Jazzy Stardust
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you should wait. use the six years before death to try and find happiness with yourself or a reason to live, then if you fail before the day, at least you tried your best
Suicide?
- Thread starter AnimusOra
- Start date
Mari Makinami
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Can you please ask someone to make a vid and upload it on youtube when the time comes?
kun:
Mari Makinami
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Humans are a remarkable species, they disobey their natural instict unlike other animals and decide when their existence shall end. Each and every life form is destined to die at some point and yours is no exception.
Roman stoic philosophers believed that suicide was the ultimate conclusion to a life of control. It essentially shows that you are powerful enough to conquer death. A stoic does not run from death, but embraces and aids it.
Can you please ask someone to make a vid and upload it on youtube when the time comes?
That would be even better
[video=youtube;j3OPOYG6XIQ]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3OPOYG6XIQ[/video]
Well sorry for the late response everyone i really do appreciate you guys taking the time to read this. I will do my best to answer the questions. As far as my reason behind the suicide is because of the lies of my family. You grow up thinking you can trust these people no matter what and that they will take care of everyone in the family. I found this to not be true. My oldest cousin on my mom's side was the closest person i had to being an older brother (i am the oldest in my immediate family) i looked up to him for everything. But as the years went by i notice more and more that he had trouble with his life that were far worse than mine. You see we could both relate as our parents did not care for us in the slightest him being far far less than mine. He had alot of issues growing up and alot of trouble being accepted by his own mother and father. He enlisted into the Air Force in order to get away from everything and he was only 17 at the time. The next time i saw him he was already 24. I can't even begin to tell any of you how excited i was to see him. But it was short lived as for some reason he had to leave. So for the next few years everytime i would see him i would never get to see him as he always had to leave. He always left and i never knew why. On June 10, 2013 my cousin shot himself in the head. He couldn't go on in life anymore with the struggles of war and the life of his family. It turns out that everytime my cousin came down to see us he had to get a hotel and couldn't stay with my parents or my aunts and uncles, why you ask? Because he would smoke weed. Im serious thats it. All because he smoked they didn't want him around us and especially when he needed us to be around him to help him as much as we could. Well it also turns out i learned about him smoking and my families bias towards him once he was dead. The only person i could seriously call "brother" i couldn't help in the long run. If you are still reading this then i am sure you have realized the significance in the date i chose. The day i will kill myself is the day that my cousin took his own life. There are so many days i wish i could just go and talk to him once more. But that won't happen ever again. I have decided not to live longer than he did. I don't care if my family gets hurt and to be honest i don't care about any of them at all. I was betrayed by them and my cousin as well. I haven't talked to any of them since his passing. I would get into more detail but that is a story for another time.
Now as for the livestream? Come on man be real i couldn't trust anyone enough to do that. I would do it. But the person i trust to do that is already dead so there is no point.
-AnimusOra
Maybe see a professional before you make any decisions cause it sounds like the worst solution possible to your problems
And tbh I can't imagine that my older brother would be anything but disappointed if I decided to kill myself because he died.
Ive seen a therapist before and if anything that is what really started to mess me up. I use to see a therapist from age 4 to 18 because i wouldn't talk to anyone. So my parents thought it would be better to talk to a complete stranger......
Jazzy Stardust
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i get youre sad and angry, been there. i walked in the garage right as my cousin blew her brains out all over the wall because my uncle had been molesting her, she was afraid to say anything . i was 11 and didnt know how to handle all the emotions i felt, sure are similar to yours
so im glad you picked six years from now, you have to go through the different stages of grieving for your brother. you'll realize how his death will affect your family and you and you'll all grow from it. you won't have the same mindset you have now regarding it, trust me
Wow man i am sorry to hear about that....and i thank you for your advice it is unknown how my mindset will be once im 32. Who knows what will happen.
Jazzy Stardust
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exactly, its okay to feel how you feel now, but just wait till the date. and I appreciate it, sorry for your loss as well
You seem to be lot older to care for parents or family atm. Why do you care for family and lament over them. It does not seem like you need to kill your self.
I had shitty parents, I would feel sad for it when I was kid but when I grow up realized they were **** ups I just stopped caring about them. I have had my misfortunes or live with it. When I got cheated and betrayed I just learned not to trust them. I have had multiple stages in life where suicide seemed logical. Hell even right now I have got nothing, living on student debt, I have got nowhere to go no purpose if I dont get a job. Only thing I want to do is to try to be better and independent and get away from all the shit and shitty people.
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:stfu:
I would like to say I never really had a close relationship with any of my family, as well as other problems but I think about it all the time too but I feel that suicide is simply as a backup plan should everything fail. It comforts you knowing there's some way out. So why not try to find something to bring you happiness just like everyone else. I know I'm trying to so just use the rest of this time to find something to fill that emptiness in your hurt whether it be someone else or a video game that distracts you from the numbness. Or you could even have a pretend smile all day with a pill until you can find that something.
