[Bleruto FF lol] The girl with blessed eyes: Chapter I

Hikari Uchiha Senju

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I

It was a cold january night, the birds and stray dogs were in their shalteres, yet the cold whent to their bones making them shiver. The wind was bending everithing, including the tall grass arownd the nearby pond while the rain was falling hevilly making the dak from the its depths mixing with bright light of a full moon. The site itself would be beautifoul to watch from the "Melody Pond" orphenege dorms, but instead of peace, it was giving chilles to those who were awoke.

" What's wrong? Why aren't you sleeping? " said a tenuous voice with a stright tone.

" Nothing, just... Nevermind, keep on with whatever youre doing Cassandra. " replyed a girl with voice deeper than a 17 year old should have while inadvertently looking at her - a chubby dark than woman whose hair was so wild and curly that it seemed it was barely put in a bun.

" If you say so, mis zanahorias pequeñas. " the women with a grin.

" And if I may know, what does that 'mis blablabla' mean? "

" My baby carrot " responded the woman smiling

Girls face blushed immediately and her dark green eyes got a fiery look. " Nah, nah, why do you get mad about everything? "

" Not everything... Just certein stuff, I hate when people disrespect me."

" And certain stuff is: your hair, your style, boys, grades, friends.... Wich is pretty much everything. I'm telling you this with best intentiones - be more calm. "

" But, -"

" You'll thank me one day, you'll see. " said the worker as she walked away from the girls section.

The ginger girl slided her, now gloomy look, to the window. As she gazed into the storm outside her toughts were floating in her past; she remembered all the names she was called, like "Carrot top" , "Whiny", "Wierdo", "Witch" etc. Teares filled up her eyes, but she didn't allow them to run; instead, she sgueezed her pillow silently so no one would see or hear her suffer. Then the sound of lightning strike cleared up the girls mind, the teares evaporated, and she laied in her bed and smelling the clean bedding.

As she was falling asleep more and more nice memories were apperaing in her head, but the one that made her especially happy was the one she barley remembered; she didn't know how old she was - just that she was verry young - neither she could tell the looks of the peoples faces clearly, but she knew she was with her parents and that everyone was happy - specialy her mother whoes smile and silky black hair were prevailing in this memory. She has other memories with her parents too, like the one where her dad spined her arownd and all she could see was his allmost white hair.

Her dreames were broken by a wave of cold air which goth to the court of her bones.

" Hisana, wake up. " whispered a strange, tiny yet strong, voice.

" Are you insane? Cassandra will kick both of our asses if she sees you, go away and cover me. "

" It's the shift change in case you haven't notised. "

" Well if you haven't noticed we don't have a clock in here, moron. " she replyed

" Never mind, I need to talk to you. Get dressed, I'll be at the pond. "

" Are you blind, it's..." she stopped because the rain must have probably stoped since she fell asleep " Ok, give me a minute. "

Hisana, after she got dressed, jumped trough the window (it wasn't high, just 3 meters or so) and met her friend. His name was Itachi and the meaning of the name ( weashel ) didn't suite him at all. He was smart, but rarely showed that side of him, he usualy acted goofy and he also had that 'fanboying' syndrom, as she liked to call it.

" So, what's wrong? " she asked while looking at his sad, big gray eyes

" Kai beat me at poker so I had to take a picture of myself with ONLY pink nickeres! "

She uncounchesly laughed at it, but had stopped immmediatley because she had alwayes hated to see anyone hurt, especially her childhood friend.

~ please tell me Your opinion on my work ~

 
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Tsuki

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Liked the story, I think it was well written and nice to read ^^
There were small mistakes but I'm sure they will dissapear as you keep on writing more.
What's important is the creativity and being able to express it through your fanfic.

Please inform me if you release a new chapter =D
 
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~Zonta~

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Hahah great read as always ....... Loved reading it ....
You must be registered for see images


I want to read the second chapter soon hehe Hisana seems to be a cool and kind person :yayy:

I liked this Itachi guy more or less resembles me to some extent XD

 

Hikari Uchiha Senju

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Liked the story, I think it was well written and nice to read ^^
There were small mistakes but I'm sure they will dissapear as you keep on writing more.
What's important is the creativity and being able to express it through your fanfic.

Please inform me if you release a new chapter =D
Thanks you, I'll keep improving :)
Sure
Nice story :DDDD
Thanks :D
Hahah great read as always ....... Loved reading it ....
You must be registered for see images


I want to read the second chapter soon hehe Hisana seems to be a cool and kind person :yayy:

I liked this Itachi guy more or less resembles me to some extent XD

I'm so glad you liked it Neal-kun <3 ^^
Apart from few spelling mistakes.... It was a brilliant story! Good job!
Thanks
Excellent ending Lol
Hahah, tnx
I like the story,you have a talent for writing so keep up your work ^^ Hope to see more stuff from you
Thank you ^_^
You will :D
Wow
Just
Wow
<3.
Thanks, man <3
 
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Good work. Thnx for the link. Though I think you should have told a bit more in the 1st chap. The end was rather sudden. But nevertheless I enjoyed reading it. Send me the link to the 2nd chap when you are done with it. I am rather interested. Keep up this good work.
 

Hikari Uchiha Senju

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hey there! thanks for sending me the link on my page ; ) I really enjoyed reading it! Keep up the great work!
np xD
Thanks, I will ^_^
good work ,keep it up=D
Thanks :3
Good work. Thnx for the link. Though I think you should have told a bit more in the 1st chap. The end was rather sudden. But nevertheless I enjoyed reading it. Send me the link to the 2nd chap when you are done with it. I am rather interested. Keep up this good work.
Thanks :D
np ^^
You're right, I hope I'll make it up in the second one :p
Nice Story ... liked the ending ... Itachi Huh ... 'Fanboying' XD
Thanks :D
well....XD
 

Frankenstein

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Okay I guess this is just an introductory chapter so it's interesting to see where you are going with this.

(I will not be a grammar nazi, google can help you with that :p )
 
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