Custom Medicine and Poison Submission

Pyro NB

Amegakure
Elite
Joined
Apr 22, 2015
Messages
8,622
Kin
958💸
Kumi
4,627💴
Narutobase check: x
~reworded/edited for the latest update

Name:
(Dokusei) - Virulence
Creator: Pyro NB
Type: Autoimmune and Genotoxic
Description:
Ichor utilizes a combination of several minerals and traces of the Pyro NB's DNA refined with the use of his medical knowledge to increase the white blood cell count within a host. The result is a black liquid that has a higher viscosity than water, being comparable to oil and is also capable of being used in a gas state; also black in color. In both liquid and gas states the poison has no smell but tastes of iron.

Description of Effects:
Once the poison has entered the body it progresses fairly unnoticed by the target(s) as the body breaks down and absorbs the minerals. Followed by the mass production of genetically altered white blood cells that cure the victim(s) of any other harmful infections, toxins, diseases, etc.. Once no other threat to the body is present the white blood cells begin to reject host body as they will recognize it as a foreign entity.

Further description of effects:
Absorbed, Ingested, Injected, or Inhaled in any form:

1) Turn 1, the target(s) own body begins to break down and absorb the poison into their bone marrow increasing the bodies ability to produce white blood cells. Blood is also turned black at this stage as well as the victim's veins begin to bulge and turn black in color. (-10 dmg)

2) Turn 2 5x the normal amount of white blood cells are produced within the body providing the host with the natural ability to fight off infections, toxins, diseases, etc. I.E. If a toxin has 5 turns of effects the host of this poison will naturally target, destroy and cure itself after 1 turn of exposure. If no toxin is present skip to turn 3. (-10 dmg)

3) Turn 3 with no other threats white blood cells begin to target and attack parts of the host body as they are not of the same genetic code and recognizes them as foreign. In the same turn, joints are targeted causing fatigue in the targets arms, legs, and torso. (-5 dmg/+10 fatigue)

Lingering) Every turn after the third step the infected take -5 dmg and +10 fatigue to all body parts until cured.
Notes:
~ Can only be used by Pyro NB and those he gives samples to
~ Pyro NB bios can reabsorb poison into their bodies curing victims if need be
~ Pyro NB bios are immune to both negative/positive aspects of the infection due to it being their own White Blood Cells

Declined: How is it more viscous than water if it moves like oil? An example of a substance much more viscous than water would be something like tar. Another thing, what do you mean by +10 fatigue to all body parts? Fatigue isn't anything quantified in our RP, so as it is now this poison's effects are essentially just cosmetic. You should add more defined status effects, look at some of the approved poisons for help. - Vex
Name: (4-Ri no kishu) - 4 Horsemen
Creator:
Pyro NB
Type: Autoimmune and Genotoxic
Description:
Ichor utilizes a combination of several minerals and traces of the Pyro NB's DNA refined with the use of his medical knowledge to increase the white blood cell count within a host. The result is a black liquid that has a lower density than water, being comparable to oil in a sense that it will sit atop of or play on equal terms to water-based elements if used in jutsu form. It's also capable of being used in a gas state; also black in color. In both liquid and gas states the poison has no smell but tastes of iron.

Description of Effects:
Once the poison has entered the body it progresses fairly unnoticed by the target(s) as the body breaks down and absorbs the minerals. Followed by the mass production of genetically altered white blood cells that cure the victim(s) of any other harmful infections, toxins, diseases, etc.. Once no other threat to the body is present the white blood cells begin to reject host body as they will recognize it as a foreign entity.

Further description of effects:
Absorbed, Ingested, Injected, or Inhaled in any form:

1) Turn 1, the target(s) own body begins to break down and absorb the poison into their bone marrow increasing the bodies ability to produce white blood cells. Blood is also turned black at this stage as well as the victim's veins begin to bulge and turn black in color. (-10 dmg)

2) Turn 2 5x the normal amount of white blood cells are produced within the body providing the host with the natural ability to fight off infections, toxins, diseases, etc. I.E. If a poison has 5 turns of effects the host of this poison will naturally target, destroy and cure itself after 1 turn of exposure. If a poison is lingering the host is cured after 1 turn of infection. If no toxin is present skip to turn 3. (-10 dmg)

3) Turn 3 with no other threats white blood cells begin to target and attack parts of the host body as they are not of the same genetic code and recognizes them as foreign. In the same turn, joints are targeted causing fatigue in the targets arms, legs, and torso. (-5 dmg/+20% fatigue)

