Nothing Is What It Seems chapter 1

DeathDreamer

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Good Job :) Cant Wait To read the rest of the chapters.
 
iamkawaii08

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wow it's cool..! a good way to start a fic.. with all the mystery here and there..
and I actually imagine myself as excited as Gabriel if I ever see a snow..lol..(I live in a tropical country :shy: )
 
Seffy

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iamkawaii08 said:
wow it's cool..! a good way to start a fic.. with all the mystery here and there..
and I actually imagine myself as excited as Gabriel if I ever see a snow..lol..(I live in a tropical country :shy: )
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seeing snow for the first time can be exciting xd probably as much as watching a person freak out when they first see snow :D lol I'm glad you liked it
 
Reborn

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You're a wonderful writter. I didn't find anything wrong with anything in this chapter. I like the layout of the story and even the title. You use a lot of imagery in here which helped me picture what was going on and I can feel the intensity of the emotions of the characters..

Gabriel's love for his mother, to the point he's angered by his father's outbursts towrds her. His mixed feelings of anger and fustration with his father...angered when his father goes off at his mother...fustrated and guilty that he can't live up to his father's standards and causes him to go off the way he does....

I like Gabriel's mother too. She fits that picture of the perfect wife and mother who loves her child and husband...

I like Gabriel's father a little more then the other characters though, simply because everything with the other characters seems to revolve around his being. I may not be able to read the other three chapters tonight but I definatly will. If ever you decide to enter your fanfiction in the FF contests I wish you luck.
 
Seffy

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Reborn said:
You're a wonderful writter. I didn't find anything wrong with anything in this chapter. I like the layout of the story and even the title. You use a lot of imagery in here which helped me picture what was going on and I can feel the intensity of the emotions of the characters..

Gabriel's love for his mother, to the point he's angered by his father's outbursts towrds her. His mixed feelings of anger and fustration with his father...angered when his father goes off at his mother...fustrated and guilty that he can't live up to his father's standards and causes him to go off the way he does....

I like Gabriel's mother too. She fits that picture of the perfect wife and mother who loves her child and husband...

I like Gabriel's father a little more then the other characters though, simply because everything with the other characters seems to revolve around his being. I may not be able to read the other three chapters tonight but I definatly will. If ever you decide to enter your fanfiction in the FF contests I wish you luck.
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lol ty and i'm honored that you read this chapter :)
I'm a desrciptive writer, but when i do turn this into a novel, I can let lose my whole creative ideas and stuff. I hope you enjoy the other chapters as much as I enjoyed writing them :D
writing is my passion, i put myself into it.
 
SHARINGAN_USER UCHIHA_ITACHI

SHARINGAN_USER UCHIHA_ITACHI

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I'm starting to love the kid's Blue eyes..!!! xd
great theme, i don't believe i actually read that much of text... :rolleyes: over all Great work..!!! :cool:
 
Taiga

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WTH PAPA IS SO HARSH!
But this is a great story so far me likey c:
 
~Elixir~

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Its awesome for starters....
You must be registered for see images


Kinda make one read it throughout the other chapters....
But hope to see more mystery in next chapters which eventually i'm going to read... xd
 
Seffy

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~Elixir~ said:
Its awesome for starters....
You must be registered for see images


Kinda make one read it throughout the other chapters....
But hope to see more mystery in next chapters which eventually i'm going to read... xd
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of course there will be xd
ty wing-man! :hug: glad you liked it and oh how i've missed those cute emotes of yours! lol
 
~Elixir~

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ThatOneChick said:
of course there will be xd
ty wing-man! :hug: glad you liked it and oh how i've missed those cute emotes of yours! lol
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Offcourse i know...
You must be registered for see images
 
Bodhisattva

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nice~ reminds me of someone, though... anyway on to #2


:itachi:
 
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