[Mystery] The Legendary Sage of Six Paths 2

Michael92

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The Legendary Sage of Six Paths, Chapter 2;

Massacre:

I had just arrived back home after visiting a nearby village not too far away from our temple's ground. My lecture was of the standard procedure; not one of my best played cards, but just enough to keep the few paying attention interested. I had now both managed and dared to travel further and further away from the temple on many of my different journeys across the land than I had before, and thus, I had also been able to experience and explore just exactly what this world was truly made of. Whether I traveled alone, or with someone else with me as we continued to spread our teachings as far as we could, hoping for it to one day have an impact on the land around us, I always made sure that I never strayed too far away from the temple and that my trips only lasted for a few days before I returned back home.

The temple laid just beside a small pond- or by another definition, a small lake, surrounded by a crescent-shaped formation of cliffs that strategically wrapped themselves around the area to cover it from the harsh weather of the outside world. Outside of this mysterious place, was mostly dessert and wasteland in all directions, but unlike the lifeless dusty field that stretched as far as the eye could see in the past, some other natural environments had sprung forth to add to the otherwise lonely place in the years that had gone by. Among them a small forest which grew just on the other side of the cliffs, a forest that was said to be quite holy, where only the oldest and most honorable of our sect were allowed to explore.

As I greeted my fellow monks and nuns while walking through the entrance of the temple's front door, I hurriedly made my way over to my room. I was quite tired after the long day that I had put behind me, as I laid down on the bed to try and get some well-deserved rest. I didn't manage to sleep long however, as only a few minutes later, the older man who had found and brought me into their sect a year ago, gently knocked on my door asking to have a word with me. I laid out the details of my journey to him as we had a longer conversation about the past, as well as what other tasks that were waiting ahead of us in the future. Taking his leave not long after, I watched as he closed the door behind him, just as gently as he had knocked on it before, and while I was still left thinking to myself, I realized that there was still a few other things I wanted to ask him while I was at it. Getting up to go after him, I suddenly heard some unnerving sounds down the hallway, quickly followed by some agonizing screams. 'What on earth was going on down there?' I slowly started approaching the turn of a corner towards the exit of the temple, and just as I peeked my head outside to see for myself, a man came as if flying towards me, landing on the ground just beside me. It felt like my heart stopped as I tried to examine him further. I immediately discovered what I deep inside had feared...

His throat had been slit as blood was gushing out of it. I looked up as I saw the entrance being stormed by an unknown group of samurai dressed in black, presumably assassins, as they swung their katanas at the ones standing around the front door, with my friends and family easily falling prey to their onslaught, just like my mother and father had once before. I was shaking tremendously, not knowing whether to try and help out or to run as fast as I could muster to get away from there. We weren't prepared, we never expected anyone to attack us out of the blue like this. I definitely didn't know how to defend myself or even begin to stand a chance against them yet. I was still weak and I knew it, but I had to do something, anything to help, to stop this madness? But what could I possibly do? Who would want us out of the picture, what had we done to deserve this?! Could it be the same assassins as back then?? Watching as this took place before me, I became numb with fear as the samurai suddenly shifted their attention towards me, aiming to move on to the next section of the temple to continue with their bloodshed. I had to run away but my legs wouldn't follow my lead. It was as if time slowed down as I stood idle by watching as they got even closer to me. There were blood everywhere as I saw life vanish from their eyes, from the countless bodies laying on the ground. I would die here if I didn't just run.

Before I managed to decide however, someone suddenly grabbed a hold onto my hand and dragged me with her. I simply couldn't wrap my head around what was taking place before me, but the next thing I knew I was running down the hallway with her, further into the temple as the samurai was charging in just behind us. I saw her shouting out to me as we ran but I couldn't grasp a single word of what she said. I was in my own trance, totally lost to the fear, totally paralyzed having to relive my greatest fears all over again. I was so scared, so helpless just like that time, and all I could do was to trust her, to cling on to my life. We ran as fast as our legs could carry us, just barely making it inside the furthest room down the last hall. She literally threw me inside as she quickly began to barricade the door behind us. Again she tried to reach out to me, but I could simply not read into her words. Swords started piercing through the door in the minutes that followed as the samurai were trying to hack their way through to us. At this point, the ones still standing barricaded in this room, had to be the last ones alive in our sect. Somehow I just had this feeling, but I wasn't able to do the proper calculation to draw a conclusion. I was certain that we too would be done for as soon as they teared down that door, so in the end, it wouldn't really matter.

