Proof that hell has frozen over

[Avani 🥉]

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and warms when it is compressed), or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.

So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you”, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A""

 

[Braveknight]

well this big paragraph gave me a long brain lagg/freeze o.0

 

[Olorin]

Algalon wrote: first, we need to know there is no hell XD

 

[Avani 🥉]

Algalon wrote: first, we need to know there is no hell XD

Broaden your horizen. Let the imagination... err

Whatever.

 

[JojocIaw]

Sore wa kakkoii desu. ( I hope I got it right :s )

That is awesome.

 

[Phobos]

lol
deserved A

 

[leafeater]

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.


HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and warms when it is compressed), or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.

So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you”, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A""

I admit it's clever, mostly due to the assumptions. By making those assumptions, he determined the problem type and that the key is the sign of the exponential (which is the solution), which allowed him to determine if it would grow exponentially or decay exponentially. He was describing a 1st-order differential equation problem to which an exponential is always the solution, see below.

Note there's another way of writing this, not assuming rates, but discrete events for each soul entering hell, that requires additional terms. Really, I shouldn't be so quick to dismiss the constants.

dy/dt=-y(t)/tau_s

**This is the growth rate of souls in hell as a function of time.

y(t) =a_inf + (a_0 - a_inf)*exp(-y/tau_s)

Where a_inf, a_0, and tau_s (the time constant) are constants.


Edit: As always in math, if someone can, please check my work, it should take about less than a minute. Apologies the simplified version was incorrect as I assumed discrete events. Thanks

Essentially the same problem as having a sink with drain the empties at a certain rate, and a faucet pouring water in at a certain rate. If it drains faster than the water pours in, no problem. However, if water pours in faster than it empties, it overflows. It's a classic Calculus problem, see above. I should note, that when he says that number of souls changes exponentially he's already assuming this without stating it I believe.

Peace

 

[Avani 🥉]

Spoiler

I admit it's clever, mostly due to the assumptions. By making those assumptions, he determined the problem type and that the key is the sign of the exponential (which is the solution), which allowed him to determine if it would grow exponentially or decay exponentially. He was describing a 1st-order differential equation problem to which an exponential is always the solution, see below.

dy/dt=-y(t)/tau

y(t) = a*exp(-y/tau)+b where a and b are constants from integration, and for simplicity can be set to 1 and zero respectively.

y(t)=exp(-y(t)/tau) **This is the growth rate of souls in hell as a function of time.

Essentially the same problem as having a sink with drain the empties at a certain rate, and a faucet pouring water in at a certain rate. If it drains faster than the water pours in, no problem. However, if water pours in faster than it empties, it overflows. It's a classic Calculus problem, see above. I should note, that when he says that number of souls changes exponentially he's already assuming this without stating it I believe.

Peace

:ghehe:


Thanks for the missing calculations ..lol. I just wanted to make you guys smile.

* Hides the cereal box in far off corner shelf.*

 

[Maina Deah]

Then that means there are many evil people than good people since hell cannot accommodate the souls that should be there

 

[Maina Deah]

I admit it's clever, mostly due to the assumptions. By making those assumptions, he determined the problem type and that the key is the sign of the exponential (which is the solution), which allowed him to determine if it would grow exponentially or decay exponentially. He was describing a 1st-order differential equation problem to which an exponential is always the solution, see below.

Note there's another way of writing this, not assuming rates, but discrete events for each soul entering hell, that requires additional terms. Really, I shouldn't be so quick to dismiss the constants.

dy/dt=-y(t)/tau_s

**This is the growth rate of souls in hell as a function of time.

y(t) =a_inf + (a_0 - a_inf)*exp(-y/tau_s)

Where a_inf, a_0, and tau_s (the time constant) are constants.


Edit: As always in math, if someone can, please check my work, it should take about less than a minute. Apologies the simplified version was incorrect as I assumed discrete events. Thanks

Essentially the same problem as having a sink with drain the empties at a certain rate, and a faucet pouring water in at a certain rate. If it drains faster than the water pours in, no problem. However, if water pours in faster than it empties, it overflows. It's a classic Calculus problem, see above. I should note, that when he says that number of souls changes exponentially he's already assuming this without stating it I believe.

Peace

you are something, I never seen a post that you made without numbers. Master physicist:worshippy:

 

[Avani 🥉]

Then that means there are many evil people than good people since hell cannot accommodate the souls that should be there

It was supposed to be funny... not a discussion thread.

 

[Maina Deah]

It was supposed to be funny...

It supposed to be funny? so I didn't get it, or I just think it differently:shrug:

 

[Anduril]

ehmm... kids...

anyways the guy deserves an 'A' his intelligence far exceeds others in his class...U_U

 

[Frozenstein]

It was supposed to be funny... not a discussion thread.

I like it... it was funny especially the end...

 

[leafeater]

[/spoiler]
:ghehe:


Thanks for the missing calculations ..lol. I just wanted to make you guys smile.

* Hides the cereal box in far off corner shelf.*

No problem, though I doubt they're in much demand, lol.

you are something, I never seen a post that you made without numbers. Master physicist:worshippy:

I'm more math than physics, but thanks and no need to worship, lol, we all have our specialties and weaknesses. I'm trying to avoid math/science these days, especially with Naruto, but I recognized this equation so I thought I'd put the solution down in case anyone was interested.

Peace

It was supposed to be funny... not a discussion thread.

What an odd chemistry test... I can honestly say I would've been disturbed a bit to see that question if I was given that on a test. I mean, was the professor drunk, lol?

I shall now smile...


Peace

 

[-Vendetta-]

I'd just like to point out that there is a town in Norway called Hell, so technically Hell freezes over every winter :|

 

[Avani 🥉]

I like it... it was funny especially the end...

xd

No problem, though I doubt they're in much demand, lol.

I hid it from you. You ate too much.

What an odd chemistry test... I can honestly say I would've been disturbed a bit to see that question if I was given that on a test. I mean, was the professor drunk, lol?

I shall now smile...


Peace

It might have been some inside joke(intellectual) in the class I guess.

I'd just like to point out that there is a town in Norway called Hell, so technically Hell freezes over every winter :|

lol...

 

[Hawker]

lmao at the end part..truly made me smile and he deserved an A

 

[Avani 🥉]

lmao at the end part..truly made me smile and he deserved an A

Mission accomplished.

 

[Avani 🥉]

Sore wa kakkoii desu. ( I hope I got it right :s )

That is awesome.

I know..
What was that you wrote above?

lol
deserved A

he deserved an A

Well he did get an A for keeping his wits. I would have been stummped!