@Aim64C, I'm not sure what you mean, may you please explain in more detail?
Let's say you are having a video chat with:
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Things go well, and you decide to meet up at a steak&shake or something. The conversation goes so well that things start to get serious.
When the clothes come off, though - we are presented with a sudden predicament as the outward anatomical features do not match up well with what's under the hood.
Let's say you're a girl who is into girls - or a guy who is into girls - you found the features of the body and the personality of the person attractive. If this person were a girl - you'd be in on it.
But they're not.
So you make the decision to 'abort operation' and 'return to base for debrief.'
The conscious decision was made: "I don't want a guy."
Everything up until that point made no difference.
"Straight" and "Gay" are different than "what you find attractive."
There are guys out there who like the idea of women with a penis - some guys even role-swap with their female partners using instruments purchased at adult stores. But those guys wouldn't pursue a relationship with another guy - no matter how effeminate he looks.
Then there are other people who just don't care. "It looks good attractive and I can make it scream my name - what's to turn down?"
The point I'm trying to make is that at some point, you've come to the decision: "I want to be with a guy." or "I want to be with a girl." Or - "I don't give a damned."
That decision is developed over time. It's based somewhat off of what you find attractive to begin with, and it's also based around your environment growing up. There are some genetic factors biasing all of that - but it also comes down to a conscious resolve that is continually reinforced throughout your life.
Which is why some people shift from heterosexual to homosexual and vise-verse. It's also why you have homosexuals attracted to guys who have surgery to look like girls - and guys who like to pretend their woman has parts she doesn't (but would probably pay for the surgery if they had it).
But you won't find many who actually want to discuss the issue intelligently.
They want a simple way of assigning blame for things. You have people who want to try and say: "you chose all of this" and you have people who want to say: "I am not in any way responsible."
Hardly anybody wants to come to understand how human sexuality and concepts of attraction work.