"Utopic Monkeys" - Chapter 9.. **** Liquor - Open till Dawn

[Lawliet]

That is quite enough. You people better stay to the topic of this fanfic and nothing else unless you want me to close this thread.

@ Jack Dante; i don't edit posts unless they break forum rules or if they are reported.

 

[Lawliet]

Cleaned and opened.
Stay on topic. This is the first and last warning to everyone.

 

[Deidara Sempai]

Even if Lawliet is spamming i don't want this Fanfiction closed again as it's too good.
All the other matters will be solved with Rei.

On topic: Kenshin how much chapters this wonder will have?

 

[John Constantine]

Even if Lawliet is spamming i don't want this Fanfiction closed again as it's too good.
All the other matters will be solved with Rei.

On topic: Kenshin how much chapters this wonder will have?

Lawliet is only doing her job and i don't want to talk about her.

I don't know really as of now, this seems like the first "Mature Orientated" Fanfiction here in Narutobase is up to the Administrators if they let me continue further or not.
Plus i think Nexus mentioned that all my chapters have to be revised and approved for either Lawliet or Caliburn from now on but most likely Lawliet.​

 

[Sharingan Kakashi]

WOW
Best thing i ever read on this section. Everything is so well writen.
From what i understand Lawliet want to ban Kenshin, i just hope she re-thinks it as it will be a shame that he can't contest having the best Fanfiction.
This is a jewel in the making.

 

[Sharingan Kakashi]

Re: "Utopic Monkeys" - Chapter 9.. The Infamous Chapter that was banned by the Forums

all over and gone? -_- yeah, right and thats why you just talked about it and boosted your ego :|

btw, i don't see what the fuss is about. Its just talk, descritpion, talk...etc..and both poor :/

U_U

 

[John Constantine]

WOW
Best thing i ever read on this section. Everything is so well writen.
From what i understand Lawliet want to ban Kenshin, i just hope she re-thinks it as it will be a shame that he can't contest having the best Fanfiction.
This is a jewel in the making.

Don't talk about her. This is my Fanfiction and not her's. If you guys keep on the subject she'll just close the thread to piss you guys all off.
We don't want that do we?
Thanks for the compliments.
I have been talking with Rei which is very nice unlike others and the outcome is yet to be decided.​

 

[-Mugen-]

Good chapterO.O

 

[Sharingan Kakashi]

Good chapterO.O

Awesome
If he says the next one will be even more violent. I can't wait.

 

[Kiona]

...Wow! That?s nice! ^^

 

[Michael92]

Only the envirnment of the bar is based on "From Dusk Till Dawn", i mentioned that before. As Robert Rodriguez is one of my favourite directors and scricpters and i wanted to make a type of an homage.
More homages will be made.​

Well, what about:" we can finally eat" or something? and then they introduce the dancer?
Only next time will tell. And even if some of it is taken from there, i don`t care, because this rock!

Also. You asked me to write a jucie post, and only commented the "edit" thing and the messed up thing with double content.? What`s up with thatxd
There was still more there to commentU_U

Anyway. Kenshin is right. Even if you have right to have your opinions, i suggest you keep them for yourself. Lawliet has her reasons, so stop flaming her already.
I don`t want to wait a f*cking week to a month for the next chapter just because you got this thread closed and the all "discussion about he can continue or not" thing started over again.

Just be happy that he`s allowed to continue, and as i said. This is pretty much the same chapter as the trashed one, except for censoring, other names, and "better"(can be discussed) gramma.
So you have nothing to complain about.
And the thing with Kenshin being banned from FanFiction of the month is between him, Lawliet, Nexus and Rei only, so don`t try to provoke or start name-calling. It will only make it worse.
Now lets all stay on topic and avoid getting this thread closed/trashed because of some angry fans. None of us wants that.

Not only am I as a fellow fan asking you to do this, but also Kenshin the author of this FanFiction.

Thanks.​

 

[John Constantine]

Well, what about:" we can finally eat" or something? and then they introduce the dancer?
Only next time will tell. And even if some of it is taken from there, i don`t care, because this rock!

Also. You asked me to write a jucie post, and only commented the "edit" thing and the messed up thing with double content.? What`s up with thatxd
There was still more there to commentU_U

Anyway. Kenshin is right. Even if you have right to have your opinions, i suggest you keep them for yourself. Lawliet has her reasons, so stop flaming her already.
I don`t want to wait a f*cking week to a month for the next chapter just because you got this thread closed and the all "discussion about he can continue or not" thing started over again.

Just be happy that he`s allowed to continue, and as i said. This is pretty much the same chapter as the trashed one, except for censoring, other names, and "better"(can be discussed) gramma.
So you have nothing to complain about.
And the thing with Kenshin being banned from FanFiction of the month is between him, Lawliet, Nexus and Rei only, so don`t try to provoke or start name-calling. It will only make it worse.
Now lets all stay on topic and avoid getting this thread closed/trashed because of some angry fans. None of us wants that.

Not only am I as a fellow fan asking you to do this, but also Kenshin the author of this FanFiction.

Thanks.​

Thanks, i have been saying this since the first page.
She's just doing her job, if you think she's being unfair with me and threating me differentely discuss with her throught VM,PM or contact an Administrator as that's what it's advised in this type of issues.​

 

[Shunsui]

Himura maybe its time u show us how ur charecters look?:T_T:

 

[Michael92]

Himura maybe its time u show us how ur charecters look?:T_T:

Yes i agree. You`ve been holding them up long enought don`t you think?xd

Also, when is the next chapter sceduled?