Just as I thought I was going to lose it completely, another hand landed on my shoulder from behind as I turned around, only to be met with a familiar face. It was the older man that I had always knew since I arrived, and seeing his face, I quickly regained most of my senses. Telling the two of us to hurry up and use the secret tunnel while there was still time, I could only stand by watching as the two of them started arguing back and forth over why he wouldn't come with us, why we were the only ones allowed to live. But I couldn't interpret much of what they said. He gave her a reassuring hug, before giving me a firm hug as well after that, and then, he showed us the way to the alter standing in the middle of the room. Removing a hatch, he quickly pushed us through the gap in the floor and down into a tight and narrow tunnel-like passageway, as he just as rapidly closed the hatch over our heads before I even managed to utter a word or even begin to think of what to say.

Looking up, I could barely see through the small cracks present in the floor as I hear a loud cracking noise with the samurai storming the room shortly thereafter. I could not grasp time nor exactly what happened then, but I finally snapped back to reality again at the scene of several swords repeatedly piercing through the floor just inches away from us, with blood leaking through the cracks created by them as it dripped down onto our faces. I was not able to truly realize what happened due to still being in complete shock, but I knew it was bad as I looked over at her while trying to wipe the blood away from my chin with my hand. She was struggling to keep her tears back, knowing very well that if she started crying now, the noise of her grief would alert the samurai of our presence. I knew that I had to take charge, that I had to avoid letting my own agony get the better of me. This time it was my turn to lead the way as I grabbed her by the arm and started heading through the dark tunnel in front of us.

It could have been everything from ten minutes to an hour since the massacre took place, and I literally had no track of time anymore. However, we could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel as the cave got only brighter and brighter from the rays of the sun until we eventually reached the other end. Forcing ourselves out through the narrow hole in the ground, dig just under a sheltering rock, we were both breathing heavily as we tried to get a hold of ourselves. Only then did she finally let herself go. She cried to her heart's content, and seeing this, I tried to crawl over to her to comfort her but she only pushed me over to be left alone. I now finally begun to fully understand what had happened and I realized that the situation was bad, worse than anyone could have predicted. I decided to leave her alone for a bit as I pushed myself up to my feet again, trying to scan the surrounding area.

Turning back to her, I was just about to speak but she ultimately beat me to it; 'They're dead... They're all dead!! My father he... How could he sacrifice himself like that, he could have come with us, he could have...' She could only utter a few words before going silent again. I looked over at her as she too got up to her feet, trying to wipe her tears away. She came over to me as she reached out to give me a hug. She had regretted pushing me away earlier and I knew that I had no reason not to accept her teary eyes despite this. I tried my best to comfort her, but at the end of the day, there was nothing more we could do about it, nothing I could say that would make things better. The old man, every one of the friends I had made family with over the past year, my home, my new life... Everything gone in just a few minutes. It had to be the Oda clan, who else could it be? Was I cursed to always be hunted by them? Why did it feel like they were after me and the ones I cared about?

I tried to back off from her for a few seconds to get some space to think but she wouldn't let me. She clung on to me as if I was the only comfort she could seek. I both knew her and I had also spent some time with her during the year I had been there, but I did not know her nearly as well as I did with some of the other, nor as much as I probably would have liked to then. I knew she was the old man's only daughter, and that her name was Trea, but other than that, I was basically clueless. Especially on what to do next. Where were we anyways, and were we safe in this strange forest we now found ourselves in?? I tried asking her about our location but she continued to stall the answer at first, refusing to let go of me until I almost had to push her away to get her attention, looking her straight into her eyes as I asked her once again. Her eyes were all red from the crying as she struggled to summon enough strength to even bother to spill what she had on her mind. In fact, her eyes were almost as red as her short trimmed hair, and as I was starting to think on those little things that usually didn't matter, it then suddenly struck me... 'Why wasn't I crying??' I was feeling all the pain, all the fear, all the agony... I was feeling sad, enraged, but I could still not cry. Not even a single tear would shed even if I was to try and force it. I was just too shook up. It was like I still was in some sort of unbreakable trance, refusing to acknowledge the things that had happened. The past had caught up to me, and neither my mind nor my heart could take another devastating blow like this...

