The Legendary Sage of Konoha 15

Michael92

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Hmm..seems like an obvious fact that readers of the manga just missed rather than a prediction.U_U JOKE!:p I was just super imposing how logical your prediction about the great toad sage is.;)

Yeah why so?! LOL! That was why the first time I did the edit, I wondered where it went so, I rewrote thinking that my browser was playing tricks on me. It was my eyes playing tricks on me then.xd
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The Agree part is purposefully stated to create special effects on that part.:D:p
Hehe, we'll see:p

Hahaxd:D

o_O:rolleyes:


Because I'm too lazy, someone give me a tip on what they're talking about.
O_O o_O xd Are you referring to me and Nikkou?:p
 

C WET

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so is this the last chapter or not cuz i love this fanfiction other than the naruto with hinata part i'd rather him be with sakura i think they belong together... but anyway.. i love it and would love to read chapter 16 and obviously it can't be the last and you even hint at it not being the last...
 
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Michael92

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so is this the last chapter or not cuz i love this fanfiction other than the naruto with hinata part i'd rather him be with sakura i think they belong together... but anyway.. i love it and would love to read chapter 16 and obviously it can't be the last and you even hint at it not being the last...
Hehe glad you've enjoyed my FF this far, and yeah, there will actually be a sequel to this FF (alongside another chronicle, making it two main work and three chronicles in total), but it will not go on as chapter 16, 17 and so on though. More about that later in my Social Group, be sure to check in at it from time to time (or just subscribe to the different threads). For now I'm on a little break because of work and other stuff.
 

C WET

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Hehe glad you've enjoyed my FF this far, and yeah, there will actually be a sequel to this FF (alongside another chronicle, making it two main work and three chronicles in total), but it will not go on as chapter 16, 17 and so on though. More about that later in my Social Group, be sure to check in at it from time to time (or just subscribe to the different threads). For now I'm on a little break because of work and other stuff.
cool thanks i'll be sure to keep an eye out.
 
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Michael92

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Retrospective Afterthoughts, Part 20:

So, the final chapter of the first main story at last. I'm surprised it took a year for me to finish it all considering how fast I did the first few chapters, but then again it all got more and more serious the further we got and I spent more and more time polishing them and my skills as I went. As I'm reading this one now there's still a few janky dialogue at play here and there and some weird pacing and lack of narration, but overall from the first chapter and with the revisiting I did around the same time of the entire first story and until now, it's already improved a lot and put me on the right path that I eventually ended on. Though I must say the opening act of this one didn't sit right with me. It felt cliche and underwhelming, and I do believe at the time that I had literally no idea how I wanted this battle to go considering how early on in the war the manga still was at the time so I can't be too harsh. Luckily it picks itself up as soon as Sasuke comes into play.

I recall having to come up with a reason for Tobi to get the Hachibi but without killing off Killerbee, and the title of the last chapter was such a tease for something that didn't end up happening. Reading it now and knowing how the manga pulled off the same thing in its version, it feels like my reasoning for how it went down here was a bit underwhelming or straight up impossible, as it was proved later on that a Jinjuriki cannot survive an extraction no matter what, lol. And to top it off, I still killed him off, lol.

The concept of Madara swapping Zetsu bodies to prolong his life was actually a pretty cool idea, and reading it now it kind of reminds me of the whole Sidious swapping to a clone body in Rise of Skywalker.

All in all, it felt like this was one of those chapters that started bland but got better the further we got into it, almost as if it was written in two parts. First part long ago and the second part way later with more recent manga info in mind. The fact that Naruto went from losing it for a second and having Kyuubi chakra emerge, to then being able to summon the Kyuubi itself to fight alongside himself (Guess I predicted The Last Naruto the Movie here, lol) is strange, but oh well.

It's suppose to be the finale, or at least a finale of sorts but it doesn't quite fit the landing. There were a few chapters before this that was better and I think the fact that I took a long break between what seemed like the top until I finished the final few chapters might have put the good pace off a bit, as it didn't feel like it had that same level of quality, hmmm.... Not bad, but not fantastic either...


