No it's not about being "worthy". Have you forgotten the procedure to attain Bankai? You have to force your Zanpakuto into submission, it doesn't matter if it "talks" to you. For example look at Zangetsu and Ichigo. Zangetsu was constantly lending Ichigo his power but even though they already had a solid relationship, they talked frequently and they trusted each other, Ichigo still had to undergo the Bankai training. So it isn't about whether the Shinigami is "worthy" or not.
The only case of a misunderstanding between a Shinigami and the Zanpakuto was Renji and Zabimaru. For some reason, Zabimaru didn't fully trust Renji which is why he only gave him the partial name of his Bankai. I still don't get why he "lied" to him as Ichibei stated.