It was then that she finally spoke again. She said; 'This forest is the sacred forest of the Goddess... Only a few from our sect are ever allowed to venture into it. I'm sure you've heard of it before in one of our lectures...' Of course I had, but the thought of this possibly being it had yet to hit me. I had always honored the rules applied by our sect and held my distance away from this forest, and I had never envisioned myself one day getting the chance to go here as only the pure, the wise and the honorable were allowed to. Somehow though, it was as if fate through all the disastrous pain and agony we had been through, had guided me here to this place for one specific reason. It did not take long before I started getting a hold of myself again, and once I did, recent memory came to mind. This place was all too familiar. 'Somehow, I know this place... But I can't explain it.' I simply replied, as I grabbed a hold onto her hand and started guiding her forward through the trees. Even Trea, the daughter of one of the most honorable monks in the sect, had yet to see this place with her own eyes, so she could not think of any reason not to follow. I then started remembering what I was on to about... The dream. I had dreamt about this place before, where a mysterious figure, a woman, had appeared in front of me claiming to be the Goddess, Hylia, the guardian of this place, the one to shine light upon the Hero of Time's road and guide him towards his destiny. I had asked her who the Hero of Time was and she had replied that it was always only one Hero of Time, and that was the one wielding the Legendary Blade...

The two of us walked deeper into the enriched forest as we saw birds and other animals minding their own business all around us before we eventually came before a small magical pond. It was then that I laid my eyes upon it for the first time, just like the dream had showed me. Was this really happening or was I still dreaming? I let go of Trea's hand as I slowly walked around and up to a podium, or rather, a platform, present just behind the pond. It had a tiny pedestal with a great sword sticking up from it within the middle of a triangle-shaped symbol. I could feel its strong presence, its divine powers as I came closer. She tried to warn me not to take any chances, but she could only mumble a few words before I had reached all the way up to it. I had walked over to it as if I knew I had to try a draw it from its resting place, and now that I was there I felt almost confident. Everything felt so right in the moment of wrong. If anything, I could defend both myself and her with it if the Samurai were to return. And so, I gently wrapped my hands around it and drew it.

Just as I did, a bright light emerged and shot up into the sky, before vanishing before my eyes again. I pointed the sword high up into the air, admiring its greatness. When I looked down at Trea again, I suddenly noticed that we were surrounded by a pack of samurai, this time dressed in all red and even with some of them on horseback. They'd had her restrained, but they had not laid a hand upon her, not yet at least. Seeing this, I instantly knew that this time around, we would not be able to escape alive as I struggled to hold my ground anticipating their move, but luckily for us, this was not the vicious Oda clan from before, but instead the noble Sanada clan. Telling us that they were the guarding clan of this sacred forest and that they had protected the sword for generations until a worthy wielder would come to draw it, they were literally shocked to see someone unfamiliar being able to finally draw it from its great slumber, almost as if amazed by the situation taking place before them. They had been on one of their regular security runs when they had witnessed a great light coming from the sword's location, rushing in to see for themselves. Neither Trea nor myself managed to say much there and then, and before we even knew it, we were suddenly at a whole other location all together. Safe... At the main camp of the Sanada clan, just about a two hours' march to get there. They had invited us to join with them, and telling them about the massacre that had taken place, they quickly took us in to protect us from the Oda's reach.

Over time, this became our new home, and both Trea and I received training in the art of the samurai to be able to defend ourselves from the danger of this world. The sect was no more... We were samurai now. Being brought before one of the higher ranked officer in the clan, someone renown as the great Yukimura, I quickly mapped out the details of my life and our sect's terrible fate, over a cup of sake. As we drank and made acquainted, Yukimura then asked me; 'So what is your name??' I instantly replied; 'It's Hagoromo Ōtsutsuki.' Looking at me, it was as if a great concern formed in his thoughts... Did he know something that I did not, about my family's history and why we were set for elimination in the first place? 'There must have been some sort of misunderstanding, are you really sure that your last name is Ōtsutsuki?' He followed up. Looking puzzled at him, I simply nodded in return. It was then that he told me something it took years for me to truly grasp and accept...

He told me about the history of the Ōtsutsuki clan, how my mother, Kaguya, had had two sons, two brothers. One of them was Hagoromo, the other Hamura. At an early age, I had been kidnapped in the chaos that followed after my mother claimed the title of Goddess, using her mysterious ability to try to win power in the land and bring the constant battling to an end. My whereabouts had been left clouded in mystery, but a little bird had spread the word that little Hagoromo was not dead, but adopted by a loving father and mother, whom had moved away from the land to keep the child safe... It all made sense now, why the Oda clan was after me and why I never had been allowed to venture below the mountain, but I still couldn't believe it. Yukimura then said; 'In order to keep you safe, in order to keep our clan safe... We need to hide your identity for good and never speak of this again. We need to replace your name with something that no one will recognize if you want to stay here... And I have the perfect one for you.' I continued looking at him, both eager, saddened and a bit taken back at the same time. I knew his reasoning, and it all made sense, but somehow it all felt a little drastic.

From that day and for a long time forward, I was known as Naruto... Uzumaki Naruto. Chance had it that I would later receive information that the name wasn't totally by chance either, but for the next few years I spent with the Sanada clan, I didn't give it much thought until then. Fate and Destiny was after all, a peculiar thing beyond my simple understanding.