Lingering) Every turn after the third step the infected take -5 dmg and +20% fatigue to all body parts until cured.
Notes:
~ Can only be used by Pyro NB and those he gives samples to
~ Pyro NB bios can reabsorb poison into their bodies curing victims if need be
~ Pyro NB bios are immune to both negative/positive aspects of the infection due to it being their own White Blood Cells

Link to Fatigue Drawbacks: x

♞ Declined. Its better, but like Howard said, make it more clear in terms of what you mean with fatigue. -5 damage doesn't really come across as fatigue, and needs to be outlined better. In my opinion, it would be good if it had something to make the opponent realize they have been affected. I know its supposed to go unnoticed, but just for the sake of the opponent not directly god modding to realize it would be good. ♞

- Checked by Detective L.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

LGeezy

Active member
Legendary
Joined
Sep 10, 2008
Messages
16,232
Kin
2,150💸
Kumi
4,078💴
Status
(Senzu Mame) Hermit Bean
Creator:
LGeezy
Type: Healing
Description and Background: The Hermit Bean, also known as a Senzu Bean are mystical beans with immense rejuvenation properties. Senzu Beans are grown by a wise medical sage master named Korin in Korin Tower to the far wast, across the known world. The plant takes months to grow even a single bean and is infused with natural energy every step of the way. When eaten, the consumer's physical health is restored to their fullest; the effects are almost instantaneous for the recipient, making these beans a great asset both in and out of battle. Their texture is said to be a cross between an uncooked (or under ripe) bean and a celery stalk, and it's even known that Senzu Beans taste like fish. When eaten the user's flesh bulges as blood and chakra are forcibly pumped into the muscles. The latent natural energy completely invigorates the user's body, as they are healed via a combination of their bodies' natural healing ability and the natural energy amplifying this process several folds. These beans, however, can only heal physical ailments and not mental damage.
Description of Side Effects:
-After eating a Senzu Bean, the user's health will restore back to full health, however, this healing will cause the user's chakra to plummet. Spending three times the amount of health healed.
-A user can only eat a single bean and can only give out a max of three beans per battle/event.
-Eating a bean costs a move per use.

Declined. This clashes with my own Weapon X medicine which uses natural energy to overcharge the immune system returning the consumer to full health. I'd suggest using an autonomous process with effects like the Mystic Palm technique to achieve the same outcome instigated by the consumption of the bean/medicine having it infuse the entire body with healing natured chakra stored within it.

Checked by @Howard
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Lord of Kaos

Supreme
Joined
Apr 7, 2009
Messages
27,998
Kin
397💸
Kumi
63,657💴
New Cycle: 03/12/2018 - 03/19/2019

RULES
1.
Submit your Customs only once they've been finalized. The staff will routinely check submissions throughout the cycle.
2. Submissions must be one post per cycle, thus however many Customs you want checked need to be included promptly.
3. Submissions mustn't be edited after being checked by a mod - they'll become invalid and thus declined.
4. Submissions may be declined, at moderator discretion, if a technique is overly lengthy for no reason.
5. Submissions from prior cycles that haven't been checked will be checked soon, please have patience.
6. In regards to your new rankings, be mindful of what you can and can't submit.


The new cycle commences with this post, and concludes precisely one week from the given time-stamp. Sorry for the delay. Anyone that that resubmits a declined custom without making any changes will receive a ban from this thread.
 

LGeezy

Active member
Legendary
Joined
Sep 10, 2008
Messages
16,232
Kin
2,150💸
Kumi
4,078💴
Status
(Senzu Mame) Hermit Bean
Creator:
LGeezy
Type: Healing
Description and Background: The Hermit Bean, also known as a Senzu Bean are mystical beans with immense rejuvenation properties. Senzu Beans are grown by a wise medical sage master named Korin in Korin Tower to the far wast, across the known world. The plant takes months to grow even a single bean and is infused with natural energy every step of the way. When eaten, the consumer's physical health is restored to their fullest; the effects are almost instantaneous for the recipient, making these beans a great asset both in and out of battle. Their texture is said to be a cross between an uncooked (or under ripe) bean and a celery stalk, and it's even known that Senzu Beans taste like fish. When eaten the user's flesh bulges as blood and chakra are forcibly pumped into the muscles. The latent natural energy completely invigorates the user's body, as they are healed via a combination of their bodies' natural healing ability and the natural energy amplifying this process several folds. These beans, however, can only heal physical ailments and not mental damage.
Description of Side Effects:
-After eating a Senzu Bean, the user's health will restore back to full health, however, this healing will cause the user's chakra to plummet. Spending three times the amount of health healed.
-A user can only eat a single bean and can only give out a max of three beans per battle/event.
-Eating a bean costs a move per use.

