I read your question and I won't say what's wright or what to do, as every girl is different
But I'll just tell you what I do and it works for me, hope It'll be helpfull
First of all I'm 20 and live in Europe so the girls may not be like in the us or where you live, but in general they are not too different
I'll tell you how I do it:
First of all I live in a part of a city where everybody who goes do college/university lives. There are tens of thousands of students, and is full of disco, drinking and partying(I'm from europe so we can drink and all the rest at 18).
I'm not gonna lie looks matter, but not exactly the kind of looks you may think:
you don't have to be like brad pit, you just need to:
- work out at a gym and eat healthy(I used to weigh 280punds/127kg and for a year of 6 days a week work-outs I;m now 180p/77kg, so it is possible)
-pick a cool haircut
-shower everyday and use face-cleaning products
-wear nice clothes that most importantly fit you - biggest mistake guys do is wear oversized/baggy clothes, that don;t complement their body
that is as far as you can improve your looks
Confidence is very important, and I mean confidence not cockynes, there's a big difference.
I mean most girls don't like timid, weak, *****-like guys.
We are men, and girls want men.
as for what you said about being "blunt" that is entirely true!
picture the usual scenario: you talk to a girl and keep things i a friendly manner even if you ask her out, she still doesn;t know if you:
want her as just friends or something more (lovers, etc).
And you'll most of the times go in the "lets just be friends" zone
that's why you must make your intentions clear from the get go:
but not to obvious. you don;t just go to a girl and say lets ****!
just in the beginning give a compliment. The thing to remember with compliments is that it was to be honest and not some pick up line. Girls know when you're not honest. And it has to be specific.
Like instead of telling her she;s pretty/beautiful, you can say that: you like the way she styled her hair; the way she dresses; that the dress/jeans and T-shirt, look on her, etc.
I usually don't tell girls that they are beautiful at the start, she's heard it all before and it isn't all that original, You can say her hair/clothes/shoes are beautiful though.
And the other thing is that you have to move fast. There are sooo many guys that go on 5-6 dates and then go for a kiss or wait 2 months to make a sexual move. This way you set yourself as a friend no a lover.
My general rule is that I go for the kiss on the first date, if both of us like each other and are going to see each other on another date. And make a sexual move on the 2-3 date. Doesn't mater if you have *** or not but she has to know you're not just a friend.
The big secret is, it is a numbers game: If you approach 1 girl per year and she rejects you, you're screwed. But if you talk to 5 girls or even 1 per day, there'll be at least a couple of girls that don't reject you every week.
How to ask a girl out:
And a little advice never use the word "date" when you ask a girl out.
Use words like "go out" "hang out", etc.
Second don't just say: lets go out. its puts the girl a little on the spot, usually I'll let sth slip in our conversation, like we start talking about music, and I mention a cool band that's about to play somewhere talk a bit about that and say: you know what, it's gonna be fun if we go see them, lets do it
And it has to be spontaneous like if I approach a girl in the gym/at yoga class/swimming class/climbing, etc I'll say something in the conversation how she must be starving and propose we go get something to eat, like subway, or some other place with fast food to go, and just hang out and talk and set your self up for a real date at night.
For a first date I don't recommend the cinema or a coffee shop, just cause if you don't have experience It'll be awkward if you don't have sth interesting to say.
So for a first date I recommend you do sth fun that you usually like doing:
-go play some pool
-go bowling
-go see a good band if there's one playing nearby
-go ice skating
-go to a gallery
or whatever you can think of where, both of you are going to have fun and do some fun activity that takes the pressure off of the interaction
It depends from girl to girl: one might prefer the ice skating, another karaoke, or sht else. It your job to find out what you'll both enjoy.
And just be chill don't like plan out a date with every single detail planned, just go with the flow, but have a general idea what you're going to do, just know where you;re going and what activity you're going to enjoy
As for the date it self, most important is not being nervous and to progress. As I said if you see that you like each other and that she wants to kiss you - go for it on the first date.
I also usually take the girl back to my place so we can kiss and other stuff in private.
And if you do remember to be smooth and chill about it. don;t over think it, usually I'll use sth from out conversations like:
If the girl likes music and has said she'd like to hear me play the piano, when I want to take her back to my place, I'll say sth like: it's getting boring here, lets go to my place and you can listen to me playing the piano.
I can be sth with art, a new game/movie/ music album/ or pool table/ fusball table/ darts/ what ever you can think of.
You just need and excuse as to why you're going there, so the girl doesn't worry that you ask her to go have *** and that if she said yes it'll mean she's easy.
And if you're gonna take a girl home make sure:
- it's clean and tidy and smells nice (no girl is turned on by a mess, and dirty floor or bathroom, and dirty dishes in the sink)
- it's warm, you know that girls get cold easier that us and don;t like being cold
- you have some music to play in the background so it's not a silence
- I have dimmer switches - they do help to set the mood
- I'm lucky enough not to live with a room mate, but if you have make sure he/she/they are out or in another room and won't bother you
- YOU HAVE CONDOMS!!! you may not think you'll have *** but if you end up doing it and you don't have condoms you're screwed and it;s over
And I use a little trick in the winter, I don't turn the AC in the living room, so it is really cold and I tell the girl that the AC broke the day before and that it's freezing in there, so we go the bedroom without her feeling nervous, we sit on the bed and chill for like 10-15 minutes listen to music, talk and then start kissing and usually have ***.
I must say that I don't believe and don't like the one night stand, so if I sleep with a girl it;s not just me using her.
I believe that you must give the girl the most pleasure you can, and make it a good experience for both of you.
Just remember after you're done to hug her and talk a bit before you fall asleep.
In the morning kiss her and go for morning ***. It's better than night ***: you have more energy, you feel better, the girl feels better. When you;re done take a shower together and make breakfast.
Either spend some more time together or if you or she are busy, walk her to her home tell her you must go out together soon kiss her and be on your way.
5-6-7 hours later text her that it was great and you had fun and can't wait to go out again.
Then you make plans to see each other again and I'll leave the rest to you
