Mate. You're missing the point. The Uchiha cared more about their segregation (Which is arguable since they saw themselves as above others and kept their genes to themselves) than the village because they were willing to start a civil war which would endanger the entire village to other countries. Trying a coup was the wrong way to deal with the issue, and it was extremist. Let's see...Uchiha honor, or the lives of Uchiha, the rest of village put in severe risk...I think swallowing their pride is less harmful than all those deaths they planned to bring.
The names you mentioned were the minority. If a coup was at hand, this means that over half the Uchiha were going to be in on it. As such, they cared more about their little coup than they did about the village.
The third called them comrades, which means they had the respect of many of the villagers who looked UP TO THEM. What kind of comrades plan a coup? Also...Notice the only story of segregation you get from Tobi? We have not seen the leaf's side on things. If anything, how the elders react to this news signifies they felt betrayed by the Uchiha.
The Uchiha didn't give Harishima leadership due to good faith or their pride. They did so because Harishima kicked Madara's ass, and even after he became Hokage that way, Madara still came back later with Kurama. They lost their pride due to DEFEAT, and not by choice.
The civil war issue...Simply by PLANNING a coup in ANY country you get eliminated. Try to map out a terrorist attack on the US, and blog about it with your friends. See if you do not end up in jail for life. The Uchiha HAD to be eliminated for the mere purpose of planning such a thing. Soft Sarutobi might have been able to save them if he got lucky, but Danzo beat him to the punch.
The Uchiha's coup would have led to the death of innocent children on both sides, so you just invalidated everything you said. The coup was not justified. Itachi cannot redeem all those murders by saving all the lives he did by ending Edo, or being sorry. Again, if murder cannot be justified, it cannot be REDEEMED.