Declined. This clashes with my own Weapon X medicine which uses natural energy to overcharge the immune system returning the consumer to full health. I'd suggest using an autonomous process with effects like the Mystic Palm technique to achieve the same outcome instigated by the consumption of the bean/medicine having it infuse the entire body with healing natured chakra stored within it.

Checked by @Howard
(Senzu Mame) Hermit Bean
Creator:
LGeezy
Type: Healing
Description and Background: The Hermit Bean, also known as a Senzu Bean are mystical beans with immense rejuvenation properties. Senzu Beans are grown by a wise medical sage master named Korin in Korin Tower to the far wast, across the known world. The plant takes months to grow even a single bean as it is cultivated and infused with Medical chakra used for the Mystical Palm Technique every step of the way. When eaten, the consumer's physical health is restored to their fullest; the effects are almost instantaneous for the recipient, making these beans a great asset both in and out of battle. Their texture is said to be a cross between an uncooked (or under ripe) bean and a celery stalk, and it's even known that Senzu Beans taste like fish. When eaten the user's flesh bulges as blood and chakra are forcibly pumped into the muscles. The latent medical chakra completely invigorates the user's body as they are healed via a combination of their bodies' natural healing ability and the medical chakra amplifying this process several folds. These beans, however, can only heal physical ailments and not mental damage. Like the technique it's based on the Senzu Bean is unable to regrow missing body parts or remove poisons, or toxins from the body. However, it is able to heal the damage associated with these ailments such as closing the wound associated with a missing appendage or healing damage dealt to the body through the application of poison.
Description of Side Effects:
-After eating a Senzu Bean, the user's health will restore back to full health, however, this healing will cause the user's chakra to plummet. Spending three times the amount of health healed. Additionally, they are unable to use any Medical Ninjutsu for three turns following consumption this includes other types of medicine.
-A user can only eat a single bean and can only give out a max of two beans per battle/event.
-Eating a bean costs a move per use.

Approved. Edits are in mauve. I defined the limits of the healing, added an additional restriction and bumped down the usage for allies.

Checked by @Howard
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Lord of Kaos

Supreme
Joined
Apr 7, 2009
Messages
27,998
Kin
397💸
Kumi
63,657💴
New Cycle: 04/06/2018 - 04/13/2019

RULES
1.
Submit your Customs only once they've been finalized. The staff will routinely check submissions throughout the cycle.
2. Submissions must be one post per cycle, thus however many Customs you want checked need to be included promptly.
3. Submissions mustn't be edited after being checked by a mod - they'll become invalid and thus declined.
4. Submissions may be declined, at moderator discretion, if a technique is overly lengthy for no reason.
5. Submissions from prior cycles that haven't been checked will be checked soon, please have patience.
6. In regards to your new rankings, be mindful of what you can and can't submit.


The new cycle commences with this post, and concludes precisely one week from the given time-stamp. Sorry for the delay. Anyone that that resubmits a declined custom without making any changes will receive a ban from this thread.
 

Korra.

Sage of Snakes
Supreme
Joined
Apr 25, 2011
Messages
22,343
Kin
513💸
Kumi
8,543💴
Shūmatsu Uirusu - Doomsday Virus
Creator: Korra
Type: Medicine/Supplementary
Description and Background: The Doomsday Virus is a special viral spore medicine created by Korra in help with DNA acquired from Jugo's/Sado's clan. (Got from here it) This medicine helps heals the user and pushes their body to the limits by using the DNA it acquired to heal from major damage and injuries and replace any limbs the user might loose also. The medicine also temporary inhances the user's body causing the body to grow to triple the size of their body as well as their muscles being increased. The user also gains spikes around their body that they can control and use to stab opponents. While the medicine last the user can regrow body parts similar to Jugo's clan as well as have a more dense and stronger skin due to this their taijutsu will get a +20 damage as well be resistant to B rank and below jutsus. The user is also able to release a poisonous gas from their mouth. While having body parts regrow when the user reverts back to their normal self the missing part will be replaced and fully healed.
Description of Side Effects: [/B]
- Due to the nature of this pill, the pill can only be used 3 times per event and can only be given out twice per event
- During the first pill, the user will have to spend an additional +10 chakra to all their moves
- After using a second pill, the user's speed will drop 2 levels after expiration as well as an additional +20 chakra to jutsus
- Upon using a third pill/patch/injection in a conflict the addition cost after expiry rises to +30 which last for 3 turns while the user will start to feel numbness, and become paralyzed for two turns.


