Very often, when I say or write something, I start to question languages. Example:
A few days ago, I wrote the word "more".. and then I wondered why it is the way it is. I said "more" over and over again and thought it sounds pretty stupid. This happens a lot to me with all kinds of words in english and german.
This happens to me with the words "aisle" and "afraid."
I get really fascinated by simple geometric shapes. Like, the shape of schoolbuses fascinates me, and I was poring over the details of how the top of the bus is curved and how that's advantageous because it keeps snow from building up on top of there, but then, why aren't trucks shaped the same way? And then I realized it's because the cargo container that trucks have are oftentimes stacked on top of each other in warehouses and shipping stations at ports and whatnot.
But it also happens with things that have nothing to do with function. Like, I spent a good ten minutes staring at my bookshelf once because the square-ness of it fascinated me. I was like "How does this exist?"
Sometimes I think about death and I'm not scared at all by it because the idea of nothing is somehow reassuring, in the sense that being aware that I couldn't possibly be aware of anything makes it all seem less like something to worry about.
The fact that most of the people I know and interact with had *** the night or morning before I met them, and we all pretend it didn't happen, is astounding to me. I'm also astounded by the idea of professionalism in workplaces, and how everyone pretends that half of their life doesn't exist.
Still obsessing over the fact that you never really touch anything in the universe, and nothing is really touching anything in the universe, because microscopic forces repel objects from each other, and all you really "feel" is the force of yourself being pushed away from whatever you're touching.
Sometimes I think about how if God and hell and everything exists, and I got sent to hell for whatever reason, it wouldn't matter anyway. Because why would it matter? Just because somebody else said it mattered? Well it doesn't matter, because nothing matters unless I believe it matters. xD
I really feel like being sleep deprived is more enjoyable than being awake. I don't do drugs, but damn. That is, until I actually need to get something done, and I realize my brain won't focus. But like, why do drugs when you can just stay awake, man? xD