~ End of Chapter 2 ~




Fun Facts & Author's Note:

1: To expand upon what I said in the first chapter, this fanfiction will mostly rely on 1st person narrative for the whole of it. For the last 2 (I think?) chapters though, I'll be switching back to 3rd person narrative (like I opened up the first chapter with) for the remaining parts of this tale.

2: I've set the frame for this work to last for 9 chapters. The pacing has so far been a bit up and down, but I think I've settled for a proper standard when it comes to the progression of things. Normally, I would probably have mashed chapter 1-3 into one chapter back in the days instead of dividing them up, but lately as I've been experimenting, I've come to prefer the length these two chapters have had so far over the lengthy ones I did in the past. However, due to some "complaints (*Kremt* Trea, *Kremt*)" that I've received, I decided to make chapter 3 huge! You will have to see for yourself when the time comes.

3: With the final paragraph of this chapter, I've begun to touch upon what I was talking about back in chapter one, about the difference between the manga background-story for the Sage, and my own past Naruto series' background-story. In the end though, this tale will reflect the manga as much as possible without leaving too major plot-holes in my overall timeline, and the next chapter should move the story forward at a faster pace than it has so far, revealing information that will tie it up to both the Naruto Series, as well as my own TLSoK Series. So far, this tale has basically been mostly original story, but this is probably as original as it gets. Hope as many of you will stick around for the rest of the journey, and that you enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. Catch you guys later and make sure to leave a comment please! Would appreciate it a lot ^^

What to look forward to in the next chapter; Hagoromo meets the ancient Wizard of the old and learns the full truth of his family's past, the world of hatred and his very own destiny and how the Legendary Blade is connected to it. Kaguya and Hamura story also gets revealed as Hagoromo begins to question his own identity.

Chapter titled; The Master Sword & The Great Wizard

Release date - Released:
 
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danivass

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Wow! Okay, so, A couple of paragraphs in I was simply adoring the style of writing =D Nice job on that! I love the extra depth you put into this incorporating the sacred forest in the story well before Hagoromo ends up finding the Legendary Blade in it :)

I like the introduction of another clan and I'm now wondering if you will have a detailed "map" of all the clans, I mean if Hagoromo travels a lot he would encounter members of many clans (I may have not payed enough attention so if you ever mentioned how many clans there were it was lost on me xd). This chapter feels like a good point for Hagoromo to find the sword and also for some introduction on how Kaguya and Hagoromo are related, and I am certain you will find a fitting way to explain it all so as to connect your story and the manga.

All in all, I believe this was just what was needed in a second (out of 9) chapter and I can't wait for the next one! =D
 

Michael92

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Wow! Okay, so, A couple of paragraphs in I was simply adoring the style of writing =D Nice job on that! I love the extra depth you put into this incorporating the sacred forest in the story well before Hagoromo ends up finding the Legendary Blade in it :)

I like the introduction of another clan and I'm now wondering if you will have a detailed "map" of all the clans, I mean if Hagoromo travels a lot he would encounter members of many clans (I may have not payed enough attention so if you ever mentioned how many clans there were it was lost on me xd). This chapter feels like a good point for Hagoromo to find the sword and also for some introduction on how Kaguya and Hagoromo are related, and I am certain you will find a fitting way to explain it all so as to connect your story and the manga.

All in all, I believe this was just what was needed in a second (out of 9) chapter and I can't wait for the next one! =D
I'm beginning to realize what I missed about your reviews Dani =p

Glad you have gotten fond of the 1st person narrative style, as it felt like a rather big leap to make before I set out writing (for someone who have relied mostly on 3rd person script-style for all of his writing), but it seems like the little practice I got in my last work has helped tune this project to the best of my ability. I must admit, I kind of enjoy writing in this style myself.

As for the Sacred Forest, it is kind of curious of you to take notice of it considering that you haven't read The Legend of Link (Link's story), and The Forgotten Tale (Revan's story and the continuation of Naruto's time-travel to the past), which focus more on the Legendary Blade than most of my other stories. But then again, you might remember the background story that was revealed in TLSoK long time ago, and also with the details that was revealed in my Series Finale for that Series as well. My original plan was to introduce the sword in the next chapter, but I figured it would be easier to split it up and focus on the 'meeting' more rather than to have both events mashed into one chapter.