7/10


Bonus 1:


I once wrote this down when I reread some of the earlier chapters long time ago when I still had planned to revisit my entire story, well, before NB died, and reading this after having reread my first story now it's safe to say that I had everything under control back then whereas now I couldn't point out or notice any of these which is hilarious...

TLSoK Read-through:

Changes that can/should be made for the re-release sometime in the future;

1: Madara = Tobi, not Uchiha Madara.

2: Grammar if necessary.

3: Chapter 14 - Ibiki = Baki. Error in the flashback to how Killerbee was captured - Tobi and the rest leaving with Killerbee when Naruto arrrives, but in the FB, Killerbee is transported to Tobi's dimension.

4: Chapter 15 - The Gedo Mazu statue disappears twice. It should only be once.

5: Chapter 2 of the sequel, Onoki alive when Sasuke and co move back to Konoha, cut that out from the chapter.

Bonus 2:

I also talked for years about releasing a Databook when all was said and done for The Legendary Sage of Konoha Series, something which I had begun early on writing but never finished, since by the time I was done writing my series this place was dead and nobody would care. But for the heck of it, let's just release it here and now. Spoilers and bad grammar might follow...

Databook:

[In the Complete series thread, add bunch off notes regarding character informations, skills, jutsus, age,, appearance, lineage, legacy, family tree, changes and edits - updates, after-thoughts, etc (databook).]

Jiraiya: Similar to the first Hokage Harshirama Senju in appearance, but still takes after his father in a lot of ways. Brown hair, blue eyes (?)... A bit clumsy type of guy whom, much like Naruto, wants to show that he'll do anything to protect his friends, and that he will strive to make a path of his own, even if he's Naruto's son. Does not have the Byakugan, but is well adapt at learning things fast, and really is a genius from the day he's born, becoming a Chunin at 8 and Jonin at 12. As he gets older, he learns to take more responsibilities and becomes more of the leader type than the fighter type. The 7th Hokage of Konoha. Has affinity for Lightning (main), water and earth element. Mix between brain and prowess.

Mito: The daughter of Shikamaru and Temari, has long brown hair, has a cute appearance, but still looks pretty womanly as she ages. More laid-back than Jiraiya and Hiruzen (after her father?), but likes to take charge, keeping the two of them under control. She has the brain of her father and the prowess of her mother. Jiraiya's advisor together with Hiruzen. The brain of the three man squad.

Hiruzen: The son of Sakura and Rock Lee, has short black hair and looks pretty much the same as Lee himself. Skilled in Taijutsu like his father, and has the brute strength and the Medical abilities of his mother. The perfect combination between speed and power. Jiraiya's advisor together with Mito. The speed and power of the three man squad.

Nobunaga: He's an older fellow, and one of Danzo's most loyal Anbu Root members. He helped kidnap Akashi at childbirth, and supervised him when he got older. At the death of Danzo, he together with Ryu, knocked Akashi out and brought him before Kabuto to reasons yet unknown. In his earlier days, he was quite skilled, but with age, he has not been able to stay at his prime. Still knows how to lead, as seen together with Ryu, and still knows how to throw a punch. Age 66.
Nobunaga's more of a calm, determined person than his counterpart Ryu. Wears a katana. Has Wind Element.

Ryu: A younger fellow, around the age of 26. He was Akashi's student in their Anbu Root years at the age of ten, but betrayed him after being convince to do so by Nobunaga. He's the cocky type, believing he's much stronger than he's sensei Nobunaga, and believing that a battle is won purly based on statistics and realistic outcomes. Ryu is more of an energetic, irrational person than his counterpart Nobunaga. Has Water element.

Akashi: The long lost brother of Kakashi. [A lot of information to be told, need to do some research here.] Has a Katana! Akashi is able to turn his transplant sharingan on and off! Same with his byakugan. Fire element, etc. More later.

