This is my first ever fanfic so please give me your positive and negative feedback because i need to get better.
It is a dark, cold night that will go down in history. Kumogakure has just lost their beloved 4th raikage and is going through pandemonium. During all of this chaos, once friendly villages go cold and end up turning on Kumogakure. Kumogakure is currently standing on its last wave of ninjas and is about to be destroyed by Iwagakure.
Darui: We need to get out of here bee. The village is safe.
Bee: it ain’t any fun to run son. We need to protect the village from being pillaged.
Darui: Well then. Here they come.
BOOM!
The gates of Kumogakure come crashing down and Iwagakure ninja come rushing in.
Bee: Sorry Darui.
Darui: For what?
Bee: Lariat!
After Darui gets knocked out Bee takes him underground to hide him.
Bee: Kumogakure will live on. You need to be the leader yo. I’ll take these clowns down son. Bye.
Bee then goes outside and defends the village to his full extent. He takes out 70% of the enemy’s forces but cannot take them on any longer because even a jinchūriki’s chakra does not last forever. When Bee finally gets down to his last strands of chakra he gets captured and Iwagakure prepares to hang him.
Bee: let….me….go.
Just then a kunai goes flying towards the rope and cuts it, freeing Bee.
General of Iwagakure’s Army: Who did that!
???: That would be me.
General of Iwagakure’s Army: And who would you be.
???: Most people know me as konoha’s yellow flash and the fourth hokage but you can call me Minato or your doom.
General of Iwagakure’s Army: Get him!
Just then there is a flash of light and Minato is gone.
Minato: (Minato whispers into the general’s ear with a kunai to his neck) Tell them to drop their weapons.
General Of Iwagakure’s Army: Drop your weapons!
After the order the army drops their weapons and stand there idle.
Iwagakure Ninja: Water Style: Hard Water Spike!
???: Dad watch out!
Bee: Lariat!
Bee Hits the Iwagakure ninja with the lariat and then faints and falls hard onto the ground.
Minato: Naruto guard Bee.
Then within an instant and a flash of yellow light Naruto is guarding Bee’s body. After this show the army goes wild with Fury.
Iwagakure ninja: Water Style: Hard Water Spike!
Minato: Naruto watch out!
Naruto: Wha…AHHHHHHHH!
Minato:NARUTOOOO!
Naruto’s been hit and his body is beginning to turn red, but his body is not becoming red because of blood, he is becoming shrouded in the Demon Fox Cloak!
Enough positive feedback and i will write another chapter.Please rep if you like it.
The Tale of the Flying Thunder Gods
Chapter 1
Chapter 1
It is a dark, cold night that will go down in history. Kumogakure has just lost their beloved 4th raikage and is going through pandemonium. During all of this chaos, once friendly villages go cold and end up turning on Kumogakure. Kumogakure is currently standing on its last wave of ninjas and is about to be destroyed by Iwagakure.
Darui: We need to get out of here bee. The village is safe.
Bee: it ain’t any fun to run son. We need to protect the village from being pillaged.
Darui: Well then. Here they come.
BOOM!
The gates of Kumogakure come crashing down and Iwagakure ninja come rushing in.
Bee: Sorry Darui.
Darui: For what?
Bee: Lariat!
After Darui gets knocked out Bee takes him underground to hide him.
Bee: Kumogakure will live on. You need to be the leader yo. I’ll take these clowns down son. Bye.
Bee then goes outside and defends the village to his full extent. He takes out 70% of the enemy’s forces but cannot take them on any longer because even a jinchūriki’s chakra does not last forever. When Bee finally gets down to his last strands of chakra he gets captured and Iwagakure prepares to hang him.
Bee: let….me….go.
Just then a kunai goes flying towards the rope and cuts it, freeing Bee.
General of Iwagakure’s Army: Who did that!
???: That would be me.
General of Iwagakure’s Army: And who would you be.
???: Most people know me as konoha’s yellow flash and the fourth hokage but you can call me Minato or your doom.
General of Iwagakure’s Army: Get him!
Just then there is a flash of light and Minato is gone.
Minato: (Minato whispers into the general’s ear with a kunai to his neck) Tell them to drop their weapons.
General Of Iwagakure’s Army: Drop your weapons!
After the order the army drops their weapons and stand there idle.
Iwagakure Ninja: Water Style: Hard Water Spike!
???: Dad watch out!
Bee: Lariat!
Bee Hits the Iwagakure ninja with the lariat and then faints and falls hard onto the ground.
Minato: Naruto guard Bee.
Then within an instant and a flash of yellow light Naruto is guarding Bee’s body. After this show the army goes wild with Fury.
Iwagakure ninja: Water Style: Hard Water Spike!
Minato: Naruto watch out!
Naruto: Wha…AHHHHHHHH!
Minato:NARUTOOOO!
Naruto’s been hit and his body is beginning to turn red, but his body is not becoming red because of blood, he is becoming shrouded in the Demon Fox Cloak!
Enough positive feedback and i will write another chapter.Please rep if you like it.
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