As for the clans... Well, so far I've only revealed two- The Oda Clan and the Sanada Clan, and there will be other clans to appear later on once the war starts-... Ehm, spoiler alert? xP Well yeah, but mainly I will focus on these two so as far as naming the others go, I'm not entirely sure yet. If I incorporate them into my story though, I have some ideas already made. So yeah, you didn't miss anything so far ;)

What I find interesting with this story, like I mentioned in my notes, is that with the two first chapters, it has yet to feel like a 'Naruto Story' in one sense. A direction I decided early on that I would take. With Chapter 3 though, I will trail more away from the originality and focus more on tying things together. Chapter 3 will be the biggest one yet, and since Trea practically demanded that I had to write a big one again like in the old days, I'm aiming to have chapter 3 be three times the size of what the two chapters have been so far.

One thing that have been on my mind since I started this work, which I feel like putting out there, is the difference between 'now' and the 'past.' If I had written and released this Series back in 2011 when I first started panning it out, I suppose most of the story would have been the same, but the writing would have been different (originally planned to write it in 3rd person narrative style), and there would probably have been a few readers to read it as well (the bad part about stalling it into the 'dying phase' of the FF Section). On the other hand, I don't think it would have been nearly as well executed like I've managed to pull it off so far, and the overall feel would have ended up being different (the good part about stalling it).

So what's more important? It's kind of hard to say. As for the overall story, it might have been a bad decision. As for writing experience in itself and overall satisfaction of the outcome of this project, I think it might have been for the better. After all, TLSoK might never have been completed if I started out with this Series in 2011, as well as the original idea for Three Kingdoms that I've also had since that time.
 
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danivass

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As for the clans... Well, so far I've only revealed two- The Oda Clan and the Sanada Clan, and there will be other clans to appear later on once the war starts-... Ehm, spoiler alert? xP Well yeah, but mainly I will focus on these two so as far as naming the others go, I'm not entirely sure yet. If I incorporate them into my story though, I have some ideas already made. So yeah, you didn't miss anything so far ;)

What I find interesting with this story, like I mentioned in my notes, is that with the two first chapters, it has yet to feel like a 'Naruto Story' in one sense. A direction I decided early on that I would take. With Chapter 3 though, I will trail more away from the originality and focus more on tying things together. Chapter 3 will be the biggest one yet, and since Trea practically demanded that I had to write a big one again like in the old days, I'm aiming to have chapter 3 be three times the size of what the two chapters have been so far.

One thing that have been on my mind since I started this work, which I feel like putting out there, is the difference between 'now' and the 'past.' If I had written and released this Series back in 2011 when I first started panning it out, I suppose most of the story would have been the same, but the writing would have been different (originally planned to write it in 3rd person narrative style), and there would probably have been a few readers to read it as well (the bad part about stalling it into the 'dying phase' of the FF Section). On the other hand, I don't think it would have been nearly as well executed like I've managed to pull it off so far, and the overall feel would have ended up being different (the good part about stalling it).

So what's more important? It's kind of hard to say. As for the overall story, it might have been a bad decision. As for writing experience in itself and overall satisfaction of the outcome of this project, I think it might have been for the better. After all, TLSoK might never have been completed if I started out with this Series in 2011, as well as the original idea for Three Kingdoms that I've also had since that time.
Yay! Spoilers! =D

I agree with your thoughts on the "now" and "past" aspects of your work and I think I would like it more as it is as opposed to what it could have been if you did this in 2011 :p I'd like to ask, since I remember you mentioned about trying to post your fanfics on other sites, but I forgot if you said anything about it, how did that go? Because that would also factor into this question.

Can't wait for the big one! xd
 

Michael92

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Yay! Spoilers! =D

I agree with your thoughts on the "now" and "past" aspects of your work and I think I would like it more as it is as opposed to what it could have been if you did this in 2011 :p I'd like to ask, since I remember you mentioned about trying to post your fanfics on other sites, but I forgot if you said anything about it, how did that go? Because that would also factor into this question.

Can't wait for the big one! xd
Gonna keep this short xD This reminds me of the past huh =p

Not much of a spoiler though xP That sum up of things to happen in the next chapter was more spoilers than that little 'hint.'

The big question eh? You know, I've talked a loooooot about this over the course of the last year. Some posts in my previous work, some posts in the contest section before I retired from there, some posts in my Social Group... The short version is that I've settled down on finishing this project and the short 'sum-up' story that I have in mind after it. Then comes the Collaboration project I'll be doing with Germanicus, before I'll do the first arc of Three Kingdoms, or rather, the 'prototype' version of it. Once all of that is done, I'll end everything with my Complete Series thread for my TLSoK Series before I finally will call it a day on the Base.

