Do You Believe Beatings Should be Used to Discipline?
- Thread starter ComplexCity
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Punk Hazard
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Which makes beating them no better than talking anyways, so your insinuation that it works better in your previous post is still wrong.
Also, the next time you think ¨Negative punishment won't work¨, ask yourself this: When was the last time someone got beat at work for disobeying their boss? When was the last time someone a judge ruled ¨You get a spanking¨ when they broke the law? When was the last time the IRS slapped someone across the face because they failed to pay their mortgage? Never, you get your job, your freedom, and your house taken from you. The whole real world revolves around negative punishment, not positive. The kid getting what he wants by not washing the dishes goes hand in hand with something he doesn't want happening anyways, so he's still less likely to commit the same act again.
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GhostProject
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There is no argument. Hitting a kid as a parent puts them at higher risk for mental illness and adulthood aggression. It also is an inconsistent method of "teaching," making it both unethical and illogical.
It's crazy that there are people that still condone abuse in the 21st century.
It's crazy that there are people that still condone abuse in the 21st century.
ComplexCity
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Wrong many factors play into this, such as not teaching your child the right way to live while they are young. I don't know how a study can speak the multitudes of people who graduate college and live successful lives, seems inaccurate to me
Punk Hazard
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No, I'm comparing concepts. One of the reasons I don't believe in hitting your child over negative punishment is because it's not the way the real world works. While adults are capable of processing negative punishments better, the underlying concept is still the same: You do something wrong, it costs you something, something is taken.
GhostProject
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You can't call someone wrong because you ignore evidence. Google it for studies. That's plural. So are you saying that the best method of teaching children is through violence? Care to explain that one to me?
Punk Hazard
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Of course. Someone doesn't do what you want how you want it, slap them and it's fixed. When you fail a quiz, the teacher slaps you, right? That's how the real world works, right?
Princess Kaguya
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Beating a child to discipline them has not been proven to have positive effects on the child's development.
I guess I would use the word spank instead of beat because beating just sounds too much. I've been spanked a couple of times when I was a kid and yes I believe that it should be a part of discipline. Kids who doesn't know their boundaries and does not respect their parents should experience some spanking from time to time. It's just important that parents are not too dumb to know when to use this kind of discipline and also know it's limitation.
Why people even act like beating works 100% of time with no consequences other than child behaving well?
No i do not think it should be the solution. It is pathetic not to mention there is no line to draw.
No i do not think it should be the solution. It is pathetic not to mention there is no line to draw.
Kazehime Seirin
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Conspirator.
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Moderation is the key. Nothing should be done excessively. Sometimes, talking to your kid is not going to change their behaviour. Say, your kid has been smashing China plates for no reason, and you tell them kindly to stop for a month, and they don't, what are your options? Sometimes, a smack on the bum will make them change for the better, since they associate the bad behaviour with pain. Not saying this is a foolproof way that has a hundred percent success rate, but it's one of the potential options that you, as a parent have at your disposal. Again, you must not go overboard. Quite bluntly, I'd rather be spanked a few times as a kid...... as opposed to getting spanked by the law as an adult.
Tennis Robot
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I don't know what you are laughing about.
ah man , this was funny , thanks a lot.
Ken Kaneki
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1) Everything in moderation
2) Every lock has a different key(this is not an English quote but from my native language. I translated it because I thought it is applicable here)
2) Every lock has a different key(this is not an English quote but from my native language. I translated it because I thought it is applicable here)
I believe it depends largely upon the individual and upon the 'offense.'
Going back ten years to my college psychology class, the research at the time suggested that younger children would respond well to physical adjustments - abrupt physical contact to interrupt the action and force attention onto what the adult had to say. The effectiveness of this began to wear off as kids got older than about eight years old.
Of course - this is just what was in our textbook with some brief overviews. I didn't actually review the individual studies and their methods - so I can't comment as to those.
What I will say is that my own experience with myself and my brothers was that the most important thing is for a parent to be the parent (they aren't "friends" - they are mentors and authority figures). Specifically what actions taken are not as important as an explanation of why those consequences are being imposed.
My father never spanked me without a very clear understanding of why (he loved to lecture, as many of you can probably tell). I was never grounded without a very clear understanding of why.
Now - grounding me wasn't very effective. I could entertain myself by making my hand-spiders fight each other - so being grounded or banishing me to the corner was just designated brooding time. But for me to have made my parents so disappointed in me as to administer a spanking... it wasn't the physical act of spanking that got through to me - it was the fact that what I'd done was such that they were actually willing to cause pain to me. It was the expression of disappointment that got through to me.
My younger brother was somewhat similar to me - although he tended to respond better to grounding. He was used to having an older brother beat the hell out of him as a general course of existence, so the spanking wasn't as big of a deal as them telling him that he couldn't go places and do things.
My youngest brother was pretty much immune to spanking. He just got back up with that look of "wait until I'm bigger" in his eyes. What got through to him was making him go stand in the corner. He loved being the center of attention and being able to become the center of attention. When you stuck him in the corner - it was a rejection of his presence as a consequence of his behavior.
I do think that there comes a time when physical assertion is relevant to teenagers. At some point, a growing child is going to test the boundaries. The attitude of "make me" comes up to some extent as a natural consequence that someone becomes aware of his or her own ability to do things.
When the kid more or less says: "Make me" - then the parent needs to do just that and impose upon the child that there are such things as bigger fish in the pond that must be respected, if for nothing else, their ability to make it very difficult for you to do whatever you want.
There were times I pushed my boundaries and my father put me in check by putting me on the ground. It made me realize that I can't just do whatever I want - or, at the very least, that deciding to certain courses of action resulted in conflict that I had to deal with.
No parent is perfect in their application of discipline.
That said, I know why it was my parents were trying to discipline me - what it was they wanted me to understand, and why I should strive to achieve it.
That is the most important part of any discipline as it allows someone to continue developing even after they leave the sphere of influence of a parent (or the parent departs the world).
It varies on the circumstances. But yes, beating the child to discipline them can be good depending on the child's behaviour and level of understanding. You have to, of course, start discipline them by talking to them first; if talking showed no results, then you move on to another form of discipline and that is beating them. As I said, it varies between each person's behaviour and level of understanding. Let's say...
A child under the of 12/13 should be beaten softly, something like pulling their ears, slapping them. After that age, the child will start developing mentally and physically, and if they are still at the state of needing discipline, you have to beat them with sticks or wires - something that would physically hurt them to bits. Until they reach the age where they are considered adults, 18 in that case, they would have been disciplined.
A child under the of 12/13 should be beaten softly, something like pulling their ears, slapping them. After that age, the child will start developing mentally and physically, and if they are still at the state of needing discipline, you have to beat them with sticks or wires - something that would physically hurt them to bits. Until they reach the age where they are considered adults, 18 in that case, they would have been disciplined.