 

[Sin]

Re: "Utopic Monkeys" - Chapter 9.. The Infamous Chapter that was banned by the Forums

To be honest it's not the best I have read,

People don't boast as this isn't going to be the best for some,

I know I might seem rude, but it's my honest opinion.

It's all talky talky.. not much great action.. (if you point out other chapters with action you'd not understand)

I find action in better like when you write in paragraphs the details are better spread,

I suggest with action chapters you add in paragraphs (like what i do in my fanfic.. >.> which I don't think you read exactly.. ?)

Then I might start reading, even though these chapters might contain swearing and I'm under 17 I know fanfiction is better with this.

This chapter is good, just not right in my opinnion

and just for one little thing: Saying your better than the few of the best people in this section like Flaw, Roku or Riku, it's not that true as they all have different writing styles in a way to yours. Just not trying to be rude

Hopefully you'll consider my thoughts...

Sorry if I seemed a bit rude, I try not to be..

Keep writing.. and you'll become even better and close to other writers like those I mentioned.

 

[John Constantine]

Re: "Utopic Monkeys" - Chapter 9.. The Infamous Chapter that was banned by the Forums

To be honest it's not the best I have read,

People don't boast as this isn't going to be the best for some,

I know I might seem rude, but it's my honest opinion.

It's all talky talky.. not much great action.. (if you point out other chapters with action you'd not understand)

I find action in better like when you write in paragraphs the details are better spread,

I suggest with action chapters you add in paragraphs (like what i do in my fanfic.. >.> which I don't think you read exactly.. ?)

Then I might start reading, even though these chapters might contain swearing and I'm under 17 I know fanfiction is better with this.

This chapter is good, just not right in my opinnion

and just for one little thing: Saying your better than the few of the best people in this section like Flaw, Roku or Riku, it's not that true as they all have different writing styles in a way to yours. Just not trying to be rude

Hopefully you'll consider my thoughts...

Sorry if I seemed a bit rude, I try not to be..

Keep writing.. and you'll become even better and close to other writers like those I mentioned.

Not rude at all but you have to understand something. You read this chapter alone and this is a build-up chapter. I can't put fight in every chapter as that's the thing that does not make sense.
I tell a story, i do not make UFC commentary LOL
Obviously you didn't understand some of it because you didn't read the previous chapters (4 of them were strictly fighting).

I ask you one thing, does every chapter of Naruto is all fighting?

I have to develop plots, characters, environments, scenarios, pretty much everything.
And that takes time and i can't fit everything in the same chapter.

Also this is a more advanced way of writing since you might not know yet because you are still young and probably talented but i'm writing 100% the right way because i'm writing in "Script Format" and not in the standard way that most write here.

Also, i was not the one who said that were better than Roku and Riku. That was a fan of mine.
I can say for a fact that Riku is very talented and Roku is a good writer despite his fanfiction lacking imagination.
Riku impresses me because he's so young and yet he does amazing descriptions.

One thing i can say for a fact that i'm the most creative. I'm creating something from scratch. Not using Naruto elements, nothing, a total new world.

I was not offended but before you point out negative things to my Fanfiction you must first read all the chapters. You probably don't even know that this is in a destroyed future.

And no i did not read your Fanfiction,yet but i might give it a try.

I started reading Riku's

Teh Tobz Kakashi chronicles

iemo teens for life

Started reading the one from Roku but stopped right away.

Sorry to say so but i can't become close to them as i'm actually better then them. Don't take it the wrong way but the feedback just shows it​

 

[Sin]

Re: "Utopic Monkeys" - Chapter 9.. The Infamous Chapter that was banned by the Forums

I will try to read the other chapters, as I know,

I know you had to develop as well but it can be developed in more exciting ways too,

Thanks for understanding and I will now go and try to read the other chapters.

 

[~Nemesis~]

Great

 

[John Constantine]

Re: "Utopic Monkeys" - Chapter 9.. The Infamous Chapter that was banned by the Forums

I will try to read the other chapters, as I know,

I know you had to develop as well but it can be developed in more exciting ways too,

Thanks for understanding and I will now go and try to read the other chapters.

I Just private message you. Actually an error of your part to read a chapter alone and take assumptions from there.
I have to develop them slowly as this FF if it's allowed by the mods will have more than 150 chapters.

You asked me to add you as a friend but i don't see the option on your profile,mate and sorry if i sounded cocky but everybody knows i'm that way.
My brother already explained that i was the best Basketball player of my state in my youth and one of the best in my country so i think that molded my personality this way. I'm learning about myself now that i study Psychology on Faculty lol ​

 

[Since yesterday]

Re: "Utopic Monkeys" - Chapter 9.. The Infamous Chapter that was banned by the Forums

Keep writing.. and you'll become even better and close to other writers like those I mentioned.

Amazing, you would want an all-out brawl with no development every chapter?
And you jump at him after reading an isolated chapter?

And i have to laugh at what i quoted i'm an editor and read almost all the Fanfictions in this place and i can tell you this guy is by far the best.
You just not giving him his duo respect because he's a newcomer and success like the one he has had in such short amount of time bothers the others.

I actually want to read your Fanfiction because as i told you i'm an editor in a magazine.