Let me see if i can explain. What caused me to become a yokai was a grudge, a deep seeded grudge and as a result it and i were born at the same time, we both exist in the same body. Even though this grudge devours my negativity, the grudge itself is composed of nothing but negativity and is always present.........................................if i were to put it simply it would be like having someone with a really bad attitude always close to u.well that's nice of it...then shouldn't you be happier? if it's taking all your negativity...I still don't understand why you'd want that thing.