Re: Custom Element's Jutsu
Rank: S
Type: Supplementary/Defense/Attack
Range: Short-Long
Chakra cost: 40 (-10 each turn)
Damage Points: 80
Description: A jutsu which utilizes the earth directly beneath the opponent for it to work. After a quick series of two handseals, the user creates 8 large tentacles made out of highly chakra-infused, glistening Platinum which suddenly burst out of the earth below the opponent. These tentacles then suddenly grab onto the opponents and quickly coil around him, trapping and immobilising him. These tentacles can be created large enough to even immobilise large animal summons such as Gamabunta. If the opponent attempts to break out of the tentacles, it will only tighten its grip. If the user wishes, with an additional handseal, the tentacles return to the depths of the earth.
Note: Can only use 2 times per battle.
Note: No S rank Platinum techniques while this jutsu is active.
Note: The tentacles can only last a maximum of 3 turns.
Note: The additional handseal count as one of the user's jutsus per turn.
~Approved~
Rank: A
Type: Supplementary/Defense
Range: Short-Long
Chakra cost: 30
Damage Points: N/A
Description: The user concentrates chakra in his palms (or feet) and then places them on the ground, creating an extensive underground network of Platinum. Spiky vines/roots of Platinum (up to knee-height, all roots are of different heights and shapes), will appear all over underground, some of which will be sticking out of the ground akin to roots of a tree. This jutsu is primarily used to prevent the opponent from travelling underground because if he does he will get stabbed/pierced by the underground Platinum. These roots of Platinum also have a high affinity for lightning i.e. are capable of attracting lightning jutsus (only up to A-rank). If a lightning jutsu is used in the vicinity of these roots, the lightning is suddenly absorbed/attracted by the roots and discharged into the ground (the lightning is discharged harmlessly) - this includes the lightning jutsus of the user's as well. However, a lightning jutsu with sufficient force is able to destroy these roots.
Note: Can only use 3 times per battle.
Note: Must wait 3 turns to use again.
Note: Can only absorb up to A-rank lightning jutsus.
~Declined~ As stated in the description, it obviously has harming capabilities and thus should include damage points. And I believe I asked you to tone it down, but it seems you did the polar opposite and made it stronger by being able to absorb lightning, and removing the turns it lasts on the field...
New:
(Hakkin: Tenrai Bachi) – Platinum Release: Divine Retribution
Rank: S
Type: Supplementary/Attack/Defense
Range: Short-Long
Chakra cost: 40
Damage Points: 80
Description: The performs three handseals (Dog -> Boar -> Ram) and then stomps the ground causing a giant mass of glistening Platinum, in the shape of a demon-like orge/troll with the same size as Gamahiro, to rise up from the ground. This orge (picture below) is of humanoid form and wields an iron club proportionate to his size. This giant exhibits immense strength and is capable of creating craters with a single punch. This jutsu can act as either an attack or a defense (depending on how the user's uses this jutsu); and can be used for such things such as defending against incoming attacks or lifting the user to a higher position. Due to his huge size and strength, coupled with his composition (Platinum), this giant possesses an ability in which, by using his iron club, can destroy/disperse one fire-based jutsu (any rank) by slamming it onto/against the jutsu with extreme force. However, this can only be done once per battle and, once he does, he will break apart/disintegrate into inanimate chunks of Platinum at the end of that turn (the turn he uses the ability).
Note: Can only use once per battle.
Note: Lasts four turns (unless he uses his ability) and after that, will break apart into inanimate chunks of Platinum.
Note: Unique ability can only be used once per battle, and will result in him getting destroyed at the end of that turn.
Note: No S rank Platinum techniques during the following turn.
The giant however, won't be red but the colour of normal glistening Platinum.
~Declined~ You have no control over iron release so why is this troll wielding an iron club? I believe you are mistaking this technique with a summoning which wouldn't get approved either way. If you want this to get approved you are going to have to drastically decrease the size of the troll and remove the ability of dispersing any ranked fire. Replace it with something more fitting and approvalable.
(Hakkin: Kira-Kujira Akurobachikku) – Platinum Release: Orca Acrobatics
Rank: A
Type: Supplementary/Attack
Range: Short-Long
Chakra cost: 30
Damage Points: 60
Description: The user concentrates chakra into the ground and then stomps the ground causing four masses of glistening Platinum, in the shape of large orcas (or killer whales), to rise from the ground and shoot out towards the target. These ferocious orcas travel/swim towards the opponent at high speed and are capable of jumping/leaping off the ground and into the air; smashing the opponent into the air (force is enough to break bones). These orcas are almost twice the size of Kisame's shark jutsus with sharp teeth that can easily tear flesh from bone.
Note: Can only use 3 times per battle.
~Declined~ What's up with these over sized creations? You're going to have to be a bit more specific in terms of the size of the whales. Kisame has a lot of shark jutsu, for example the S ranked version is quite big and you could be relating it to that. Now, can you imagine that times two in size? I will not be accepting that. You're also going to have to include some more descriptions in terms of how the whales can travel. Can you make them travel from different angles? Do all of them travel in a straight line? Can you control their movements after they have been made? A lot of things are still missing.
