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izinagi54

izinagi54

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once was world in years long gone
for it had fallen to history
erased through time
just like the hero's of old
who will be of bold
to suffer my cold beating heart
over my dead and broken soul

i lye awake half dead
have ever been so missled
instead of the night above
like the tigers upon its prey
i lay slain and razed

we are the forgotten
the lost and never found
why do we always follow the crowd
the once forgotten dreams
come loose in the seams
as the travesty falls runied
for the storm as taketh
my darkness

eligehate ies erigehate elikee deus aelemigehai emigehate abeoue tehae deoue

(light is right like god almighty might above the dove)


- christopher
 
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Supermacaquecool

Supermacaquecool

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izinagi54 said:
i lye awake half dead
have ever been so missled
instead of the night above
like the tigers upon its prey
i lay slain and razed

- christopher
Click to expand...
This is my fav. stanza. In this one I could get sonority better.
Poetry is not really mi thing, I had to read it a few times to understand (In the first verse you used a different structure for the sentece instead of the easy one: Subject+verb+etc. It worked well, but requires, at least in my case, to be read more than once.). It was good though. I'm begging to form mental images with the verses.
 
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