the final chapter pt.2: naruto vs madara

[Makoto Yuki]

*while sasuke is fighting tobi naruto is running as fast as he can to reach sasuke in time,he reaches the gate when he hears.*
tobi: not fast enough sasuke.
sasuke:ugh.......*collapses...dead*
naruto:AGH!!!!!!!! YOU MONSTER I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*there is no one to hold naruto back naruto, naruto unleashes six tailed naruto*completly forgeting his traning.* and goes after tobi with full force.*
naruto:GRRRRR!!!!!!!! wooooooooooooooo!!!!!!
*kyuubi rasengan*
tobi: hmmm.......pathetic.
*tobi jumps behind naruto before the attack hits him,grabs naruto's tails and throws him down, for a long moment naruto released his tailed form.*
tobi:......... figures *takes his sharangan*
naruto:GET AWAY FROM HIM!!!!!!!!!!
tobi:........
naruto:NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*tobi backs up while naruto prepares his new techniqe*

naruto:WE FINISH THIS NOW!!!!
tobi: .............
naruto launches his wind rasengan and tobi jumps over it with ease, what tobi didnt now was that naruto's techniqe would allow his clones to do jutsus.*
tobi:HA!, pointless naruto you know that dont y-
naruto:yeah.. i know thats why i prepared myself.
*tobi did'nt realise that naruto was standing right behind him with his stronger rasengan techniqe learned in the kyuubi world..... the gargantuan rasengan!*
tobi:NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Wesobi]

No offence mate, but this is horrible...

Your chapters are WAY too short, your punctuation is not too good.
You should try using colours when working in a dialogue version like this, that makes things easier. Also a narrator that actually tells us something about the story itself, because some people have no idea what is happening bar the fight.

Oh, and you switched Madara with Tobi... It's the same person, but don't change the names during a battle

 

[Makoto Yuki]

i know i just posted the plot....*basicly*...also i am VERY tired but i dont want to go to sleep..... sooo if you want i will fix it later....... also i know i swiched, didnt do it on purpose that just happens to me some times

 

[Makoto Yuki]

thank you... this will help me make the story alot eaiser for everyone.... i redid the first one