The Tale of Inichi Matsuka (Prologue)

Inichi Matsuka

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Okay, so a lot of people in my life have told me that I'm a good writer (I don't believe it) but I figured I would put my imagination to work and create a story for my fictional character (Inichi Matsuka).Keep in mind that the prologue is not placed at the beginning of this story.

A lone ninja broke out of the burning pile of rubble, coughing up smoke and choking up blood.The ninja instantly fell to his knees, gasping for breath and placing his hand on his neck.A million thoughts and memories ran through the shinobi's head, and after what felt like hours but was really seconds passed, he finally managed to gather his composure and rise to his feet.He started, limping every three or four steps and stumbling quite often.He reached a flight of steps that was somewhat intact, leading downward into the black void below.He headed downward, when suddenly the ground rumbled beneath him.The staircase wasn't stable!He quickly rushed down the stairs, heart racing.He was on the second-to-last step when the ground beneath him crumbled and fell into a giant heap of broken stone and ash.


When he finally came to, all he could see was blackness everywhere.The tunnel's entrance had collapsed, and now he was trapped inside!He moved his hands around on the floor, until he found a piece of wood.He quickly recited the hand seals:Ram, Dog, Rabbit, Serpant, Bird, Boar, Horse,and Tiger, activating Fire Style:Fire Ball Jutsu, and blowing a small ball of fire onto the stick seeing as he barely had enough chakra left to even activate the jutsu, much less excecute the hand seals.The stick he had found was now serving as a torch to light up the tunnel.The ninja trudged forward, placing one hand on the wall, half depending on the light the torch gave him, and half depending on the wall's direction.At last he reached light.


He walked out of the pitch-black tunnel into the sunlight, blinding him as his eyes were not yet adjusted to the harsh brightness of early afternoon.He saw a figure, female, it seemed to him.Slender and not too tall.He could just make out the outlines of a chuunin jacket and long, curly hair.The ninja didn't appear to be hostile, but still he cautiously drew a kunai out of his holster.The figure seemed to turn toward him and said, "Inichi? Is that you?"Inichi had heard that voice somewhere before, he just couldn't quite put his finger on who was speaking to him.The figure rushed toward him, but Inichi's body could not hold up how many wounds he had sustained, and he fell to the ground, crashing on his side.He could just barely make out the Kunoichi's legs moving towards him, but then the world went black.

Okay, that's it.

Tell me what you guys think, any feedback is acceptable :D

Also, what feedback I receive will determine whether or not I'll continue this :) So mean what you say and say what you mean xd


Chapter 1: http://www.narutobase.net/forums/showthread.php?t=77391
 
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Hakachi

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Looks really good! Reminds me a bit of my friend Kuroi Honoo's old one, Black Despair, but yet with its own subtle style to it. I look forwar to the continuation of this! :D
 
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