If your Child was being bullied, how would you deal with it

[Chibiusa]

But then he goes through 4 years of getting furiously beat down and harassed. I'm not agreeing with the people that say fight back because most of the times, that's just issuing a challenge, but the best option in this case is to move your kid or personally talking with the bully, but thats a stretch.

moving away because of a bully is illogical and inconvenient

 

[Commander Axe]

That's laughable. I don't know what grade we're talking here, but I know that in high school if someone's being physically bullied the school will suspend both the bully and the victim. Doesn't matter if the victim never rose a finger in self defense, if the school sees a fight the system doesn't do a damn thing to investigate. Just suspends them both without question.

Now, while I'm at it, for the topic at hand. Again, it helps to know what grade we are talking here. So I'll try to generalize this.

If you're the parent in this scenario, I can tell you that the last thing you want to be is "that parent" that tries to take action for their kid. You know, "that parent" who makes a big deal out of everything, always going to school board and demanding this and that every time little Johnny comes home with a black eye. Maybe even relocates little Johnny to a different school. Contrary to what most parent's believe, that only gives the bullies satisfaction. Doesn't matter if the bully gets in 'trouble' by their own parents, or even the school. The little shits just know that they hold that much power over your kid. Because that's all bullying comes down to: a power play.

Now, if you're the kid in this scenario, again bullying comes down to a power play. As such the simple thing to do as the victim is to not give the bully any power over you (though again, how this is done differs with what grade/age we're talking about). Though one similar tactic across all ages would be to surround yourself with friends. As the saying goes, "there is power in numbers". Often a bully will surround himself with a group of little shit heads for this same reason, so why shouldn't you?

Different ages of children will call for different appropriate reactions to bullies as I stated, so it really depends on how old the kid in question is.

Well I was thinking middle school level, around 13 but the friend's thing would help, although it depends on the "friends". A lot of kids if they notice your getting bullied by the school's number 1 thug won't even attempt to befriend you out of fear. Though if your child befriends another big individual who doesn't take sh*t then that's definitely gonna help him out.

 

[Monxstaa]

Cant do anything about it he has to learn for himself to fight back but its the parents responsibility to take him boxing or some sort of training

 

[Henry1350cent]

i would teach him karate and other fighting styles at a young age so if a bully were to approach him he knows how to fight back

 

[Commander Axe]

moving away because of a bully is illogical and inconvenient

But in some extreme cases, one of your only solutions

 

[Beans2]

The obvious answer is to take it up with the school administration to make sure it doesn't continue.

 

[Pumpkin Ninja]

This is what this thread reminded me of:

You must be registered for see images

 

[ANiMUS]

Confront the principal and take my child to self defense classes and we both start to work out together at home.

 

[Commander Axe]

Confront the principal and take my child to self defense classes and we both start to work out together at home.

Principal would most likely "look into it" while your kid still gets bullied either in the school yards or during class shifts.

Only valid solutions i've seen here are extreme methods which I must say is sad and something that must be changed within the education system. Would hate to have to dress up as slenderman just to scare away my child's bully but it seems to be the only thing that would actually work aside from moving.

 

[Punk Hazard]

I think a lot of us imagine ourselves like this.

nah for real, I'd confront the parents and the kid and talk to them about it.

 

[Commander Axe]

I think a lot of us imagine ourselves like this.

nah for real, I'd confront the parents and the kid and talk to them about it.

well damn
and if the parents don't give a sh*t, i imagine you'll reenact the video?
I'm not insinuating that you would though just wondering if it would be your last resort

 

[ANiMUS]

Principal would most likely "look into it" while your kid still gets bullied either in the school yards or during class shifts.

Only valid solutions i've seen here are extreme methods which I must say is sad and something that must be changed within the education system. Would hate to have to dress up as slenderman just to scare away my child's bully but it seems to be the only thing that would actually work aside from moving.