User looks like
You must be registered for see images

Note: It won't let me link the specific post from Page 2 of Taki or even old pages come up on the search feature for that thread

♞ Alright. I haven't checked customs in a while, so allow me. Yeah, this needs to be toned down quite a bit. First of all, try and rather get straight what you are trying to achieve. Is it regrowing lost limbs? Releasing poison from your mouth or simply to grow appendages from your body? Its a bit all over. Restructure it and make it clear. ♞

-Checked by Detective L
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Korra.

Sage of Snakes
Supreme
Joined
Apr 25, 2011
Messages
22,343
Kin
513💸
Kumi
8,543💴
Shūmatsu Uirusu - Doomsday Virus
Creator: Korra
Type: Medicine/Supplementary
Description and Background: The Doomsday Virus is a special viral spore medicine created by Korra in help with DNA acquired from Jugo's/Sado's clan. (Got from here it) This medicine helps heals the user and pushes their body to the limits by using the DNA it acquired to heal from major damage and injuries and replace any limbs the user might loose also. The medicine also temporary inhances the user's body causing the body to grow to triple the size of their body as well as their muscles being increased. The user also gains spikes around their body that they can control and use to stab opponents. While the medicine last the user can regrow body parts similar to Jugo's clan as well as have a more dense and stronger skin due to this their taijutsu will get a +20 damage as well be resistant to B rank and below jutsus. The user is also able to release a poisonous gas from their mouth. While having body parts regrow when the user reverts back to their normal self the missing part will be replaced and fully healed.
Description of Side Effects: [/B]
- Due to the nature of this pill, the pill can only be used 3 times per event and can only be given out twice per event
- During the first pill, the user will have to spend an additional +10 chakra to all their moves
- After using a second pill, the user's speed will drop 2 levels after expiration as well as an additional +20 chakra to jutsus
- Upon using a third pill/patch/injection in a conflict the addition cost after expiry rises to +30 which last for 3 turns while the user will start to feel numbness, and become paralyzed for two turns.


User looks like
You must be registered for see images

Note: It won't let me link the specific post from Page 2 of Taki or even old pages come up on the search feature for that thread

♞ Alright. I haven't checked customs in a while, so allow me. Yeah, this needs to be toned down quite a bit. First of all, try and rather get straight what you are trying to achieve. Is it regrowing lost limbs? Releasing poison from your mouth or simply to grow appendages from your body? Its a bit all over. Restructure it and make it clear. ♞

-Checked by Detective L
Took out the poison part
Shūmatsu Uirusu - Doomsday Virus
Creator: Korra
Type: Medicine/Supplementary
Description and Background: The Doomsday Virus is a special viral spore medicine created by Korra in help with DNA acquired from Jugo's/Sado's clan. (Got from here it) The medicine purpose is not only regrow lost limbs and heal any heavy damage but also transform the user's body into tank like while they are healed and give the user user protection. This is done by using the DNA accquired to mimic Jugo's clan's abilities but changing it to focus more on the healing and tanking like abilities. This medicine helps heals the user and pushes their body to the limits by using the DNA it acquired to heal from major damage and injuries and replace any limbs the user might loose also. The medicine also temporary inhances the user's body causing the body to grow to triple the size of their body as well as their muscles being increased. The user also gains spikes around their body that they can control and use to stab opponents. While the medicine last the user can regrow body parts similar to Jugo's clan as well as have a more dense and stronger skin due to this their taijutsu will get a +20 damage as well be resistant to B rank and below jutsus. While having body parts regrow when the user reverts back to their normal self the missing part will be replaced and fully healed. The medicine effects last for four turns with each use.
Description of Side Effects: [/B]
- Due to the nature of this pill, the pill can only be used 3 times per event and can only be given out twice per event
- During the first pill, the user will have to spend an additional +10 chakra to all their moves
- After using a second pill, the user's speed will drop 2 levels after expiration as well as an additional +20 chakra to jutsus
- Upon using a third pill/patch/injection in a conflict the addition cost after expiry rises to +30 which last for 3 turns while the user will start to feel numbness, and become paralyzed for two turns.


