Wanted: Chapter four: Suggestions

[Savior..]

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Last Chapters: One:

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Two:

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Three:

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Ive thought of some things to put into chapter four but i want to make it a long chapter so, if you have a minute read over the three chapters and post some suggestions for chapter four, dont post off topic suggestions please.

Also if you want do be in the FF send me a message with your characters name, element, personality, history. Kind of like a bio.

Chapter four will be out soon.

*COMMENT*

 

[Xentinel]

Hmm, a suggestion? Okay I can give you some of the idea. First of all, I want to point out the thing that you made mistake, or the thing that you messed up in your previous chapter. But it is juts my suggestion

1) In your previous chapter, the story is okay. There is nothing wrong about it. In fact, you made them awesome Just that, I realized you making in such a hurry, or like kinda rushing. What I suggest, don't making it in straight forward and also use more time to describe the action or the thing that happened in a particular situation. Like for example, you have a narrator right? But his line is short, so expand it But just a suggestion for me to make it more awesome!

2) Secondly, about the idea for chapter 4. The previous 3 is still not develop, the plot of the story is still haven't shown. So you don't need to worry about your chapter 4 You can make it awesome, you don't need to be linked with your previous one. So it's okay if you making it a refresh one.

What I suggest, introduce more characters. The characters don't have to be the main one. Or it can be also a antagonist one or maybe also a protagonist. I leave it to you For the chacter, try to make the storyline...so that we as a reader can see, that the story is getting develop and improving! So be creative, your story you decide how its goes and how its end

3) Just for added, it is my own personal suggestion. Im also a fanfic writer too, and my fanfic is a dialogued version...just like yours. So just to suggest, for me it is better if you leave space (at lease one space) between each of your character speech. So it looks neat, and making the reader easier to read Don't worry about the length, even if your chapter is long just because of the spaces...I as a reader will love to read it!

Ps: Also, I really don't like my colors...I will be happy if you make my colors more darker, probably red is okay ;D

So don't give up! I can't wait for your ch 4! xdxd