(Hakkin: Aporo Soeki) – Platinum Release: Apollo's Plague
Rank: A
Type: Supplementary/Attack
Range: Short-Long
Chakra cost: 30
Damage Points: 60
Description: This jutsu centres around the manipulation of the small traces of Platinum in the human body, soil, water and/or air. The user concentrates a mass of chakra throughout their body as he inhales a large amount of air, creating an abnormally high concentration of Platinum in his mouth (in gaseous state). And by using chakra pressure and fire chakra, the user is able to spit out a liquid/molten form of Platinum at the target in a straight, continuous burst/stream (like “Water Release: Water Horn”). The user is unharmed by the liquid since he lines his throat and mouth with a layer of chakra. This molten form of Platinum serves many purposes; depending upon the concentration of Platinum used and the way in which the user altered the Platinum's toxicity. In general, its toxicity allows this jutsu to function as a pesticide (able to kill plants, mammals, fish, birds, fungus, viruses and microbes). That is, this jutsu has anti-bacterial, anti-fungal, insecticide, planticide and anti-viral properties. The volume of liquid produced from this technique is equivalent to a small pond worth.
Note: Can only use 3 times per battle.
Note: No S-rank Platinum techniques in the same turn.
~Declined do not resubmit~ Your CE submission only includes Solid and Powdered form, not liquid.
By using fire chakra and chakra pressure I am able to manipulate and change the toxicity of Platinum to suit certain purposes. As mentioned in
(Hakkin: Oni Sougishiki) – Platinum Release: Demon Awakening(Hakkin: Oni Sougishiki) – Platinum Release: Demon Awakening
Rank: S
Type: Supplementary/Defense/Attack
Range: Short-Long
Chakra cost: 40 (-10 each turn)
Damage Points: 80
Description: A jutsu which utilizes the earth directly beneath the opponent for it to work. After a quick series of two handseals, the user creates 8 large tentacles made out of highly chakra-infused, glistening Platinum which suddenly burst out of the earth below the opponent. These tentacles then suddenly grab onto the opponents and quickly coil around him, trapping and immobilising him. These tentacles can be created large enough to even immobilise large animal summons such as Gamabunta. If the user wishes, with an additional handseal, the tentacles return to the depths of the earth.
Note: Can only use 2 times per battle.
Note: No S rank Platinum techniques while this jutsu is active.
Note: The tentacles can only last a maximum of 3 turns.
~Declined~ Make the additional hand seal count as one of the user's jutsu per turn. I wouldn't want you immobilizing a target and then drag him into the depths of the earth. This might not be your true intention but it can be misused in the wrong hands.
Rank: S
Type: Supplementary/Defense/Attack
Range: Short-Long
Chakra cost: 40 (-10 each turn)
Damage Points: 80
Description: A jutsu which utilizes the earth directly beneath the opponent for it to work. After a quick series of two handseals, the user creates 8 large tentacles made out of highly chakra-infused, glistening Platinum which suddenly burst out of the earth below the opponent. These tentacles then suddenly grab onto the opponents and quickly coil around him, trapping and immobilising him. These tentacles can be created large enough to even immobilise large animal summons such as Gamabunta. If the opponent attempts to break out of the tentacles, it will only tighten its grip. If the user wishes, with an additional handseal, the tentacles return to the depths of the earth.
Note: Can only use 2 times per battle.
Note: No S rank Platinum techniques while this jutsu is active.
Note: The tentacles can only last a maximum of 3 turns.
Note: The additional handseal count as one of the user's jutsus per turn.
~Approved~
(Hakkin: Chika Hakkin Ami) – Platinum Release: Underground Platinum Network(Hakkin: Chika Hakkin Ami) – Platinum Release: Underground Platinum Network
Rank: S
Type: Supplementary/Attack/Defense
Range: Short-Long
Chakra cost: 40
Damage Points: 80 (-10 to user)
Description: The user concentrates chakra in his palms (or feet) and then places them on the ground, creating an extensive underground network of Platinum. Spiky vines/roots of Platinum will appear all over underground, some of which will be sticking out of the ground akin to roots of a tree. This jutsu is primarily used to prevent the opponent from travelling underground because if he does he will get stabbed/pierced by the underground Platinum. By sending additional chakra through the underground network and performing a handseal, the user can make the spiky vines/roots that are sticking out from the ground to burst out under the opponent and wrap around him, at very high speed, restricting his movement. If the opponent attempts to break out of the vines, it will only tighten its grip, impaling the opponent with spikes.
Note: Usable twice per battle and lasts 5 turns.
Note: Opponent doesn't actually receive any damage unless he tries to break free.
Note: The user takes 10 damage due to mental strain.
~Declined~ I want you to re-work the description and tone it down. Also if the user is receiving damage then this should be classified as a Forbidden rank.
