1) Build something for the Clan (1)
Date of beginning & date of conclusion: 29th April
Relevant mission links:
Additional information:
Created a bank for clan

~Mission Passed. You take the storyboard elements fairly literally and, well, quite literally split your story into two. You should really just write a story that you like; that feels meaningful, or fun, or exciting, and then pick or create the storyboard elements you want. Don't feel trapped by this system. However, you explored both your storyboard elements very thoroughly and I'll still give this a sunshine sticker, but think about my notes.
 
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Howard

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Players involved: Howard
Mission Rank: C
Story elements chosen:
Custom - Show the people of your landmark the merits of your clan ( 2 )
Solve a problem for a settlement in one of your landmarks ( 2 )
Date of beginning & date of conclusion: 04/29/2018
Relevant mission links: [ ]
Additional information: 1st clan mission

~Mission Passed. You're really getting these people riled up, huh? Nice idea with the storyboard element, and you're absolutely right. We lack some good guys, so I added yours to the list.
 
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Vegeta

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Players involved: Vegeta
Mission Rank: D
Story elements chosen: -Set up camp (1), -Build something for the Clan (1)
Date of beginning & date of conclusion: April 29 2018, Start/Finish
Relevant mission links:
Additional information: n/a

~Mission Passed. Interesting combination, nice result.
 
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Korra.

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Players involved: Korra
Mission Rank: C
Story elements chosen:
-Build something for the Clan
- Set up a secure camp
- Help a friend
Date of beginning & date of conclusion: 4/29/2018
Relevant mission links:
Additional information: Created housing for us, a secret path, got us some food and starting up my lab/shop

~Mission Passed. I like the back and forth you guys have going. Good stuff.
 
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21 Savage

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Players involved : 21 Savage
Mission Rank: S
Story elements chosen : Destroy a community (5)
Establish control over a hostile area (5)
Date of beginning & date of conclusion : 30/04/2018
Relevant mission links :
Additional information : Clan Mission

~Mission Failed. So, yes, you definitely destroy a community and establish control, but this isn't an S-ranked mission. You're just throw three S-ranked fire techniques at helpless civilians, which is fun, yes, but not an S-ranked mission. I like your story, but an S-rank is a great obstacle; a daunting task. This simply wasn't that for you.

If you want some of the changes you've caused (like almost everything being dead, you villain) to be reflected in the LM description you should submit it in the LM update thread :)
Don't feel discouraged by this. Higher-ranked missions are just harder.
 
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Goetia

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Players involved: Goetia
Mission Rank: S
Story elements chosen:

⇒ Win a fight without your ninjutsu (5)

Date of beginning & date of conclusion: 30th April
Relevant mission links: [ ]
Additional information: N/A

~I usually discourage people from choosing only one storyboard element, but you just took the extra time to set up a superb recreation of the Third Crusade. Mission passed and Deus Vult.

Also, you're the lucky winner of an S-ranked artifact, which can be exchanged for the opportunity to have one custom artifact, although it has to be submitted first:

(Hinokioku) – Memory of Fire
Type: Artifact
Rank: S
Range: Short
Chakra: N/A
Damage: N/A (+1 Rank Katon)
Description: A ring traditionally worn on the right ring finger; the ring is a relic from centuries ago during the Hangurian Campaign of Fire, an era that would usher in the great expansionary era of the Freehold. It is fashioned out of an indestructible red stone that augments the user’s fire manipulation skills. All fire techniques of the user’s are strengthened by one rank up to A-Rank. S-Rank and above techniques are augmented by an additional 10 damage. Once every other move the ring can alter the inherent properties of the user’s Fire techniques, granting them ash or gas properties.
 
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