Depends on my kid.
Any responsible adult would put an end to the abusive behavior occurring at the moment. However, there is an important lesson to be learned in defending one's self. Adults cannot observe children 100% of the time, and there will also be a time when children become adults in their own right - and must shoulder those same responsibilities.
If I know my kid has not been properly instructed in this - I will immediately put a stop to the abuse and recognize that it is time to teach the kid about such things. On the other hand, if I know my kid has been instructed - I will allot time for him/her to act upon those instructions.
There is a time to act directly, and a time to act in support.
I'm a college student, this scenario is just imagining a 13 year old going through this issue, well i was also imagining myself as a parent and how i'd deal with it.
Although while your friends idea does make sense, you also underestimate the "power" a school bully has over the rest of the student population. Hell that's even assuming meeting friends will stop him because like you said yourself, when your not around your new posse he'll still continue his acts.
I think people over-estimate the power of bullies. Granted, I'm from a different school climate, but I have dealt with plenty of bullies and would-be bullies in my years at school.
There was one kid on the bus who seemed to have a lot of friends who would often talk big and more or less shove others around. There were two specific times I dealt with him in two different ways. One day, he and his group of friends were teasing one of the girls (who was, strangely, one of his 'friends') on the bus about the possibility of her being a ***** of some sort (this was like twelve years ago, so my memory of exactly what it was about is a bit foggy). All I did was make a comment about how stupid he was, and then the entire round of teasing was diverted to me - and I was used to enduring his nonsense. The poor girl was in tears over all of it, and she thanked me later.
It was amusing how easy he was to control.
No idea what happened to her after she and I were done with school, though.
Anyway - I believe it was after the prior incident - but he was in the middle of some antic or another on the bus, and he stood up in my face over it. I wore glasses at the time, and he threw them across the bus. In a single motion, I rotated so one leg was behind his knees, grabbed his throat, and slammed him into a nearby seat. I just sat there for a second with him pinned before letting him up (the poor girl in the seat I slammed him into didn't quite know what to think). I sat back down, someone handed me my glasses, and a few moments later, I feel a tap on my shoulder. I look around - and he punched me in the nose. I believe I stood back up - but he went scampering off back to his seat. I let it go. I think it was probably the first time he'd ever really punched someone, and it didn't quite get the results he was expecting.
He would occasionally smart off to me - but he never challenged me, again. In some ways, he almost became a decent human being toward me.
While other kids would occasionally follow him in his line of harassment/abuse of others - not a one of them was really willing to stick their neck out for him - and were probably just going along with him because they didn't want to be a target of it, themselves (it's kind of strange how that works, sometimes).
I still think the best work around would be to go the extreme method and scare the bully yourself or the peaceful route and simply relocate your child.
You can put a stop to it while you are present to put a stop to it. But that doesn't do much for when you aren't.
You are, also, not going to be able to scare a bully into not being a bully. It doesn't work that way. Bullies are, typically, insecure individuals who seek a sense of security through an assertion of dominance. Because they have no control over certain other aspects of their life that worry them - they seek to take control elsewhere. Trying to scare them into not being bullies is simply an element of fictitious drama developed to resolve such conflicts using PG comedy.
There is a time to walk away, though - and that option should never be excluded from consideration... at the same time... it has to be considered within the proper context. Sending your kid to another school because of one bully is patently ridiculous. By all means - if we are talking about the adult world and an employer is being unfair to the person in question - then seeking employment elsewhere is always a valid option (and would generally be encouraged - your time, effort, and talents should always be appreciated for what they are). If the school were instating education policies that you disagreed with or that made it nearly impossible for your child to get the education he/she deserves... then, yes - that makes sense (rather than trying to cave in the skull of all the school board members).
But this is a bully and a small group of kids who go along with the bully. Moving to another school is just yielding to the childhood equivalent of a typical warlord.
TBH unless your mr miyagi im not sure he'd be able to beat an individual twice his size in such a short time. Then again i don't know how well you can fight so
Bullies don't want to work for things, and they certainly don't want to get injured. They are usually fleeing consequence and bullying is the avenue of least resistance to obtain what they are looking for.
You don't have to 'win' a fight with a bully to make them exclude you from their list of targets. You just have to make it not worth their while.
You would also be surprised what a little basic self-defense instruction can do to tip the odds in favor of someone. Most people are completely ignorant of the martial arts. They don't know how to throw a proper punch (or forward strike), they often place themselves off balance, or - worse - they have seen movies and try to perform flashy-looking stunts that are ineffective to begin with and poorly executed on their part.
Fighting often has little to do with overall size. While size is an important factor to consider, body position, balance, and inertia are the more important factors to consider.
For example, a properly thrown forward strike (punch) transfers the kinetic energy of your entire upper torso into roughly two knuckles on your hand. A fast strike with a solid "snap" is far more devastating than a slower strike thrown with more weight behind it. These are things that can be taught in just a few courses.
Similar principles apply to almost every motion. Be it the Marine Corps' forearm strike (preferred over a punch because it can be modified to work with the butt of a rifle and poses less risk of injury to the hand), a classic "shin rake," or certain grapples (which are extrapolations of apprehension grapples... except excessive force is used to disable knees, elbows, shoulders, etc).
You don't have to be a master to cause serious harm to people while fighting them.
The converse is actually true. It requires mastery to avoid causing harm to people while fighting them. The human body is exceptionally vulnerable if you know what you're looking for... and it can be difficult to have the discipline to avoid causing serious harm to people during fight or flight responses.
When I slammed that kid the way I did years ago - it was because I had martial arts training in grade school that I did it with the smoothness and confidence that I did. I knew exactly what was going to happen to that kid simply on instinct, and I could have followed through with all manner of things, as it was about two or three seconds before anyone else really began to react to what happened.
When you demonstrate the ability to put someone on their back in the blink of an eye with your hand on their throat - they tend to content themselves with not getting in your face. For most people, that is a very unsettling and frightening thing, particularly when they were looking at you and didn't even have time to register the movement before they were relieved of control over whether or not they would stand.
I suppose, in a sense, that is how you scare a bully into not being a bully.
