Obito is actually one of the most complex characters in the manga. Hear me out. Tobirama notes that once Uchiha know love and then lose it it hits them way way harder than a normal person and causes a chemical reaction that activates their dojutsu. Uchihas love harder than normal people as well, explaining Obito's fixation with Rin, and losing that hit him harder than a normal person would causing him to go berserk and give up his hopeful personality. But there's more to him than just that and we see this throughout the war arc, Obito is very much a self aware person and he KNOWS how ridiculous it would be to start a war because of Rin and he didn't. After his meltdown of frustration and emotion because of Rin's death he wasn't completely sure of what he was doing, he constantly sought to reassure himself that there was no hope and the world was a hell that held no salvation. This is why he was so brutal as Tobi and orchestrated things like the Bloody Mist, he wanted to drive people against each other to pacify his underlying resentment of what he had become and his uncertainty about the path he took, he strove to prove to himself that indeed there was NO hope and he was correct in trying to destroy the world.
During the war arc he is finally unmasked, which poses a huge mental problem from him as he had discarded his previous identity and dreams in order to pursue his new goal of doing away with reality, which he had proven to himself as Tobi as being the only correct way. Naruto reminds him of himself as a hopeful kid, even when faced with overwhelming stress and emotional trauma he sticks to his ninja way and doesn't waver in his beliefs. Deep down Obito knows his path is wrong and that those pessimistic beliefs were held only by the alternate identity he created while masked, but he is unwilling to accept this, and still tries to prove to himself that he isn't wrong and there is no hope and thus tries to crush Naruto mentally.
Before being unmasked, Rin was an afterthought, she resurfaced to his conscience when Kakashi asked him why he became like this. He answers, "perhaps because you let Rin die" as if it was some distant detail he can't really recall, but later he tells Kakashi, "if you think this war is about Rin you couldn't be further from the truth". Rin was his light as a child, and losing her made him lose hope in his dreams, but after becoming Tobi her memory was pushed to the back of his mind as he pursued his goal and manipulated others, while proving to himself through manipulation again and again that the world was hell. He tells this to Kakashi after being defeated as Juubito.
In fact, his desperation to hold onto his twisted ideals goes so far that at the end he completely abandons the IT plan and tries to destroy the entire world, he is in complete and utter denial at this point, and all Naruto had to do then was force him to accept that he wanted what Naruto wanted all along, it's just that he lost hope and was manipulated by Madara to go down a dark path. Obito is in essence a dark Naruto, who's love and appreciation for his friends drives him to aspire towards his dreams. In Obito's case, the loss of a friend is what drove him to abandon his dreams and attempt to escape reality with everyone into Madara's promised perfect world. While Rin did embed herself into his psych deeply as she was his first love and his first loss, and what originally made him hate that world, there's so much more to him. He would agree that starting a war over a little girl is preposterous, he is self aware and intelligent, and that's why he sought to prove further that the case with Rin applied to the rest of the world which he did as Tobi. The Joker does the same in The Dark Knight when he attempts to prove that people cannot trust each other and forgive each other, in the Killing Joke just one bad day causes the Joker to lose his mind, for Obito one bad day made him choose to rebel anonymously, but he continued to prove to himself that he was correct, until Naruto showed his tactics did not work on him.
He did desire to escape into the dream world, and as we discover he wanted to be with Rin, Kakashi, and Minato in a perfect happy family, which could go back to his roots being a socially awkward orphan. This was mostly subliminal however, as he was insistent that it was about saving the world and not selfish reasons, until he really started facing himself in the mirror when Naruto tells him to stop lying to himself. But his mentality was filled with conflicting ideas and thoughts just like a person in reality, in no way was he a straight forward character. So yes Rin's demise originally showed him how cruel reality could be, but after creating a persona based off Madara's ideals he continued to prove to himself through his manipulation of the world that people were hopeless and the world was hell. He warped his own mentality until he became something entirely different, and in the war arc we see him facing the reality of his delusion, the original reasons for his change resurfacing in his mind, and his alter ego shattering until Obito finally accepts that he was only lying to himself because he really does want to believe in hope. You can't quit drinking until you admit you have an addiction, it's the same concept. At some point, Obito just wanted to be right because he lived so long holding onto those pessimistic beliefs, even if he didn't really believe them anymore. That's why he was gonna destroy the world instead of "save" it in his final stand as Juubito, he didn't know what to think anymore.
