useless advice

[legarcon]

I know sometimes people mean well but i kinda hate it when people tell me i need to be more outgoing(cos i'm shy), i mean they´re stating the obvious, it´s like saying to someone poor that he needs money or to a guy solving an equation he needs to find the value of the x, of course the poorguy knows he needs money and the guy solving the equation knows he has to find the value of the x, what they do not know is HOW to get the money or the value of the x.

The same can apply for shy people, you cannot just say "you need to be more outgoing" and expect the guy to become outgoing guy, the shy guy is not outgoing because he doesnt know how to be outgoing, they do know what they want but they dont know how to go about it, so stating the obvious doesnt help.
Again i know people sometimes mean well with this sort of advice but in the end is useless.

 

[~Ethereal~]

Lol, I was thinking you would talk about Sakura. I am not outgoing at all, I always crease up while doing presentations.

 

[Sakura Michiko]

I hate when people do stuff like that. It's like when someone say"grow a pair and just do it" it's annoying because it's like some of these people don't even consider your situation and assume it's "easy to deal with" especially those that never had the problem. First do you really want to be outgoing because you sound like an introvert and nothing is wrong with that.You have to determine what you want. Than if you decide you want to be more outgoing you probably shouldn't do anything overwhelming like for example hang out with a hung crowd of people or people who don't have anything in common with you because you would probably get nervous or something. You should start with a few( like maybe 2 or 3) of your friends if you have some and just hang out with them. Plan to go to places you like that wouldn't overwhelm you or be to much for you at that moment. Than if you feel more comfortable after that hang out with more friends or even try to make friends with a few people at a time. Also you have to believe in yourself and try not to put yourself down about being outgoing. Good luck! I am ambivert( introverted and extrovert).

 

[Angelic.]

another shy thread lega kun? i know what thats like. and im shy too. someone says get a job but i cant where i live. its annoying.

 

[Sean Connery]

I don't know who to even trust anymore

 

[Ryóma]

True. And I hate it when you get yourself into trouble just for being an introvert.

 

[Abysmal.]

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[Kishi Uzumaki]

I know the feeling but i wasn't shy just been a extreme introvert and used to ignore people that say you must go out till i understood it can be useful to acquire some skills in that arena and begin experiment on that . now days I've acquired enough skills but not tend to use them unless I'm really interested or compelled to though one may be able to give you advise about how to be outgoing sometimes that doesn't work, you've to find your own ways and you may offend people and they may misunderstand you but experience make you better, for last i would say be outgoing if you really want to and forcing it will stressing .

 

[Cornson]

I know sometimes people mean well but i kinda hate it when people tell me i need to be more outgoing(cos i'm shy), i mean they´re stating the obvious, it´s like saying to someone poor that he needs money or to a guy solving an equation he needs to find the value of the x, of course the poorguy knows he needs money and the guy solving the equation knows he has to find the value of the x, what they do not know is HOW to get the money or the value of the x.

The same can apply for shy people, you cannot just say "you need to be more outgoing" and expect the guy to become outgoing guy, the shy guy is not outgoing because he doesnt know how to be outgoing, they do know what they want but they dont know how to go about it, so stating the obvious doesnt help.
Again i know people sometimes mean well with this sort of advice but in the end is useless.

People come with useless advices all the time, and they really feal really good about giving them, like I just did you/person X a awesome advice, I am such a awesome person!

where the person who had just gotten the advise would be like: Did that tosser really believe I had never heard that useless advise before? what a ****...

I have been told sins forever that I need more confidence in myself (which is true I admit) but it's litterly not something that is super easy to get, when you had abusive father (no sexual just, being a ****, mentally, I never did anything that was good enough no matter what it was, I also have a learning disability and im dyslexic so I had a really hard time learning to read and write, and do to that my dad would some time yell (litterly yell) me right in to the fact that I simply cuden't fathom how I can't do "this" or learn "that") also being bullied in school did help either, also being shorter than the average havn't help either... Also, I don't excell at anything, and I mean anything there have never been anything I was good at, ever, I might have been average at a few things but I was never really good at something, and it's the same way in real life, I have found no work I'm good at...)

So yes I need to be more confident In my self (but how do you do that when you have nothing you feel your good at, and never had that feeling in the first place?)