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"Always" is fair hyperbole, and it was never established that Hashirama was at the same level at their final battle.
If anything, he was above Madara at that battle. Madara planned on taking Hashirama's power by defeating him, but when he lost, he was still able to salvage his plan by gaining a part of Hashirama's power.
No, just in the parts Naruto referenced in his flashbacks: them as children [When Sasuke was famous] and them at the valley [When Sasuke referenced mind reading]. His failure to stop Sasuke, ties into how strong he is. Like Sasuke said, he won't convinced with words.
I certainly agree that, between Sasuke and Naruto, they could only really communicate through their fists as we have seen time and time again. That is what I feel Naruto is regretting. If he had, as seen in that first flashback, called out to Sasuke when they were kids (pre-academy), perhaps things would have worked out differently.
That being said, the way you worded your first post made it sound like Naruto was always playing catch-up when we know that Naruto and Sasuke have passed each other multiple times.
Also, perhaps he can't be convinced with words, but, as Madara said to Hashirama in a flashback, the only true way to come to peace is to show your enemy the true intentions and feelings of your heart. That happened today