When November comes, I'll participate in the National Novel Writing Month (which I even made a thread about some time ago), which will be the ultimate test for me to figure out whether or not I could imagine myself doing some real writing and take the leap, or just finally call it a day for good. Between the end of NB and November however, I'll take some of my NB exclusive Series over to another site (not sure which one yet) and rewrite them to fit completely new readers (which will mean that I will have to remove certain stuff which ties all my stories together- The Master Sword will disappear completely for instance, except for The Legend of Link obviously). So far I'm thinking of rewriting The Legend of Link, & my Series Finale (will have to remove some references to my past entries and rewrite it in such a way that it seems like it's the one and only story) for that site, and disregard the others completely (it will ruin the other stories to remove the Master Sword reference. The Forgotten Tale will be nothing without it, and this story kind of relies too heavily on TLSoK's background story to work as a stand-alone without the Master Sword and the Wizard, and to be worth republishing).

Three Kingdoms however... Will be the one I'll focus solely on, and I'll base that one on the 'prototype version' I'll release on NB.
If everything goes as planned and enough readers comes around, I might even go for the originally planned 80 + chapters for that one, but it is a little too far ahead to say for sure yet.

Now comes my question... Since I'm sticking to the once a week recipe right now, and since it will take some time to complete chapter 3, I feel like asking you... What was it that suddenly brought you back to reading my work? O__o I mean, no matter how hard I tried, I never got you to read anything beside my TLSoK Series before xD
I know that you've been very busy, so it's kind of strange to see you back like this (although I must admit I'm loving it, haha). Thoughts? :rolleyes: ;)
 

danivass

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Well, the manageable to read size did it for sure, I love reading your things in one sitting and since I just couldn't find the time to do so before I guess I kind of gave up xd Anyway, it seems like you have so much to do =D Good luck with all that!
 

Michael92

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Well, the manageable to read size did it for sure, I love reading your things in one sitting and since I just couldn't find the time to do so before I guess I kind of gave up xd Anyway, it seems like you have so much to do =D Good luck with all that!
Haha yeah, that is why I decided to cut down on length after my Series Finale basically... Much easier to get people to read then. If you have more time to spare in the coming week, you should check out my One-Shot (kind of short actually) or The Forgotten Tale (to find out what happened to Naruto once he traveled to the past). I think you would like reading either one of them actually (both pretty short too). No pressure though, haha xP

Edit: Now, all there is to do is to wait for Trea's reaction huh. Which reminds me, I should get back to writing again soon.
 
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Trea

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I thought it was really good. The style is fantastic. I was immediately drawn in. I think this is one of your best chapters ever. Don't make them longer for my sake. This was a good length and will probably attract more readers. Just because I am addicted to reading doesn't mean everyone else is.

I was drawn in to the sages story and since Kishi never filled it in, your story is very believable. I have enjoyed all of your work so far but with this work you can tell your writing has improved. The style changes suit you. It was very descriptive but not overly so. I can't wait for the next part.
 

Michael92

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I thought it was really good. The style is fantastic. I was immediately drawn in. I think this is one of your best chapters ever. Don't make them longer for my sake. This was a good length and will probably attract more readers. Just because I am addicted to reading doesn't mean everyone else is.

I was drawn in to the sages story and since Kishi never filled it in, your story is very believable. I have enjoyed all of your work so far but with this work you can tell your writing has improved. The style changes suit you. It was very descriptive but not overly so. I can't wait for the next part.
Well I like the style myself, so I guess that's a good thing =D It's almost a shame that I'm going away from it with my next three projects huh xD Well I'll try to retain the intensity someway despite the transition to 3rd person. One of my best ever? That's kind of bold but what a compliment! O_O Thanks ^__^ I'm almost getting second thoughts for Recollection of the Past which seems like some sort of collector's edition of movies that have nothing to do with each other except for having the same director xD

Yeah, but the next chapter is kind of hard to pull off without making it long xP I don't know how long it will be yet, but something tells me its length will be over the normal. And if not for you, then for whom? I only have you and Dani for this Fic, some demands will have to do, haha. Regarding length, I had more readers for my Series Finale, so length isn't really a problem. The problem is the pre-laid layout I've laid down for this story and I basically have to stick to it. If I change it too much by either cutting down on things, moving scenes to other chapters or even extending stuff, it won't be the same in the end. It's a matter of following the frame which is the key to making each chapter feel unique. I think that's why this Series feel more 'unique' as a whole compared to my previous one The Forgotten Tale, which felt more like going from 'A to B.' A transition period. However, I don't know how long I can keep it up though, haha.