I doubt slenderman would do anything and harassing a child could land u in jail :|

 

[Commander Axe]

I doubt slenderman would do anything and harassing a child could land u in jail :|

nah it was a joke in response to fiddstx ski mask idea, but like I told fiddstx, while it's a bit of an extreme method it would work depending on if you pull off the scare correctly

 

[Pumpkin Ninja]

I think a lot of us imagine ourselves like this.

nah for real, I'd confront the parents and the kid and talk to them about it.

Agreed, we should all take some notes from Colin Ferrell.

 

[Cfighter]

Well I was thinking middle school level, around 13 but the friend's thing would help, although it depends on the "friends". A lot of kids if they notice your getting bullied by the school's number 1 thug won't even attempt to befriend you out of fear. Though if your child befriends another big individual who doesn't take sh*t then that's definitely gonna help him out.

Im not to sure what the context is here. Maybe you are a parent with a kid around 13 years old who's being bullied. Maybe your a kid being bullied. Maybe you're just writing a story about a kid who's 13 years old and is being bullied. I can tell you this, there is a difference between what I would recommend in reality and if you were writing a story. For now I'll just stick to the assumption that there is a real 13 year old kid with an issue with the "biggest bully in the school".

The problem with middle school and kids of the appropriate age, is that middle school can be a very daunting thing for most kids. Around that age is when a child's mind really begins developing. They start maturing, and begin going through puberty. And unless the parent has a very close connection with their child, this is also around the time the children will stop confiding things in their parents as they think the whole world is out to get them. Because of this, it can be difficult to help a child in middle school work out such difficulties, as in most cases the parents are oblivious to these things going on. As much as it may be a cop out, it's really a case-by-case basis on how to help a kid go through bullying at this age.

Now as for the kid.

I stand firm that surrounding yourself (as the kid) with friends is the best option to take away power from the bully. You comment that the kid's "friends" may keep away from the victim in fear of the bully, well if that were the case then they really aren't his friends after all, are they? A kid may make "playmates" in elementary school, but it's in middle school that kids develop actual friends. And these are typically the same friends that they continue to develop relationships/friendships with in high school. You underestimate just how loyal friends can be in middle school, as in middle school children are still pure of heart and are still innocent minded (even if it's just for a few more years). If a group of children knowingly stay away from one child because they don't want to get in the way of the bully, then they are definitely not friends of the victim. True friends would band together, regardless of if they stand up to the bully for the victim, or if they likewise become victims themselves.

As for your idea that the victim befriend another "big individual", in middle school this may not be the best idea as that would only fuel the bully's sense of power over the victim. The bully would see the victim is hiding behind a larger person, and while they may stay away from the victim when he/she is around the new "friend", they would continue to harass him/her whenever they aren't with their new bodyguard. Also, this is usually just a poor way to make a new "friend" unless there is a genuine connection between the two.

 

[Jazzy Stardust]

I doubt slenderman would do anything and harassing a child could land u in jail :|

Keyword.

 

[Punk Hazard]

well damn
and if the parents don't give a sh*t, i imagine you'll reenact the video?
I'm not insinuating that you would though just wondering if it would be your last resort

It would cross my mind, but I wouldn't resort to beating the dad's ass. Push comes to shove, I'd go to the principal and make note of it. I won't lie and say this works 100% of the time, but it's worth a shot. If that doesn't work, I'll teach my kid to beat the bully's ass.

 

[Commander Axe]

Im not to sure what the context is here. Maybe you are a parent with a kid around 13 years old who's being bullied. Maybe your a kid being bullied. Maybe you're just writing a story about a kid who's 13 years old and is being bullied. I can tell you this, there is a difference between what I would recommend in reality and if you were writing a story. For now I'll just stick to the assumption that there is a real 13 year old kid with an issue with the "biggest bully in the school".

The problem with middle school and kids of the appropriate age, is that middle school can be a very daunting thing for most kids. Around that age is when a child's mind really begins developing. They start maturing, and begin going through puberty. And unless the parent has a very close connection with their child, this is also around the time the children will stop confiding things in their parents as they think the whole world is out to get them. Because of this, it can be difficult to help a child in middle school work out such difficulties, as in most cases the parents are oblivious to these things going on. As much as it may be a cop out, it's really a case-by-case basis on how to help a kid go through bullying at this age.

