the 5th great ninja war

-Haku Yuki-

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chapter 6 the ten tails unleashed: last time naruto fought madara it was a hard fight but madara released the ten tails.

naruto: ( yes he fell for it)

ten tails: free at last.

naruto: whoa( his chakra is way to powerful)

the ten tails brings a tail down trying to crush naruto.

naruto dodges it.

naruto: rasen shuriken.

naruto throws it but the jutsu is forced right back to naruto and blows up.

naruto: a shiled made of chakra its unbreakable( wait this gives me an idea...)

the ten tails brings its tails and swips naruto he crashs against a wall.

naruto: how many times will i hit this wall today?

naruto: sage art bath in boiling oil.

naruto releases a oil and fire mixed jutsu.

the ten tails comes out unscarced.

naruto: ( almost out of sage chakra think fast)

the ten tails runs foward at naruto naruto jumps over the ten tails.

naruto: wind style wind dragon jutsu.

a wind dragon hits the ten tails but that to does nothing.

the ten tails fire a tailed beast bomb.

naruto: rasen shuriken barrier.

naruto makes 15 rasen shurikens and puts them on an angle the tailed beast bomb deflects off the rasen shurikens and right towards the ten tails, the ten tails gets hit by it and crashs againt a wall.

naruto: wind style: rasen shuriken .

the jutsu hits the ten tails crushs naruto under its tail but it was a shadow clone naruto appaers behind it.

naruto: sage art gaint sage rasen shuriken.

naruto makes a bigger rasen shuriken the yellow one but much bigger then before.

and thorws it it injuries the ten tails badly but the ten tails gets up again.

naruto:( i'm wasteing chakra on this one but) sage art sage rasen shuriken berrage.

naruto fire 15 sage rasen shurikens at the ten tails.

the ten tails defelcts five by hitting them with its tails

they hit naruto but the other ten hits the ten tails.

naruto: its still alive after that attack.

meanwhile...

shikamaru: kakashi are we driving them out yet?

kakashi: no theres still over 1000 zetsus.

saskura: where is naruto?

kakashi: dont worry naruto will be fine he'll be here helping us before you know it, ms.

kakashi takes out 20 zetsus with his ms.

back to naruto...

after 3 hours...

naruto: huff huff.

naruto: ( up to my last bit of sage chakra i better do it now)

naruto: now ten tails heres a jutsu that was used by the sage of six paths to seal you, sealing jutsu eights swords rinneagan tragram.

the toads spit oil around the floor in the shape of the rinnagan.

eight chakra swords surrond the ground keeping the ten tails from moving.

naruto picks up one sword and stabs the ten tails in the stomach he then makes hand seals.

naruto: seal.

the sword starts to suck chakra from the ten tails and into narutos stomach.

tentails: no i just got free.

naruto: i will seal you madara and the ten tails and come the day i die you and the tentails and the tailed beasts will be wiped from the world.

the chakra starts going in faster the ten tails starts to disappear.

naruto: four element seal.

with that the ten tails was sealed along with madara.

naruto: yes it worked i have to get back to the lea... ah what is this.

madaras sharingan and rinnagan appear in narutos eyes.

madara: i wont go so easly.

naruto: its to late madara your are doomed to die with me on my death bed.

madara: no i cant lose!

naruto: go away you demon.

madara: what are you?

naruto: i'm the 6th hokage.

naruto: now die i'll just make the seal tighter.

meanwhile...

shikamaru; they just keep coming.

kakshi: it might be the end for us.

then gamabunta appears crushing 50 zetsu.

naruto: get lost zetsus.

later...

kakashi: just in time naruto.

naruto: thanks kakashi.

sakura: now you have the ten tails.

naruto: yup.


next time the graduation exam ( for the next chapter it will be under a differnt ff title 12 years later with narutos youngest son about to take the exam its going to be differnt then what naruto toke its differnt and i will write it differnt title because narutos youngest sons story has nothing to do with the 5th ninja war and the 5th ninja war is over tell me what you think)
 

-Haku Yuki-

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yeah it isnt as cool as the real thing and the next chapter of it are you guys ok with it as narutos youngest son story from here and i was looking for names for his sqaud mates
tell me if they are good sora oni( means sky devil)
narutos youngest son sasuke uzumaki
and aki shiawase ( means fall and i dont know)
 

-Haku Yuki-

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thank you from here its mostly gonna be narutos son the youngest one 12 years later and can you tell me if these are good names for his sqaud mates sora oni
his name is sasuke uzumaki and aki shiawase hows that
some one tell me plase i need to kow if these are good names
 

-Haku Yuki-

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well does anyone have a comeant for the names imchooseing for narutos youngest son and his sqaud mates i need to know if these names are alright sora oni sasuke uzumaki
and aki shiawase
 

Escorpiius

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Okay, I' doubt to get time for your next FF as I've got school resuming as from today but here's my full review on this FF (of all chapters).

- First of all, understand something well. In an FF, you can write most of your imagination and it will still look good if the presentation is good. That's the main problem of your FF - its quick presentation and faulty language. You seriously should take better English lessons - mostly about punctuations. There are places where the words are not well-written, almost most places where "," or "!" were missing and names should start with capital letters always, no matter what. Look, I'm not flaming you - just honest feedback - but see it like that, even a very beautiful girl will look ugly in beggar's clothes. On this, hope you'll understand and next time, you'll write a chapter, work on the language and punctuation first and foremost. An advice, I'll give you to help you work on it, is to always open Dictionary and Thesaurus and Google Translator whenever you're writing.

- Next, the events were kinda rushed. Especially, the battles. The Zetsus beating Naruto's son and Kakashi were a bit hard to imagine. On this, I also wondered what happened to Naruto's son. The battles are more like the Youtube vids where they make quick parody of battles. Seriously, a sword stabbed on the Juubi? You didn't find anything better?

- I lol'd on the "5 o'clock" part of Naruto. Well, 20 years passed, so I guess Naruto should have matured a bit more but never mind, it was not a bad touch. You should perhaps work more on characters development. Where was Kabuto btw?

- Euh, yeah, the techniques! Well, some were nice but some were too hard to imagine like the 15 Rasenshurikens. The Amaterasu Fireball is quite impossible, same for Ametarasu Kirin but they looked cool.

- Another thing, your FF will have looked cooler if you made it a bit funnier cause you tried to make it sound like serious and it was so "spoofy" and drama-lacking, that it fails to connect with at part. Moments like Naruto's son dyeing or Sasuke dyeing should make readers moist their eyes a bit and not laugh.

- Btw, I think everyone use this phrase way too much that...Sasuke: "I will kill Madara or die trying"). If you don't count mine, that's the 3rd one I'm seeing. Guess it's a cult phrase.

- All-in-all, the timeline and idea is interesting. Wish some more character development, better English, drama, research and presentation, you could have done wonders with it.
Your chapters are nice, just incomplete. Final suggestion --- re-polish all your chapters. You've got some good imagination, make good use of it.
 
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