I can feel the pressure now:sweat:

:hyper::bouncy::glomp:

Yes, I will keep going forward :scorps: No matter the cost xD
The amusing thing is that you're the one who have had to adapt to the change in my writing. I think I might slowly but steadily be getting there. At the end of the day, it was always the plan to slowly change from script to narration style even though it felt both strange and a bit complicated to pull off.

The thing about this story is that not only does it draw attention a bit away from the manga, but it also somewhat "rearrange" the events that were already explained by Kishi. So would it have turned out the same plot-wise if made in 2011 like originally planned? Probably not. Back then I didn't need to adapt my story to the manga and was free to go down which path I'd like. Now however, I have to try and fuse things together for them to make most sense, and therefore I'll have to try and keep things fresh which to some degree is challenging.
Now I'm just talking too much xD What was my point? Ahh well, I think you get it.
 

Trea

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You might have to adapt it a little bit to the manga, but you do have quite free reign as far as the sage's past goes and what you've written so far is very believable. Well I certainly won't complain about a long chapter and I'm looking forward to it. So far I think this style has worked out the best for you. The last series the first 2 parts seemed a little choppy this style is working much better.
 

Michael92

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You might have to adapt it a little bit to the manga, but you do have quite free reign as far as the sage's past goes and what you've written so far is very believable. Well I certainly won't complain about a long chapter and I'm looking forward to it. So far I think this style has worked out the best for you. The last series the first 2 parts seemed a little choppy this style is working much better.
Yeah you're right. Nevertheless it might have been for the better that it was made now rather than sooner. Guess we'll just have to wait and see. Indeed, or rather the execution didn't turn out as well as I had hoped for.
So, you're not going to even mention the Monk's daughter, Trea? :rolleyes:
 

Trea

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I caught it. It made me laugh and smile. It's my favorite name. I was never too crazy about Teresa, my parents only called me that when I was in trouble and Terri is kind of boring. I'm flattered.
 

Kuroi Honoo

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It's nice to see that this sect opened Hagoromo up to life. I liked your descriptions of the landscape around and beyond the temple. I really liked that you provided a timeline by stating how long Hagoromo thus far remained with the sect. I was thinking that it was the assassins who murdered Hagoromo's parents. Hagoromo was lucky that this female was in his area or perhaps she was risking her life to check for survivors. I was glad to see that at least the older monk who introduced Hagoromo to the sect was still alive :) The only reason I think of for the older monk choosing not to go with them was in order to slow down the opposing samurai by offering himself up as bait. That is beyond brave, noble, etc. but it’s also very unfortunate that he met his end that way. In the manner the female was reacting to the elder’s death, I thought perhaps she was his relative. Okay and she now confirmed what I was thinking-that he did sacrifice himself. I see some elements from Zelda being incorporated and in the way that you do it, comes off fantastically well ;) The fact that Hagoromo was dreaming about this magical place meant that he was a chosen one fairly early in his life. So it’s as if prophesied that he was chosen to wield this powerful sword and luckily just in time before the small army of samurai surrounded them lol Well I was surprised when the samurai were revealed to be the Sanada clan-so I stand corrected XD It was nice for Hagoromo and Trea to have been found by benevolent people, taken in by them and trained in their form of fighting as well :) So the Rikudou Sennin was a samurai before a sage-AWESOME! =D It was interesting for one of the higher ups in the Sanada clan to have known about Hagoromo’s bloodline and even more so for his alias to be Uzumaki Naruto lol I wouldn’t have expected it to be that name but you’re definitely a fan of interweaving things. Things are becoming more and more intriguing as this story continues to develop-fantastic job! ;)

About your fun facts and author’s notes:

1) Thanks for that insight ;)

2) Oh well that will be one to see lol

3) Yes, towards the ending of this chapter, you can see the beginning of integration between Hagoromo’s cannon backstory and yours which was nicely done :) It was an enjoyable read ^^ Oh and you even provided a brief preview lol
 

Michael92

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It's nice to see that this sect opened Hagoromo up to life. I liked your descriptions of the landscape around and beyond the temple. I really liked that you provided a timeline by stating how long Hagoromo thus far remained with the sect. I was thinking that it was the assassins who murdered Hagoromo's parents. Hagoromo was lucky that this female was in his area or perhaps she was risking her life to check for survivors. I was glad to see that at least the older monk who introduced Hagoromo to the sect was still alive :) The only reason I think of for the older monk choosing not to go with them was in order to slow down the opposing samurai by offering himself up as bait. That is beyond brave, noble, etc. but it’s also very unfortunate that he met his end that way. In the manner the female was reacting to the elder’s death, I thought perhaps she was his relative. Okay and she now confirmed what I was thinking-that he did sacrifice himself. I see some elements from Zelda being incorporated and in the way that you do it, comes off fantastically well ;) The fact that Hagoromo was dreaming about this magical place meant that he was a chosen one fairly early in his life. So it’s as if prophesied that he was chosen to wield this powerful sword and luckily just in time before the small army of samurai surrounded them lol Well I was surprised when the samurai were revealed to be the Sanada clan-so I stand corrected XD It was nice for Hagoromo and Trea to have been found by benevolent people, taken in by them and trained in their form of fighting as well :) So the Rikudou Sennin was a samurai before a sage-AWESOME! =D It was interesting for one of the higher ups in the Sanada clan to have known about Hagoromo’s bloodline and even more so for his alias to be Uzumaki Naruto lol I wouldn’t have expected it to be that name but you’re definitely a fan of interweaving things. Things are becoming more and more intriguing as this story continues to develop-fantastic job! ;)