Rank: A
Type: Supplementary/Defense
Range: Short-Long
Chakra cost: 30
Damage Points: N/A
Description: The user concentrates chakra in his palms (or feet) and then places them on the ground, creating an extensive underground network of Platinum. Spiky vines/roots of Platinum (up to knee-height, all roots are of different heights and shapes), will appear all over underground, some of which will be sticking out of the ground akin to roots of a tree. This jutsu is primarily used to prevent the opponent from travelling underground because if he does he will get stabbed/pierced by the underground Platinum. These roots of Platinum also have a high affinity for lightning i.e. are capable of attracting lightning jutsus (only up to A-rank). If a lightning jutsu is used in the vicinity of these roots, the lightning is suddenly absorbed/attracted by the roots and discharged into the ground (the lightning is discharged harmlessly) - this includes the lightning jutsus of the user's as well. However, a lightning jutsu with sufficient force is able to destroy these roots.
Note: Can only use 3 times per battle.
Note: Must wait 3 turns to use again.
Note: Can only absorb up to A-rank lightning jutsus.
~Declined~ As stated in the description, it obviously has harming capabilities and thus should include damage points. And I believe I asked you to tone it down, but it seems you did the polar opposite and made it stronger by being able to absorb lightning, and removing the turns it lasts on the field...
New:
(Hakkin: Tenrai Bachi) – Platinum Release: Divine Retribution
Rank: S
Type: Supplementary/Attack/Defense
Range: Short-Long
Chakra cost: 40
Damage Points: 80
Description: The performs three handseals (Dog -> Boar -> Ram) and then stomps the ground causing a giant mass of glistening Platinum, in the shape of a demon-like orge/troll with the same size as Gamahiro, to rise up from the ground. This orge (picture below) is of humanoid form and wields an iron club proportionate to his size. This giant exhibits immense strength and is capable of creating craters with a single punch. This jutsu can act as either an attack or a defense (depending on how the user's uses this jutsu); and can be used for such things such as defending against incoming attacks or lifting the user to a higher position. Due to his huge size and strength, coupled with his composition (Platinum), this giant possesses an ability in which, by using his iron club, can destroy/disperse one fire-based jutsu (any rank) by slamming it onto/against the jutsu with extreme force. However, this can only be done once per battle and, once he does, he will break apart/disintegrate into inanimate chunks of Platinum at the end of that turn (the turn he uses the ability).
Note: Can only use once per battle.
Note: Lasts four turns (unless he uses his ability) and after that, will break apart into inanimate chunks of Platinum.
Note: Unique ability can only be used once per battle, and will result in him getting destroyed at the end of that turn.
Note: No S rank Platinum techniques during the following turn.
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The giant however, won't be red but the colour of normal glistening Platinum.
(Hakkin: Kira-Kujira Akurobachikku) – Platinum Release: Orca Acrobatics
Rank: A
Type: Supplementary/Attack
Range: Short-Long
Chakra cost: 30
Damage Points: 60
Description: The user concentrates chakra into the ground and then stomps the ground causing four masses of glistening Platinum, in the shape of large orcas (or killer whales), to rise from the ground and shoot out towards the target. These ferocious orcas travel/swim towards the opponent at high speed and are capable of jumping/leaping off the ground and into the air; smashing the opponent into the air (force is enough to break bones). These orcas are almost twice the size of Kisame's shark jutsus with sharp teeth that can easily tear flesh from bone.
Note: Can only use 3 times per battle.
~Declined~ What's up with these over sized creations? You're going to have to be a bit more specific in terms of the size of the whales. Kisame has a lot of shark jutsu, for example the S ranked version is quite big and you could be relating it to that. Now, can you imagine that times two in size? I will not be accepting that. You're also going to have to include some more descriptions in terms of how the whales can travel. Can you make them travel from different angles? Do all of them travel in a straight line? Can you control their movements after they have been made? A lot of things are still missing.
(Hakkin: Aporo Soeki) – Platinum Release: Apollo's Plague
Rank: A
Type: Supplementary/Attack
Range: Short-Long
Chakra cost: 30
Damage Points: 60
Description: This jutsu centres around the manipulation of the small traces of Platinum in the human body, soil, water and/or air. The user concentrates a mass of chakra throughout their body as he inhales a large amount of air, creating an abnormally high concentration of Platinum in his mouth (in gaseous state). And by using chakra pressure and fire chakra, the user is able to spit out a liquid/molten form of Platinum at the target in a straight, continuous burst/stream (like “Water Release: Water Horn”). The user is unharmed by the liquid since he lines his throat and mouth with a layer of chakra. This molten form of Platinum serves many purposes; depending upon the concentration of Platinum used and the way in which the user altered the Platinum's toxicity. In general, its toxicity allows this jutsu to function as a pesticide (able to kill plants, mammals, fish, birds, fungus, viruses and microbes). That is, this jutsu has anti-bacterial, anti-fungal, insecticide, planticide and anti-viral properties. The volume of liquid produced from this technique is equivalent to a small pond worth.
Note: Can only use 3 times per battle.
Note: No S-rank Platinum techniques in the same turn.
~Declined do not resubmit~ Your CE submission only includes Solid and Powdered form, not liquid.
By using fire chakra and chakra pressure I am able to manipulate and change the toxicity of Platinum to suit certain purposes. As mentioned in
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, Platinum is toxic and can cause harm to both living and non-living organisms.
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