User looks like
You must be registered for see images

Note: It won't let me link the specific post from Page 2 of Taki or even old pages come up on the search feature for that thread

♞ Declined. This won’t be to heal “any damage” set a threshold. Secondly, tone down the amount of times this can be used and how long it lasts. A tank only to physical based elements and Tai would be a good compromise, not going to allow B rank tank against all attacks. Make it clear. ♞

-Checked by Detective L
 
Last edited by a moderator:

-Broly-

Active member
Legendary
Joined
Jan 27, 2012
Messages
12,822
Kin
474💸
Kumi
3,443💴
Status
Awards
Name Of Poison: Curse of The Pit
Creator: -Broly-
Type: Supplementary/Poison
Ingredients and Background: The lingering Poison, Curse of the Pit, while beneficial to the user, is actually a virus that attacks the opponents chakra system and use of certain actions in an opponent's chakra. It's effects and transfer are achieved with the addition of extremely minuscule but powerful kanji bearing Advanced Fuinjutsu seals. These seals are triggered whenever the user's chakra is being absorbed, sealed or erased in some way. The seal will lock onto the medium used to do this as well as the opponent's chakra, and transfer the virus onto these things. This virus was created by Red Hood and is able to first "infect" the user via the ingestion of a pill that the user may hide in false teeth as easily breakable caps.
Description of Effects:
This virus will seal the opponent's ability to use the same medium or ability to absorb/seal/erase/transport the users chakra for the length of its activity within the opponent. This strength functions with the strength of an S rank seal. Each successive use of a different ability or medium to do this action will be sealed from use after it is used.

After 2 Turns of exposure to the Virus, it will begin to limit the potential of the opponents chakra, and seal off their ability to use more than 1 boosting technique.

This may be counteracted by healing techniques greater than the strength of the sealing effect.

Curse of The Pit can remain dormant in the user's body indefinitely, but when active in the opponent, its effect lasts 6 turns. The dormant Virus robs the user of 20 chakra per turn from their main chakra pool.

Declined.
1. You need both Medical Ninjutsu and Poison Release to create a custom poison. Only resubmit when you have both.
2. The poison needs a definitive state of matter, liquid or gas, or needs to mention it can come in both forms.
3. You need to better explain how the sealing works alongside the poison. You state that the "seal will lock onto the medium used to do this as well as the opponent's chakra, and transfer the virus onto these things" how does this seal the use of the ability? Are you directly attacking the chakra system, and sealing away the chakra used for stealing or sealing techniques? That's what it seems like because you mentioned earlier that it is "a virus that attacks the opponent's chakra system." It needs better defined and explained. How would it seal away a custom Technology's ability to steal chakra. It doesn't seem like it would. It obviously wouldn't work on something like Aburame bugs as they're immune to poison, what about others who are immune? So you need to also better define who this effects, what it effects, meaning the method of attack, and how it effects them.
4. The effects read like a basic poison, not a lingering one. The difference between the two is that the effects of a lingering poison can last until cured, a basic poison has a time limit. You've currently mashed the two together, a bit to try and get the best of both but the effects only last 6 turns making it a basic poison. Poison as a physical substance can remain on your tools, weapons, or body, as well as the field permanently, it's the time-limit of the effects that determines if it is a lingering or basic poison.
5. "This may be counteracted by healing techniques greater than the strength of the sealing effect." There's no reason for this poison to have the strength of an S rank seal, that would need to be an actual Poison/Sealing technique in and of itself if you want it to be that strong. The custom poison would need to be curable, with the same methods as any other custom poison.

Checked by
@Howard
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Delta

Legendary
Joined
Jul 4, 2012
Messages
11,672
Kin
2,540💸
Kumi
2,627💴
Name Of Medicine: True Beast Pill
Creator: Delta
Type: Supplementary
Description and Background: The True Beast pill is a small food pill, created by blending various herbs and plants together, specifically focusing on herbs and plants that benefit animals, not humans. This pill is meant to enhance a summonings abilities, not the user itself, by amping them up with a blend of herbs in the form of a small pill. The objective of this pill is to send the summoning into a partial rampage, amping up their chakra system and enhancing their abilities for a short period of time.
Description of Side Effects:
True Beast pill is meant to be ingested by a users Summoning. When ingested, the pill massively amps up the summons abilities, while also decreasing their summon time. When ingested, the Summoning gains +1 rank to their elements, and can use all jutsu of that element without handseals. In the event the Summon can already use S rank ninjutsu, their S ranks instead gain +20 damage and require no handseals.
After ingesting the pill, the summons duration is cut in half, only lasting half the amount of time as usual.
In the event that the Summon is a Personal Summon, the pill, instead of cutting their duration, merely wears off after 3 turns. After it wears off, the Personal summon suffers a debuff, losing +1 rank to all their ninjutsu for two turns. If used a second time, They suffer the same debuff for three turns. A third time, they lose access to all Ninjutsu after the pill wears off for four turns. After a third time no more pills can be ingested.
 
Top