- Joined
- Nov 29, 2011
- Messages
- 4,191
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We always hear “THE RULES” from the Female side. Now here are “THE RULES” from the Male side... They are now Numbered.
1. Men are NOT mind readers. ...
2. Learn to work the toilet seat, you’re a big Girl, If it’s up, put it down. We need it UP, you need it DOWN, you don’t hear US complaining about you leaving it down.
3. Crying is BLACKMAIL.
4. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints DO NOT work! Strong hints DO NOT work! Obvious hints DO NOT work! JUST SAY IT!
5. YES and NO are perfectly acceptable answers to ALMOST every question.
6. Come to us with a problem ONLY if you want help solving it. That’s what we do, sympathy is what your friends are for.
7. Anything we said 6 Months ago is inadmissible in an Argument. In fact, ALL comments mean f**k all after a week!
8. If you think you are FAT, you probably are... DON’T ASK US!
9. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you angry, we meant the other one.
10. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, NOT BOTH. If you think you already know best how to do it.. just do it yourself..
11. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say when the adverts are on..
12. Men see in only 16 colours. Peach, for example, is a fruit NOT a colour. We have NO idea what MAUVE is..
13. If it itches, it WILL be scratched. We do that...
14. If we ask what is wrong and you say “NOTHING” we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying but it is not worth the hassle..
15. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear...
16. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely ANYTHING you wear will be fine...... REALLY!!
17. You have enough clothes.
18. You have too many pairs of shoes.
19. I am in shape...... ROUND is a shape.
20. Thank you for reading this: Yes... I know I have to sleep on the sofa tonight but did you know that we really don’t mind that? It’s just like camping......
1. Men are NOT mind readers. ...
2. Learn to work the toilet seat, you’re a big Girl, If it’s up, put it down. We need it UP, you need it DOWN, you don’t hear US complaining about you leaving it down.
3. Crying is BLACKMAIL.
4. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints DO NOT work! Strong hints DO NOT work! Obvious hints DO NOT work! JUST SAY IT!
5. YES and NO are perfectly acceptable answers to ALMOST every question.
6. Come to us with a problem ONLY if you want help solving it. That’s what we do, sympathy is what your friends are for.
7. Anything we said 6 Months ago is inadmissible in an Argument. In fact, ALL comments mean f**k all after a week!
8. If you think you are FAT, you probably are... DON’T ASK US!
9. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you angry, we meant the other one.
10. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, NOT BOTH. If you think you already know best how to do it.. just do it yourself..
11. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say when the adverts are on..
12. Men see in only 16 colours. Peach, for example, is a fruit NOT a colour. We have NO idea what MAUVE is..
13. If it itches, it WILL be scratched. We do that...
14. If we ask what is wrong and you say “NOTHING” we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying but it is not worth the hassle..
15. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear...
16. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely ANYTHING you wear will be fine...... REALLY!!
17. You have enough clothes.
18. You have too many pairs of shoes.
19. I am in shape...... ROUND is a shape.
20. Thank you for reading this: Yes... I know I have to sleep on the sofa tonight but did you know that we really don’t mind that? It’s just like camping......
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