Scary Yamato
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Months had passed since the assualt on the village by Smishamonsama and his partner Shmelias. In celebration of my victory I had erected a giant statue of myself riding a tiger that was jumping over a shark trying to bite us. The townspeople had no appreciation for fine art and promptly took it down. They calimed *air quotes* They needed the wood to rebuild the town *re-emphasize air quotes* and that I was a selfish bastard for not helping out. *end air quotes* but I knew they were just jeaous of my swagger. The town had rebuilt and things were relatively peacefull. As things settled down I tried to take on another student to pass the time. The kid began to get on my nerves… quickly.
Student: OMG. Sensei! Pleeeeeease teach me water jutsu.
Yamato: ^_^ sure, just let me…
Student: Teach me to kick ass with earth justu!!! *squeel*
Yamato: But what about the wat…
Student: Teach me to summon a giant gorilla who eats big bananas.
Yamato: but I don’t kno…
Student: Oh, oh OHHHH… Teach me your customs and approve my bio.
Yamato: ò_ó
Student: :3
Long story short, I’m not allowed within 100 meters of the student, his family, or his pet llama.
I decided to do some traveling while I was on my suspension… err… I mean vacation. Words to the wise, apparently the village of the mist doesn’t appreciate it when you try to pick up people in their hot springs. To be fair, I didn’t know it was their hokage when I told her she wouldn’t get splinters when handling this wood. So 4 days, 2 sexual harasment charges, and one bad case of acid crotch later, I left the mist village and got back on the road.
Nightfall swiftly came upon me. Thunder could be heard in the distance and I grew fearfull of the storm I may have to face. Luckily I had my stuffed frog, Sir. Winston Hoppington III, to keep me safe. Another hour of stumbling around in the dark led me to what appeared to be a rock quarry. I could smell smoke, but not normal smoke, happy smoke. ^_^ I rushed towards my new objective, and I could only hope there were some cheeto’s or maybe funions I could snack on later. As I approached I could see a figure training near a campfire. He was performing a weird form of kenjutsu while holding multiple swords. He was so dark skinned that I could only track his movements from the glints of light from the fire glistening off his swords as they danced through the night, or when he opened his mouth and I could see his teeth. I instantly begin to size him up to see how we measured up. I knew what I needed to do. I had to be a jerk to him to see how he reacted then I could judge his confidence levels. I began to worry about how to retort if he became a jerk as well. It was decided it had to be a good old fashioned Jerk-off to see who was the bigger jerk, and therefor more confidant. I apprached slowly, then he spoke.
Killer bee: -_- you said all that stuff out loud foo’.
Yamato: :3
Killer bee: Speak before I kill you and make stranger stew… foo’.
Yamato: Why do you wear sunglasses at night? You know you look like Wesley Snipes from Blade. O_O Are you a vampire who hunts other vampires? That would be SWEEEEEET! You seem like a cool guy, besides the whole killing me and eating me thing, but if you promise not to kill me we can talk about the eating thing later ~_ô. So who are you anyway?
Killer bee: You’ve reached the master of electro fighting. Witness the power of black lightning.
Yamato: O_O NO WAY!!! Black lightning??? That’s so cool ^_^ *fangirl screech*
Yamato: *excited* O_O blow up that boulder over there.
The strange man performed some interesting hand seals, and then suddenly the area filled with thunder.
Yamato: <.<…>.> I don’t see anything.
Killer bee: Umm… well… Its black… and it’s night… cut me some slack… that shi’ was tight.
Yamato: -____-
Nearby bush: *sneeze*
Yamato: what the hell!!!
I walk over to the bush to see some dude holding a large piece of sheetmetal. As he drops the piece of sheetmetal it creates the thunder noise which I heard earlier.
Yamato: O_O *turning and pointing over-dramatically* You’re a faker!!! >.< What has this world come to when you can trust homeless strangers you meet on the road?
Killer Bee: you got it wrong my man, that reflective metal is for my tan. :3
Yamato: -____-
Yamato: let me break it down. You’re jutsu’s weak and so are you. You’re so full of crap I have to…umm… poo.
Killer bee: You’re a weird dude, foo’. I wouldn’t let children near you.
Yamato: YOU BEAT ONE STUDENT AND HIS PARENTS WITH HIS PET LLAMA AND NO ONE LETS YOU LIVE IT DOWN!!!!
Killer bee: o_o what?
