[Debate] Would You Spank Your Child?
- Thread starter Luther
- Start date
naruto fan 2
Member
I have never, nor will I ever spank my child. I find that positive and negative reinforcement along with teaching discipline and respect work better than threatening physical harm. I grew up with parents and grandparents that were "old school" in the sense of spanking was appropriate but as far as my parenting style, it's just not for me.
what is this spank, il kick their ass 
.lol
Gyakusetsu
Active member
You have to be careful on where to apply it. Ideally, there are other methods that help the child understand and reason out why they should avoid certain behaviors. That reasoning benefits them throughout their lives. Spanking too often can cause issues with lying and compliance only to avoid further punishment, hiding issues and hurts their development. However, sometimes you don't have the luxury of ensuring full understanding and even if spanking is really only enforcing a behavior of avoidance, that's fine. In other words, for some behaviors there is no second chance and abstact concepts such as human mortality make little sense to a 4 year old, so if they avoid a potentially life threatening behavior only because they think they will get their bottom swatted, I am fine with that.
My parents spanked me and I still love my parents. My Dad and Mom's parents spanked them and they still love them. Relationships are only tarnished if you do some crazy shit. 10 smacks on the ass when I do something wrong isn't going to make me hate my parents Lol
It really depends upon the child as to how effective something like spanking will be.
That said, I do not see a problem with it.
Although, once again, my father never once failed to explain to me why I was being spanked. I was very rarely spanked 'on the spot' as a reaction to something I was doing - along with my brothers. My mother was very quick to backhand us for disrespectful remarks or statements - but that was about as 'brutal' as it got.
My parents would always give me the opportunity to admit I had done something wrong, question me to make sure I understood why it was wrong, and then administer a punishment that was unavoidable.
For me - spanking worked.
For my younger brother, it also worked.
For my youngest brother - you could have beaten that kid through a wall and he would have looked at you like: "What? Is that all? Just wait until I'm your size."
However - if you made him stick his nose in the corner for even one full minute - he would break down into tears. He absolutely hated not being allowed to be a part of the group.
Me? I didn't care. I'm one of the brooding types. Stick me in the corner and that pretty much becomes a designated time to plot revenge or figure out how to not get caught the next time.
For me - it was the idea that my parents were upset enough with me to cause me pain that made me more considerate of what they had to say about what I did (which was explain to me why what I did was wrong).
For my brother - it was the idea that my parents were so upset with him that they didn't want to see or hear of him for any length of time that seemed to get him to do the same.
Discipline is not a one-size-fits-all ordeal. If my parents would have stuck me into the corner every time something happened - I can guarantee you I would be in jail right now, because it would have reinforced that brooding behavior and shifted my perception of the world toward myself and my own perception of events. It was the spanking that interrupted that brooding behavior and forced me to recognize that there were consequences in life that were unavoidable and that other people could very well exact tolls upon me for my own decisions.
Sending me to the corner was not what I perceived to be a real consequence, just as spanking my brother wasn't perceived by him to be a real consequence (likely because he had two older brothers he was growing up with - getting hit was hardly something to give a second thought to).
That said, I do not see a problem with it.
Although, once again, my father never once failed to explain to me why I was being spanked. I was very rarely spanked 'on the spot' as a reaction to something I was doing - along with my brothers. My mother was very quick to backhand us for disrespectful remarks or statements - but that was about as 'brutal' as it got.
My parents would always give me the opportunity to admit I had done something wrong, question me to make sure I understood why it was wrong, and then administer a punishment that was unavoidable.
For me - spanking worked.
For my younger brother, it also worked.
For my youngest brother - you could have beaten that kid through a wall and he would have looked at you like: "What? Is that all? Just wait until I'm your size."
However - if you made him stick his nose in the corner for even one full minute - he would break down into tears. He absolutely hated not being allowed to be a part of the group.
Me? I didn't care. I'm one of the brooding types. Stick me in the corner and that pretty much becomes a designated time to plot revenge or figure out how to not get caught the next time.
For me - it was the idea that my parents were upset enough with me to cause me pain that made me more considerate of what they had to say about what I did (which was explain to me why what I did was wrong).
For my brother - it was the idea that my parents were so upset with him that they didn't want to see or hear of him for any length of time that seemed to get him to do the same.
Discipline is not a one-size-fits-all ordeal. If my parents would have stuck me into the corner every time something happened - I can guarantee you I would be in jail right now, because it would have reinforced that brooding behavior and shifted my perception of the world toward myself and my own perception of events. It was the spanking that interrupted that brooding behavior and forced me to recognize that there were consequences in life that were unavoidable and that other people could very well exact tolls upon me for my own decisions.
Sending me to the corner was not what I perceived to be a real consequence, just as spanking my brother wasn't perceived by him to be a real consequence (likely because he had two older brothers he was growing up with - getting hit was hardly something to give a second thought to).
CornyRainbow
Active member
Uh, I don't think I will because if my kids do something bad I don't want them to fear that I will do something to harm them.
When I was kid, I use to scared to death of doing anything wrong because I was always thought my mom or dad would beat me.
My dad use to do the cruel punishments and actually make me pick the branch(Switch) that I would be beat with and if I chose a small one, he'd go out and get the biggest one yet. It was just...
Glad that's over with.
When I was kid, I use to scared to death of doing anything wrong because I was always thought my mom or dad would beat me.
My dad use to do the cruel punishments and actually make me pick the branch(Switch) that I would be beat with and if I chose a small one, he'd go out and get the biggest one yet. It was just...
Glad that's over with.