About your fun facts and author’s notes:

1) Thanks for that insight ;)

2) Oh well that will be one to see lol

3) Yes, towards the ending of this chapter, you can see the beginning of integration between Hagoromo’s cannon backstory and yours which was nicely done :) It was an enjoyable read ^^ Oh and you even provided a brief preview lol
You could say that describing the landscape around the Temple was crucial for what to come next, as it would have been harder to explain where they were going and such then. Then again, this might have been the only part of chapter 2 that I felt was a little pale in narrating compared to the rest, but I guess it did its part at the end of the day.

As for a timeline, it's kind of crucial for me to keep track on that. Not only to make his time spent be more believable, but also to match up with the already mapped out story in TLSoK Returns.

The Assassins are but one small group of the Oda army yet to be properly revealed. But yeah, chances are that the same assassins from before might have been part of this massacre too, or they might already have fallen on the battlefield in the time that passed. Up to speculation I guess.

Well yes. The Sage already told Naruto in Returns that before he awakened his powers, he was indeed a swordsman, and although I don't think I went too deep into that back then, I'm not really going to go much deeper into it than this now either I guess. Don't even know if I mentioned him being a Samurai back then. What I do know though is that I mentioned him being familiar with the Land of Iron and the Samurai culture.

I'll be heading right on to the next review ;)
 

Kuroi Honoo

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You could say that describing the landscape around the Temple was crucial for what to come next, as it would have been harder to explain where they were going and such then. Then again, this might have been the only part of chapter 2 that I felt was a little pale in narrating compared to the rest, but I guess it did its part at the end of the day.

As for a timeline, it's kind of crucial for me to keep track on that. Not only to make his time spent be more believable, but also to match up with the already mapped out story in TLSoK Returns.

The Assassins are but one small group of the Oda army yet to be properly revealed. But yeah, chances are that the same assassins from before might have been part of this massacre too, or they might already have fallen on the battlefield in the time that passed. Up to speculation I guess.

Well yes. The Sage already told Naruto in Returns that before he awakened his powers, he was indeed a swordsman, and although I don't think I went too deep into that back then, I'm not really going to go much deeper into it than this now either I guess. Don't even know if I mentioned him being a Samurai back then. What I do know though is that I mentioned him being familiar with the Land of Iron and the Samurai culture.

I'll be heading right on to the next review ;)
I see well thanks for that insight ;)

It’s nice that you’d still leave that up for speculation-always wonderful to keep your readers guessing ;)

I see, well nevertheless I think you’ve so far done a splendid job describing the swordsman within him no matter how small you think it was ^^
 

Michael92

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I see well thanks for that insight ;)

It’s nice that you’d still leave that up for speculation-always wonderful to keep your readers guessing ;)

I see, well nevertheless I think you’ve so far done a splendid job describing the swordsman within him no matter how small you think it was ^^
Haha, well by this chapter, I haven't even begun describing his swordsmanship, but I guess you're already keeping the 4th one in mind ;)
 

Glad Of War

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Magnifique story Michael. I love the idea of introducing a new clan which in my opinion is kind of a rival clan against the oda's. Your indepth analysis also seems to be on point. Although I would like to know more about how Hagoromo supposely got adopted.
 

Michael92

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Magnifique story Michael. I love the idea of introducing a new clan which in my opinion is kind of a rival clan against the oda's. Your indepth analysis also seems to be on point. Although I would like to know more about how Hagoromo supposely got adopted.
I never thought I'd get the honor of seeing you here, not at this stage anyhow =p ^^
Well if you must know, be sure to read on then ;)
 

Jinrou

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Wow Michael...I must say I'm hooked. I was really drawn into the entire scene with the Samurai attacking the sect..made me feel pity for Hagoromo. Again, good job nailing this new style of writing ^^
Chapter 3 next for me ^^
 
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