Yamato: *scowling* nothing… stop talking and start passin’
That was the beginning of a good night. We laughed. We Cryed. We contenplated the greater mysteries in life like if a cat was gay because it raised it’s ass when it’s pet, and if it was, were you gay for provoking it. Soon I drifted into a hazy sleep eager to begin the next day.
Student: OMG. Sensei! Pleeeeeease teach me water jutsu.
Yamato: ^_^ sure, just let me…
Student: Teach me to kick ass with earth justu!!! *squeel*
Yamato: But what about the wat…
Student: Teach me to summon a giant gorilla who eats big bananas.
Yamato: but I don’t kno…
Student: Oh, oh OHHHH… Teach me your customs and approve my bio.
Yamato: ò_ó
Student: :3
Long story short, I’m not allowed within 100 meters of the student, his family, or his pet llama.
I decided to do some traveling while I was on my suspension… err… I mean vacation. Words to the wise, apparently the village of the mist doesn’t appreciate it when you try to pick up people in their hot springs. To be fair, I didn’t know it was their hokage when I told her she wouldn’t get splinters when handling this wood. So 4 days, 2 sexual harasment charges, and one bad case of acid crotch later, I left the mist village and got back on the road.
Nightfall swiftly came upon me. Thunder could be heard in the distance and I grew fearfull of the storm I may have to face. Luckily I had my stuffed frog, Sir. Winston Hoppington III, to keep me safe. Another hour of stumbling around in the dark led me to what appeared to be a rock quarry. I could smell smoke, but not normal smoke, happy smoke. ^_^ I rushed towards my new objective, and I could only hope there were some cheeto’s or maybe funions I could snack on later. As I approached I could see a figure training near a campfire. He was performing a weird form of kenjutsu while holding multiple swords. He was so dark skinned that I could only track his movements from the glints of light from the fire glistening off his swords as they danced through the night, or when he opened his mouth and I could see his teeth. I instantly begin to size him up to see how we measured up. I knew what I needed to do. I had to be a jerk to him to see how he reacted then I could judge his confidence levels. I began to worry about how to retort if he became a jerk as well. It was decided it had to be a good old fashioned Jerk-off to see who was the bigger jerk, and therefor more confidant. I apprached slowly, then he spoke.
Killer bee: -_- you said all that stuff out loud foo’.
Yamato: :3
Killer bee: Speak before I kill you and make stranger stew… foo’.
Yamato: Why do you wear sunglasses at night? You know you look like Wesley Snipes from Blade. O_O Are you a vampire who hunts other vampires? That would be SWEEEEEET! You seem like a cool guy, besides the whole killing me and eating me thing, but if you promise not to kill me we can talk about the eating thing later ~_ô. So who are you anyway?
Killer bee: You’ve reached the master of electro fighting. Witness the power of black lightning.
Yamato: O_O NO WAY!!! Black lightning??? That’s so cool ^_^ *fangirl screech*
Yamato: *excited* O_O blow up that boulder over there.
The strange man performed some interesting hand seals, and then suddenly the area filled with thunder.
Yamato: <.<…>.> I don’t see anything.
Killer bee: Umm… well… Its black… and it’s night… cut me some slack… that shi’ was tight.
Yamato: -____-
Nearby bush: *sneeze*
Yamato: what the hell!!!
I walk over to the bush to see some dude holding a large piece of sheetmetal. As he drops the piece of sheetmetal it creates the thunder noise which I heard earlier.
Yamato: O_O *turning and pointing over-dramatically* You’re a faker!!! >.< What has this world come to when you can trust homeless strangers you meet on the road?
Killer Bee: you got it wrong my man, that reflective metal is for my tan. :3
Yamato: -____-
Yamato: let me break it down. You’re jutsu’s weak and so are you. You’re so full of crap I have to…umm… poo.
Killer bee: You’re a weird dude, foo’. I wouldn’t let children near you.
Yamato: YOU BEAT ONE STUDENT AND HIS PARENTS WITH HIS PET LLAMA AND NO ONE LETS YOU LIVE IT DOWN!!!!
Killer bee: o_o what?
Yamato: *scowling* nothing… stop talking and start passin’
That was the beginning of a good night. We laughed. We Cryed. We contenplated the greater mysteries in life like if a cat was gay because it raised it’s ass when it’s pet, and if it was, were you gay for provoking it. Soon I drifted into a hazy sleep eager to begin the next day.
