When I first went off to school (college) I had this problem. Although I never thought about cheating on him he always thought that I was. Therefore he would get mad if i talked to another guy or even if I just wore makeup to class. We got along better when we were together then when we were apart- and when we were on the phone/skyped/IMed he always grilled me on what I was doing and who I talked too and why. Sometimes those convos would go to the point where he was calling me a sl*t, lier or even a b*tch. Idk why I put up with it (might of been because he was my first- I know thats a little tmi) but still I put up with it and my first year at college was awful because of him( I can't remember one night were i didnt go to bed crying) Eventually he called me up and said he wanted to go on a break. I was heartbroken and a wreck. I didnt eat, didnt sleep, and i didnt talk to anyone. But thankfully my friends and family were always there for me. About a month later he wanted me to take him back. I will admit I wanted too but I didnt. I realized that he was no good for me and it was time to move on. And now even though I'm single I couldnt be happier. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that there comes a time in some relatoinships where you either push harder or you realize that its not meant to be and its time to end it (even when you may not want too) and if you have that temptation thats another red flag. There could be many reasons on why you could care about her ( like if she was your first). lol to be honest I still dont know what kept me from leaving that jerk months before leaving for school. But all in all if its meant to be it will be- but dont force it.
Well she is my first..... i think maybe i should push hard to get her back....but i read somewhere the girl should choose u.......most of the time i do not know what she is even up to......nor does she know what i am doing..... our communication is ......
I know right now she is talking to some other guy.....did they do anything i dont know..... i have 2 options either 1 push hard and basically..... ask her what shes doing everyday....not sure if i wana do this......it seems too clingy and needy..and ya the communication....
or
wait 1 month and then push hard and see what she has been doing....in a way i want to test her.. i dont want to be clingy....or needy...u hafta i guess in a long distance relationship..... this is a test in a way... if after a month she comes back to me i know she loves me still..
3 months after i left it was going smoothly she would leave me a message everyday, send me love notes, send me emails, and recently it has stopped....I am pretty sure she is talking to some other guy....i am pretty sure if i start grilling her it will pretty much kill the attraction... but if i just ignore her for a month if she loves me she will come back to me...of course this can also backfire if she just forgets me....
Here is where it gets tricky we have language barrier..... we speak 2 different languages and we cannot talk on the phone....we can barely understand each other.... only way of communicating is online and through the use of google translator.... so this just complicates things....
What would you do?
Cliff notes-
-We known each other for 3 months, made love, said we loved each other ( maybe its lust i cant tell rite now) b4 i left to go home.....(strange thing here b4 I left I asked her what if I find a american gf when i go home...she said it was ok, but she wouldn't have another bf and would wait for me to return, What's the secret message of this? girls of NB help?)
-Go home first 3 months sped. She sends me messages, emails, love letters....recently it has stopped and I feel she is talking to another guy.
-Language barriers, only can talk online using translators and it is hard to communicate what we have been doing.
-I felt like she was madly in love with me...This makes it hurt more...she def. loved me more then i loved her. Now i do not know..
What would you do?
a. Confront her now what is going on and start to get clingy and needy communcation. This could result in a quick official breakup but least its fast.
b. Forget her. Wait for a month to see what happens and if she is still in love then start getting clingy...sigh LDR...if not break it off then....this is also a test. (girls usualy testing us guys time to turn the tables chaaaaa)
c. Cut off all communications.(limited)/break it off right now. return in a year for a ez booty call/possible re-unite.
d. anything else?
Thanx for your thoughts and suggestions everyone!