During the war arc he is finally unmasked, which poses a huge mental problem from him as he had discarded his previous identity and dreams in order to pursue his new goal of doing away with reality, which he had proven to himself as Tobi as being the only correct way. Naruto reminds him of himself as a hopeful kid, even when faced with overwhelming stress and emotional trauma he sticks to his ninja way and doesn't waver in his beliefs. Deep down Obito knows his path is wrong and that those pessimistic beliefs were held only by the alternate identity he created while masked, but he is unwilling to accept this, and still tries to prove to himself that he isn't wrong and there is no hope and thus tries to crush Naruto mentally.
Before being unmasked, Rin was an afterthought, she resurfaced to his conscience when Kakashi asked him why he became like this. He answers, "perhaps because you let Rin die" as if it was some distant detail he can't really recall, but later he tells Kakashi, "if you think this war is about Rin you couldn't be further from the truth". Rin was his light as a child, and losing her made him lose hope in his dreams, but after becoming Tobi her memory was pushed to the back of his mind as he pursued his goal and manipulated others, while proving to himself through manipulation again and again that the world was hell. He tells this to Kakashi after being defeated as Juubito.
In fact, his desperation to hold onto his twisted ideals goes so far that at the end he completely abandons the IT plan and tries to destroy the entire world, he is in complete and utter denial at this point, and all Naruto had to do then was force him to accept that he wanted what Naruto wanted all along, it's just that he lost hope and was manipulated by Madara to go down a dark path. Obito is in essence a dark Naruto, who's love and appreciation for his friends drives him to aspire towards his dreams. In Obito's case, the loss of a friend is what drove him to abandon his dreams and attempt to escape reality with everyone into Madara's promised perfect world. While Rin did embed herself into his psych deeply as she was his first love and his first loss, and what originally made him hate that world, there's so much more to him. He would agree that starting a war over a little girl is preposterous, he is self aware and intelligent, and that's why he sought to prove further that the case with Rin applied to the rest of the world which he did as Tobi. The Joker does the same in The Dark Knight when he attempts to prove that people cannot trust each other and forgive each other, in the Killing Joke just one bad day causes the Joker to lose his mind, for Obito one bad day made him choose to rebel anonymously, but he continued to prove to himself that he was correct, until Naruto showed his tactics did not work on him.
He did desire to escape into the dream world, and as we discover he wanted to be with Rin, Kakashi, and Minato in a perfect happy family, which could go back to his roots being a socially awkward orphan. This was mostly subliminal however, as he was insistent that it was about saving the world and not selfish reasons, until he really started facing himself in the mirror when Naruto tells him to stop lying to himself. But his mentality was filled with conflicting ideas and thoughts just like a person in reality, in no way was he a straight forward character. So yes Rin's demise originally showed him how cruel reality could be, but after creating a persona based off Madara's ideals he continued to prove to himself through his manipulation of the world that people were hopeless and the world was hell. He warped his own mentality until he became something entirely different, and in the war arc we see him facing the reality of his delusion, the original reasons for his change resurfacing in his mind, and his alter ego shattering until Obito finally accepts that he was only lying to himself because he really does want to believe in hope. You can't quit drinking until you admit you have an addiction, it's the same concept. At some point, Obito just wanted to be right because he lived so long holding onto those pessimistic beliefs, even if he didn't really believe them anymore. That's why he was gonna destroy the world instead of "save" it in his final stand as Juubito, he didn't know what to think anymore.
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