Players involved: Anbu Kirito
Mission Rank: A
Story elements chosen: (4) - Steal A Large Or Valuable Asset
Date of beginning & date of conclusion: March 3rd, 2019
Relevant mission links: Here
Additional information: Azuma is sent into a desert to "Fetch something from a vault"; even he admits it appears the mission is over ranked. There's no risk of conflict, and everything seems to be going well. When he gets there, he realizes that the thing he's fetching doesn't belong to the person he's fetching it for... and isn't even where he was told it was. Features some problem solving and serves as an introduction to Azuma as a character.
Mission Rank: A
Story elements chosen: (4) - Steal A Large Or Valuable Asset
Date of beginning & date of conclusion: March 3rd, 2019
Relevant mission links: Here
Additional information: Azuma is sent into a desert to "Fetch something from a vault"; even he admits it appears the mission is over ranked. There's no risk of conflict, and everything seems to be going well. When he gets there, he realizes that the thing he's fetching doesn't belong to the person he's fetching it for... and isn't even where he was told it was. Features some problem solving and serves as an introduction to Azuma as a character.
Mission Failed. You write well and tell a decent story but you quickly glance over your objective and focus much too heavily on setting up your objective/narrative instead of actually performing the objective itself. Writing a lot doesn't mean it all counts toward your mission as it's not a word count type of thing, it's more about performing the Storyboard Element adequately and to completion. Your mission was supposed to be all or mostly about how your bio goes onto "steal a large or valuable asset." Instead, you took a large portion of your biography's time to explain who hired it, and what they wanted it to do and how it got lost along the way. I feel like you needed to focus more directly on actually having your bio steal the asset, in this case, you could have made excavation a more daunting task or you could have added some danger into the situation like a rivaling explorer. Think more Indiana Jones and less just going through the motions. Keep in mind, this was close to passing because I could see the work you put into it, you don't write a 1600 word mission without putting in work, I debated it back and forth, and even read it thrice. You just don't put in the right amount of effort on the Storyboard Element for an A rank or a single element mission. I suggest trying out a few B ranks, it'll help you get accustomed to time management.
Checked by @Howard
Checked by @Howard
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