brace yourself, long long (funny) long song.
7:00 in the evening watching somthing stupid on tv,
i'm zoned out on the sofa, when my wife comes in the room and sees me,
and she says is this behind the music with lenerd skinner?
i said i dont know hey its gettin late watcha wanna do for dinner?
she said i kinda had a big lunch so i'm not super hungry,
i said well you know baby i'm not starving either but i could eat.
she said what did you have in mind?
i said i dont know what about you?
she said i dont care, if your hungry lets eat!
i said thats what were going to do,
but first you gotta tell me what it is your hungry for!
she said let me think, whats left in our refrigerator?
i said theres tuna i know.
she said it went bad a week ago...
i said is the chilli ok?
she said you finished that yesterday!
i hoped up and i dont know do you want to get somthoing delivered?
shes like, why would i want to eat liver? i dont even like liver!
i'm like no. i said delivered.
shes like i herd you say liver!
i'm like, i should know what i said,
shes like whatever, i just dont want any liver!
well i was going to say somthing, but my cell phone started to ring.
now who could be calling me? i checked my caller id.
it was just couison larry calling for the third time today,
my wife said let it go to voice mail. i said, ok.
where were we? oh dinner right. so what do you want to do?
she said why dont you wip up somthing in the kitchen?
ya, i said why dont you?
then my wife said baby cant we just go out to dinner please?
i'm like no,
shes like yes,
i'm like no,
shes like yes,
i'm like no,
shes like yes, oh, heres your keys.
i step a little bit closer. say ok where you wanna go?
she said how about the ivry?
i said ya well i dont know, i dont feel like gettin all dressed up and eating expensive food.
she said olive garden? i said, nah, i'm not in the mood.
and burito king would make me gasy theres no doubt,
she said just forget about it,
i said no, i swear i'm going to take you out!
then i get an idea, i say i know what we'll do!
she says what?
i say guesse!
she says WHAT?!
i said were going to the drive through!
so we head out the front door,
open the garage doors,
then we open the car doors,
and we get in those car doors!
put my key in the egnition,
and then i turn it sideways,
then we fasten our seatbelts,
as we pull out the driveway,
then we head to the drive through,
were aproching the drive through,
heading up to the drive through,
getting close to the drive through,
now were here at the drive through,
were in line at the drive through,
finally here at the drive through,
did in metion the drive through?
here we are at the drive through line, me and her,
cars in front of us cars in back of us, all just waiting to order,
theres some idiot in a volvo, with his brights on behind me,
i lean out the window and scream hey what you tryin to do blind me?
my wife says maby we should park, we can just go eat inside.
i said i'm wearing bunny slippers, so i aint leaving this ride.
then a woman on a speaker bops, shes saying can i take your order please?
i said yes indead you sertanly can weed like two hambergurs with onions and chesse.
then my wife says baby, hold on i changed my mind!
i think i'm going to have a chicken sandwitch instead this time.
i said you always get a chesseburger, she said thats not what i'm hungry for,
i put my hand in my head and scream, i dont know who you are anymore!
then the woman on the speaker says, i dont have all day,
i said then take our orders, and we'll be on our way!
i want a chicken sandwitch, and i want a cheeseburger to.
do you want onions on that? i'm like ya, i already said that i do.
and we want curly fries, and don't you dare forget it!
and two medium root beers, no just one we'll split it.
then i said and now i guessin that your not to bright,
so read my back my order lets make sure you got it right.
1. you want a chicken sandwitch,
2. you want a cheeseburger,
3. curly fries and a large root bear-
stop, dont go no further!
i never ordered a large root bear i said mediam not large!
she said we'er havin a speical i supersized you at no charge!
oh oh oh....thats all i could say was oh.
then she said theres somthing eles that i really think you should know.
you can have unlimited refills for just a quarter more!
i said great exept were in the drive through, so what would i want that for?
then she said wait a minute, your voice sounds so familure hey is this paul?
and my wife is all like no that aint paule, now tell me whos this paul?
she said oh hes just some guy who gos to school woth me.
i sat behind him last year and i copy off of him in geomatry,
i said i know a guy named paul, he used to be my plumber.
he was prematurly bald and moved to pitsburg last summer!
hev also had blatter problomes and a really bad infection on his toe!
she said mister please you can stop right there thats way more thyan i needed to know!
and then we both were quite, and things got real intens!
and she said next window please that'll be $5.82!
so we inched ahead in line, moving paifully slow,
i got a little board so i turned on the radio! (rock music) click.
i turned it off because my wife was getting a head ache,
so we just sat there quitly for her shake.
and i looked at her,
and she looked back at me.
and i said, hey, i think you've got somthing in your teeth.
she turned away from me, and then turned back and said did i get it?
i'm like ya. well i mean, most of it, but hey you know dont sweat it.
then she said... how bout know? i said ya almost!
theres still a little bit there but dont worry it probably just a piece of toast!
now were at the pay window, or whatever you call it.
i put my hand in my pocket, i cant belive theres no walet!
and the lady at the windows like, well well well, that'll be 5.82!
i turn around to my wife, and say how much have you got on you?
she just rolls her eyes and say ill pay for this i guesse.
then she reatches into her purs and busts out the american express.
i hand it to the lady, and she says oh dear, gotta be cash only, we dont take credit cards here.
i take back the card and say gee really well that sucks.
trhats when i found out my wife was only carrying $3.00.
i though you were going to hit the atm today!
i never got around to it, so wheres your walet anyway?
i said never mind, just help me find some change.
now the lady at the windows looking at me kind of strange.
and she says mister please, we got to move this line along,
and i said hold your stinken hoarses lady, we wont be long.
and so i cheek out the glove box and the mat beneath my feet,
i found a nickle and an ash tray and a couple pennies and a dime in the space between the seat.
before long we had a little pile of coins of every sort,
the lady couts it up and say, your still about $1.00 short.
now my womans got this weird look frozen on her face.
she screams, you know i wasent even really hungry in the first place!
and so i turned around, to the casheir again,
i shruged and said ok, forget the chicken sandwich then.
so i pick up my change, pick up my recipt,
and i drive to the pick up window, now i just cant wait to eat.
then i see this achnie ridden kid about 16,
wearing a dorky name tag that says hello my name is eugine.
he hands me a paper back, i look him in the eye,
and i say to him hey eugine could i get some ketshup for my fries?
well i look at him,
and he looks at me,
and i look at him,
and he looks at me!
and i look at him,
and he looks at me,
and he says i'm, sorry, what did you want again?
i said ketshup, and he said, oh yes right!
just blacked out there for a second, i'm really kind of burnt tonight,
and so he hands me the ketshup, and now were finally driving away!
and the food is driving me mad with its entoxicating boqet!
i'm starving to deth by the time we pull up at the trafic light,
i said baby give me that burger, i just got to have a bite!
and so she reatches in the bag, and pulls out the burger,
and he hands me the burger, and i pick up the burger,
i unwrap the paper, i bite into those buns,
and i just cant belive it, they forgot the onions.
-trapped in the drive through weird al