Keiji: The leader of the two man squad, consisting of Kazuki and himself. He's more aware of his surroundings, and like to have every situation under control and planned out before hand. Even if he loses his temper sometimes, he's normally the ice cold killer type of guy. Has Iron Element in his possession. Does not use any main weapon. Explosion tags, and disappearing without a trace also seems to be his speciality.

Ine and Tokie: The daughters of the 4th Raikage A. Not much is said about them, other than that they supposedly had very good looks.

Miyuki: The daughter of Sasuke and Kurotsuchi. "Black long hair and green eyes. She was a beauty which few could match." Has affinity for wind and fire element.

Minato: The son of Jiraiya and Miyuki and the grandson of Naruto and Sasuke. "Blue eyes, blond spiky hair, and resembling none other then the 6th Hokage himself." The 8th Hokage of Konoha. Has Byakugan and sharingan, and is able to turn them both on and off as he like. Extremely gifted, but more of a energetic person compared to his father at his age.

Mu: The son of Sasuke and Kurotsuchi.

Itachi: The son of Sasuke and Kurotsuchi.

Ebizo: The son of Gaara.

Ami: One of the twin daughters of Hiruzen and Mito.

Aiko: One of the twin daughters of Hiruzen and Mito.

Ritchi:

Yukimura:

Okuni:

Kazuki: The brother of Hidan and the overconfident partner of Keiji. Unlike Keiji, he likes to think that's he's invincible, even if he's not the best fighter, and often acts irrationally. Wears a double-bladed scythe.

Makito: The brother of Sakito. Unlike his brother, Sakito is more of the care-free type of guy, acting on his own merits, not underestimating his enemies. It's not really certain how's the leader among the brothers due to Sakito's instability and Makito's lack of leadership. Wears a blade. Same undead nightmare as Hidan. Fire user.

Sakito: The "lunatic" among the gang. Due to some tragic experience in the past, Sakito is often mentaly unstable and can attack his own allies if it gets bad. The lust for killing is high in this one, and he's the type of guy who's a hard nut to break and has a deadly approach to anything and everyone. A rather big fellow, who moves surprisingly fast. Wears a Golden Sledge Hammer. Earth user.

Sonia: The medical ninja of the group. Her fighting skills can't really compare to the rest of the group, but her will do do what she must is strong, always trying to make the group work together the best they can, and being the one to analyse the situation, making sure they all come out if it alive. Wears an extended silver sai. According to Akashi, Sonia had a brother which was captivated by Kabuto, and the only way to get him back was to work for him. Earth user.

Tobi (the old one): Someone Madara Uzumaki (Tobi) encountered along the road. He never revealed his true identity to him, but refered to himself as being Madara.

Masashi: Tobi's apprentice. Not much is known about the duo, other than that they had similar ideas as Madara Uzumaki.

Saria: Killerbee's daughter.

Sarah: Killerbee's wife.

Jin:

Heihachi:

Asuka:

Naruto (the 2nd):

Sasuke (the 2nd):

Sakura (the 2nd):

Tadakatsu:

Mahoichi:

Noh:

Shingen:

Kenshin:


Neji (the 2nd): Kushina and Ebizo's son.

Tsunade (the 2nd): Kushina and Ebizo's daughter.

Sakumo (the 2nd): Son of Kakashi and Yugao.

Gai (the 2nd): Son of Kakashi and Yugao.

Kakashi (the 2nd): Son of Gai and his wife.

Ikari:

Ibuki:

Bruce:

Akuma:

Jin:

Reiji:

Kaito:

Utakata:

Hanzo:

Maki:

Haku:

Nagashi:

Ikune:

Nakimura:

Raikiru:

Raigo:

Raiba:

Raika:

Raido:

Raigo:

Yoshi:

Inba:

Rei:

Zise:


-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Other notes like family tree and such to be included, possibly revealing other character's children, like Sai and Ino's daughter/boy.
 
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