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Basic Information
Name: Wade Wilson [ デッドプール ]
Nickname: Deadpool // Merc with a Mouth // Mithras
Gender: Unquestionably Male
Age: 28
Clan: Kaguya
Looks:
Two words: Badass suit. Chicks dig it.
Its spandex. And we don't look very good without it either.
Shut up, black font voice. As I said. Badass. Without our trademark suit ( which you can see in the pictures there ) we look like Thom Cruz.
That was only when Loki cursed us.
Shut up.
Personality:
Noble, chivalrous, suave, courageous -
No one's going to believe that.
They will too.
They know we're schizophrenic. Also crazy, insane, and any other synonyms. We have the attention span of a goldfish with ADHD, and see no wrong in brutally slicing people end to end.
You forgot the addiction to chimichangas.
That too. Also, I'm pretty sure there's a personality who came from that whole 'Marvel Zombies' crossover arc.
BRAAAAINS.
There he is.
Village Info.
Village of Birth: Unknown
Village of Alliance: Sunagakure
Noble, chivalrous, suave, courageous -
No one's going to believe that.
They will too.
They know we're schizophrenic. Also crazy, insane, and any other synonyms. We have the attention span of a goldfish with ADHD, and see no wrong in brutally slicing people end to end.
You forgot the addiction to chimichangas.
That too. Also, I'm pretty sure there's a personality who came from that whole 'Marvel Zombies' crossover arc.
BRAAAAINS.
There he is.
Village Info.
Village of Birth: Unknown
Village of Alliance: Sunagakure
Rank//Chakra Info.
Ninja Rank: Official Sage
Specialty:
Saving the world from tentacle-faced demons.
I think they need something more specific.
Well, we kick ass with a sword or any weapons. Also we like screwing with people's heads with Genjutsu.
That's a good point. We can do Genjutsu with one handseal.
Also we learnt Hydra's "Running and Hiding 101" from Bob.
More important is our freaky immortality from that Jashin experiment.
Elements: Fire || Water || Wind || Earth || Lightning || Sound || Gel || Violet Flame || Cloud || Quake
Your ninjutsu:
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Background Info.
History:
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KidPool
How did we survive the Kaguya massacre again ?
Due to some retarded Deus ex Machina device.
I don't think our readers will like that.
Well, every other Kaguya on the base has taken everything else, from being lost in the woods to freak timetravel accident. Admitting its deus ex machina is more manly.
BRAAAAINS.
Hey, I just had a thought. If we're the last of our kind, shouldn't we be flying around the universe, underpants visible and with a big S on our chest, with hot reporters in the mix ?
This is why you shouldn't think.
UnDeadPool
So, to continue our story, we were just walking around, minding our own business, when we were kidnapped by a madman named Killebrew.Not our proudest moment.
Hey, stabbing someone when they're on the toilet is not fair ! In any case, the man was an adherent of a supposed deity who took BDSM to extremes-
Language. There are kids on this site too, you know.
The man was an adherent of a supposed deity who liked his followers stabbing themselves for his pleasure.
And then we got turned into one of them.
BUT THEN WE BLEW OFF HIS HEAD AND MADE COFFEE IN HIS SKULL.
MercPool
After that came the Kirigakure Civil War, or as I call it, Super-happy-fun-kill-time.The war between the rebels, led by Mei Terumi-
Man was she hot. I have a picture. If we could just reach down right now and -
Whoa, whoa. Anyway. Mei Terumi, and the government of Yagura. The government was ruthless, killing innocent civilians and slaughtering the children of rebels. The rebels were a heroic bunch, fighting against oppression and striving for a safer world for their children.
Which they finally got once they captured us and locked us up.
That...sounds wrong.
What ? No no no, I mean since we were the one killing their kids anyway.
Ah. Yes.
And then Mei turned us into fighting for her, and we beat up some guards so that we could kill the Kage. Sadly, we got distracted.
I told you we shouldn't have drunk eighty cans of Iwa Beer before the battle.
I know, I know. The stupid government didn't even label their bathrooms clearly. I still have a mark from where that one chick hit me with a salvo of exploding tags.
MessiahPool
After that, this hot chick in spandex told us we were a Messiah...how can you turn down an opening line like that ?We were tasked with killing this man, who they called "Madara" who wanted to spread true peace in the world...by brainwashing everyone.
We couldn't let that happen could we ? That would mean he would make us think that old hag of a Hokage was hotter than Bea Arthur ! Neverrrrrrrrrrrrr !
So we went to his super secret villain lair...
*insert suspenseful music here*
...and only found a walking lollipop named Tobi. Another failure.
Still, at least we kept the money.
We didn't get any money.
What ? Why did we do the job then ?
Because you thought the chick was interested in us.
Was she ?
No.
Aw man !
Now watch as we seamlessly segue into this advertisement. Your normal program will return shortly.
Advertisement
MERCENARY FOR HIRE
Need goons gunned down ? Henchmen hunted ? Lackeys lobotomized ? Meatshields massacred ? Cronies castrated ? Accessories axed ? Partners pulverised ? Flunkies finished ? Sycophants sliced ? Dogs walked ?
Call 1-800-DEADPOOL, that's 1-800-DEADPOOL.
Rates negotiable. Payment can be made in Dollars, Ryo, Yen, Pounds Sterling, Yuan, Rupees, Euro, Francs, Cheez Puffs, Chimichangas, or pictures of Bea Arthur.
THIS WEEK SPECIAL: Two evil geniuses (genii?) taken care of for the price of one. Hurry, offer open only for a week.
Need goons gunned down ? Henchmen hunted ? Lackeys lobotomized ? Meatshields massacred ? Cronies castrated ? Accessories axed ? Partners pulverised ? Flunkies finished ? Sycophants sliced ? Dogs walked ?
Call 1-800-DEADPOOL, that's 1-800-DEADPOOL.
Rates negotiable. Payment can be made in Dollars, Ryo, Yen, Pounds Sterling, Yuan, Rupees, Euro, Francs, Cheez Puffs, Chimichangas, or pictures of Bea Arthur.
THIS WEEK SPECIAL: Two evil geniuses (genii?) taken care of for the price of one. Hurry, offer open only for a week.
Other
Think "magic satchel".
Or, Naruto-verse wise, summoning seals on our hands and gloves that allow us to summon non-battle items, such as costumes, fake props, etcetera for added fun.
Like that Marvel Girl costume we had when we joined the Avengers ?!
No, they burned that one.
Picture
What ? You need more pictures ? Haven't you seen enough ? Are you stalkers ?
Stalkers ?
You know, cause if they are, I give out autographs.
Shut up and show them a picture.
I will autograph the following picture to anyone for a trillion dollars...or four point two one eight.
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Theme Song and Background Music:
Battles
Won: LIKE TEN BILLION MILLION !
Lost: None. Zero. That one to Roku doesn't count...neither does that one to Izuna...nor that, nor that, nor that one, so yeah, zero.
____________
-Approved-
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