DeathangelNaruto20000
Member
Suicide to me is a form of comfort when you have no one to run to. You basically just need that little form of emotional release. But the thoughts that come with the emotions sometimes just go too far for lack of a better word. I would love to commit suicide one day not because of the emotional ties often related to suicides. I wanna see whats on the other side. Suicide to me is the ultimate form of ADVENTURE into the unknown cause there is no one on this earth who can tell you what lies on the other side. It even excites me just thinking about. My friend dont run from the problems facing you by killing yourself. In life there no such thing as Bad unless you see it as bad. My dad threatens to kill me and my sisters all the time but now that Ive grown up and he threatens us.I just tell him that if he touched my sisters than Id skin him alive. Yes I am a bit insane.. But there is never a dull day in my life. ENJOY LIFE CAUSE YOU ONLY HAVE ONE
Hello there, I was keeping track of your thread from the day you posted it. I was interested cause I saw some amazing honesty in your posts. I went inactive cause I wanted to take a break from NB (Even going so far as ditching my password). I logged in again cause of the post I have quoted. The reason being that I did not give my input to stop you from suicide because I didn't know the reason why you wanted to do suicide. On second thoughts, I should have asked you the reason myself also cause thanks to the many responses by the other members you finally given the reason which means I can now give a good answer to show you that suicide is not worth it.
Now I hope you would think deeply about what I have said.
First of all, don't think your cousin is dead. The body may be transient but the soul is eternal. Even if your cousin is dead, he still lives on. You may not believe it, but a part of him still lives on within you. Why ? Because you remember him so many years after his death. The memories and feelings that you had with him (Short they may be) are proof that he lives on within you. The biggest proof that your cousin lives on within you lies in the statements that you yourself are making :-
The proof from god lies in this statement :-
Why would you say this ? It's because your cousin is within you. By repeating the suicide experience, your end fate will be just like his own. This shows that your cousin and you are one.
However, by killing yourself you are removing all traces of those memories of your cousin. You are also killing your own cousin again. I would suggest you to instead live and honor his existence.
A few people here have raised the viewpoint that by killing yourself, you can experience the Afterlife and you could meet your cousin again. But this is not a good thing to do. Everybody is born into the Physical world with a purpose. You now have that purpose, the purpose being to live on and honor you cousin's memories. Till you not fulfill your purpose, dying by suicide will not only be cowardly but also be a disgrace to your brother's memories.
Second, if you cannot live for yourself, live for the sake of the memories and honor of your cousin. If you do that, you will eventually find the meaning of your own existence. After all being selfless and thinking about others can also lead you to a purpose and meaning of life. I know that the two points that I have raised seems childish and might make people laugh (I am myself chuckling a bit while writing this); but deep within I know that all the laughter comes from self denial, i.e; not accepting your own true human nature.
Anyways, I digress and come to my third point. How would you live ? The answer to this again lies in your own statements :-
The past cannot be undone and for a good reason. What you see above is Evil. But it is also very important as by experiencing evil you can do good. The Past may not be under your control but the Present and Future is. Your parents by doing evil have given you the strength to do good. If you want to live life, take what your parents did as a lesson and do what is right. Have an awesome family, keep them all happy, believe that your cousin lives on within you. By doing so, your cousin will experience all those things through you which he was not able to because of his premature Death.
Here's what you should do as a parent :-
Always be well connected with your family : Your wife and children. Always trust them and never lie to them.
You think so ? Then be such a good parent that your children will trust you no matter what. Care for them as much as you can to the fullest.
Then be a parent who always cares for his children no matter what.
You can again change this by connecting with your own children and sharing the burden of their issues. The second part of acceptance can also be done by joint efforts between you and your wife.
Be such a parent that your children don't run away from you; instead they come running to you for comfort and love.
Be such a parent who looks beyond bias and sees his sons and daughters for what they are : A part of him, his own children. You can't be biased with such a mindset.
Also, never ever give up on life, until you have fulfilled your purpose. Always use the Evil to do Good, don't get consumed by Evil; cause if you do; only Nothingness will remain.
As conclusion; my third point focuses on the future and your meaning of existence. Both will end the moment you shoot yourself and die. Having Something is better than having Nothing, Nothingness will only happen when you deny the Future; which is under your control.
Fourthly, I will try to give my inputs on some parts which are still left out :-
You will not be able to help your brother/cousin if you kill yourself. You can help him by 1) Remembering him as a positive inspiration for life, 2) Believing that your life is not your own, but your cousin's as well, 3) Taking your pain and suffering as a lesson and using it as a basis to ensure that you won't do it yourself which in turn ensures a happy and bright future for your own children.
Wrong. Once you have fulfilled your purpose and die, you will meet him again in the Afterlife. I assure you that he will be very proud of what you have done in life. However, if you do suicide, I wonder if he will be happy to meet you again. He might think that he himself was the reason you killed yourself. You do not want your cousin to blame himself for your death, do you ?
While this mindset might seem justified, it is wrong morally. Once you stop caring for a few people, you stop caring about everything in the world (I think it's called Nihilism). This is once more a case of Nothingness. I would suggest you to observe your family and try to find their good points. Use the good points as a basis of caring for them. (P.S: I don't think a pure evil human can exist, cause goodness will always be present in some form or the other).
Fifthly, I would focus on your Suicide Plan :-
On the day you do suicide, before you pull the trigger; think about what I said, Think about all the members here who tried to discourage you from doing suicide, Think about the cousin whom you are killing again, think about the Bright future of your children that you are going to erase forever. After thinking all of this, if you don't pull the trigger and decide to live, you have found your meaning in life :
Finally, I would like to say that If you do decide to live, I expect you to have enough trust in all of us to make a livestream of yourself about how and why you decided to live.
Thank you for reading. :bows:
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