Trilogy of Haiku

Ryóma

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Calm on the surface
Deep and powerful under
Runs freely downstream
___________________________

Soaring in the sky
Wings outlined in the sunlight
Swiftly without sound
___________________________

Giving off much heat
Uncontrollable fire
Quenched down with coldness​


If anyone can pick it up, these contain two meanings. They are not black and white.
 
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Ryóma

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Wings Out Lined. Three syllables.
Un Con Troll Ab Le Fire. Six Syllables.

You loose.
My bad. For some reason I forgot to type up the rest of that sentence... I'll edit it right now.
As for the words 'uncontrollable fire' I see them as 7 syllables. I'm assuming you made fire one syllable but the way I pronounce the, it is two.

I guess you could say that each Haiku possesses it's own black and white.

I liked these Haiku, a nice change.
Thank you.
 

Mis

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Calm on the surface
Deep and powerful under
Runs freely downstream
___________________________

Soaring in the sky
Wings outlined in the sunlight
Swiftly without sound
___________________________

Giving off much heat
Uncontrollable fire
Quenched down with coldness​


If anyone can pick it up, these contain two meanings. They are not black and white.
Geez, I wasn't expecting you guys to be this good. :O
Please write more~~

And don't worry, in that challenge thread I did say that rule isn't much used nowadays.
 

Ryóma

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First one is about a river second could be clouds or a eagle third no idea .
Well yeah, if you take it for the literal meanings, then you got the first and second ones correct, though the second refers to any bird. The third would be a fire.

But the deeper meanings of these poems all involve emotions. The first is about a persons strong emotions. They may seem emotionless on the outside, but on the inside, they have much emotions which are very powerful.
The second one symbolizes freedom, just like the birds.
And the last one describes anger in a person.

Geez, I wasn't expecting you guys to be this good. :O
Please write more~~

And don't worry, in that challenge thread I did say that rule isn't much used nowadays.
Thank you.
 

Kishi Uzumaki

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Well yeah, if you take it for the literal meanings, then you got the first and second ones correct, though the second refers to any bird. The third would be a fire.

But the deeper meanings of these poems all involve emotions. The first is about a persons strong emotions. They may seem emotionless on the outside, but on the inside, they have much emotions which are very powerful.
The second one symbolizes freedom, just like the birds.
And the last one describes anger in a person.
I got the both literal and deeper meaning in the first one and thought second is Eagle because it's a bird that flies very high in the sky though didn't understood the deeper meaning in it and i think you should write more like these haiku's :)
 
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