Now as for the kid.

I stand firm that surrounding yourself (as the kid) with friends is the best option to take away power from the bully. You comment that the kid's "friends" may keep away from the victim in fear of the bully, well if that were the case then they really aren't his friends after all, are they? A kid may make "playmates" in elementary school, but it's in middle school that kids develop actual friends. And these are typically the same friends that they continue to develop relationships/friendships with in high school. You underestimate just how loyal friends can be in middle school, as in middle school children are still pure of heart and are still innocent minded (even if it's just for a few more years). If a group of children knowingly stay away from one child because they don't want to get in the way of the bully, then they are definitely not friends of the victim. True friends would band together, regardless of if they stand up to the bully for the victim, or if they likewise become victims themselves.

As for your idea that the victim befriend another "big individual", in middle school this may not be the best idea as that would only fuel the bully's sense of power over the victim. The bully would see the victim is hiding behind a larger person, and while they may stay away from the victim when he/she is around the new "friend", they would continue to harass him/her whenever they aren't with their new bodyguard. Also, this is usually just a poor way to make a new "friend" unless there is a genuine connection between the two.

I'm a college student, this scenario is just imagining a 13 year old going through this issue, well i was also imagining myself as a parent and how i'd deal with it.

Although while your friends idea does make sense, you also underestimate the "power" a school bully has over the rest of the student population. Hell that's even assuming meeting friends will stop him because like you said yourself, when your not around your new posse he'll still continue his acts.

I still think the best work around would be to go the extreme method and scare the bully yourself or the peaceful route and simply relocate your child.

It would cross my mind, but I wouldn't resort to beating the dad's ass. Push comes to shove, I'd go to the principal and make note of it. I won't lie and say this works 100% of the time, but it's worth a shot. If that doesn't work, I'll teach my kid to beat the bully's ass.

TBH unless your mr miyagi im not sure he'd be able to beat an individual twice his size in such a short time. Then again i don't know how well you can fight so

 

[Punk Hazard]

I'm a college student, this scenario is just imagining a 13 year old going through this issue, well i was also imagining myself as a parent and how i'd deal with it.

Although while your friends idea does make sense, you also underestimate the "power" a school bully has over the rest of the student population. Hell that's even assuming meeting friends will stop him because like you said yourself, when your not around your new posse he'll still continue his acts.

I still think the best work around would be to go the extreme method and scare the bully yourself or the peaceful route and simply relocate your child.



TBH unless your mr miyagi im not sure he'd be able to beat an individual twice his size in such a short time. Then again i don't know how well you can fight so

A well placed kick to the balls and/or shin and a punch to the throat oughta do the trick. Most bullies pick on people for the power, people they feel won't fight back. Lots of times, showing fight discourages the bully.

 

[Cfighter]

I'm a college student, this scenario is just imagining a 13 year old going through this issue, well i was also imagining myself as a parent and how i'd deal with it.

Although while your friends idea does make sense, you also underestimate the "power" a school bully has over the rest of the student population. Hell that's even assuming meeting friends will stop him because like you said yourself, when your not around your new posse he'll still continue his acts.

I still think the best work around would be to go the extreme method and scare the bully yourself or the peaceful route and simply relocate your child.

If the bully had that much of an influence that he could monopolize the entire school, then that's just a corrupt school system in place. And the unfortunate reality is that situations like that do happen, which only serves to speak for our actual broken school system. Across all grades.

At that point, it would be best to involve the police. And it probably would be best to remove your child from the school as soon as possible, because the school system would have to be damaged to the point where they would either be tolerant of such a dictatorship, or be ignorant of one. And both scenarios are worse than the other.

The key thing to note in that more extreme situation, would be that as I mentioned before, middle school is a very taxing time period for a child. And relocating your kid would only add more problems to a very long list of problems that you very well may not even be aware of, because again, its around this time the child stops confiding everything in the parent. Extreme solutions like moving a child to a different school could potentially damage the relationship between parent and child, depending on circumstances.

Anyway, that's just my food for thought =D