Nothing Is What It Seems Chapter 11
- Thread starter Seffy
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Cooldragon
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Reborn
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You mean you one amazing video game came out that you dominated through in like four days right
I kind of feel the whole love thing is between Lizz and Vince is being a little drawn out. It's a little too...explosive, idk if I would use that as an absolute term but you get what I'm saying. I feel there would be more of an impact if they were still in denial until a more pivitol point came around and it would be more of an impact (you get what I'm saying?)
It's too late now so life must continue regardless. I was wondering when you were going to get back to Gabriel's story. I mean we went from chap 1-3 being Gabriel to 4+ being about Lizz and Vince for the most part. I understand it's a journey but GABE NEEDS SCREEN TIME TOO :T_T: he's the reason I read this :T_T:
(that and it's amazing overall so :shrug
Nothing less then amazing though Wove you sensei <3
Yeah I know I feel like I steer away from Gabriel however he really is just a kid who is only epic when the time calls for it. He will have his spot light, but there are things that have to happen for things to be awesome. Without that riding the line of life and death, he really does just get in the way, as Vincent has said before. He's had some training but he's no expert like the others when it comes to the battles that they have fought.You mean you one amazing video game came out that you dominated through in like four days right
I kind of feel the whole love thing is between Lizz and Vince is being a little drawn out. It's a little too...explosive, idk if I would use that as an absolute term but you get what I'm saying. I feel there would be more of an impact if they were still in denial until a more pivitol point came around and it would be more of an impact (you get what I'm saying?)
It's too late now so life must continue regardless. I was wondering when you were going to get back to Gabriel's story. I mean we went from chap 1-3 being Gabriel to 4+ being about Lizz and Vince for the most part. I understand it's a journey but GABE NEEDS SCREEN TIME TOO :T_T: he's the reason I read this :T_T:
(that and it's amazing overall so :shrug
Nothing less then amazing though Wove you sensei <3
Everything is connected and you have to also keep in mind, this isn't first person pov. it's third person ominscent (i think it's called where the person knows everything and concentrates on others, not just one character.) if it were A 1st person pov then yes I would agree with you, however it's not and everything is still connected. Hence the reason why I show what's going on with Elizabeth. Her, Vincent, and Gabriel are the most important characters in this story.
When I turn this into an actual novel, the love portion will be dragged out more as I will add more things to it. However, it's not really that important, the denial part since they spent their whole lives living in denial. I have actually been thinking about making a prequel for those two (childhood era)
Reborn
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Yeah, unlike Kiyoshi who is pure badassness in a tiny body
I think you're right about the third person thing, I'm not sure myself but I could ask my english teacher tomorrow.
I get what you're saying with the love aspect, honestly, this type of story being an adventure sort of thing. There is usually romance and heavy hitting drama in it I guess, it's not bad though I was just stating my personal piece about it
Obviously Gabe, Vince, and Lizz are the most important characters
they came in in the 4th chapter and Michael and Sophia just seem like fillers who came in at some point (I have a feeling Michael's going to die for some reason :shrug: call it a guess idk)You still did great sensei.
Sophia is the only one that is a filler.Yeah, unlike Kiyoshi who is pure badassness in a tiny body
I think you're right about the third person thing, I'm not sure myself but I could ask my english teacher tomorrow.
I get what you're saying with the love aspect, honestly, this type of story being an adventure sort of thing. There is usually romance and heavy hitting drama in it I guess, it's not bad though I was just stating my personal piece about it
Obviously Gabe, Vince, and Lizz are the most important characters
You still did great sensei.
(there's a little bone for u lol) I'm pretty sure that's what it's called, but I'm also trying to stick to realism here as well as fantasy. Gabriel's skills pale in comparison because of all the people around him who excel at this sort of thing. Gabriel I guess is more of an emotional fighter, but I will get into that more later.Yes the romance is unusual and it did have some drama and jealousy, but the truth is they've always known how they felt about the other, while they showed everyone else their denial for it. You give a toy to a two year old and then another two year old takes it from them when they aren't playing with it, they will naturally claim stake to it. As shown between the two. Jealousy does crazy things to people
Just keep an open mind because all the stones have been set for an epic climax and many WTH moments. Just trust me, if I didn't know how the story plot then I would take what you said into consideration, just trust dear old sensei
lol
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*Magical Realism is what it's called (just learned about it in English a few weeks agoSophia is the only one that is a filler.
Yes the romance is unusual and it did have some drama and jealousy, but the truth is they've always known how they felt about the other, while they showed everyone else their denial for it. You give a toy to a two year old and then another two year old takes it from them when they aren't playing with it, they will naturally claim stake to it. As shown between the two. Jealousy does crazy things to people
Just keep an open mind because all the stones have been set for an epic climax and many WTH moments. Just trust me, if I didn't know how the story plot then I would take what you said into consideration, just trust dear old sensei
)I understand what you're saying though, I can't wait to see how the climax
Good Night.
lol*Magical Realism is what it's called (just learned about it in English a few weeks ago
I understand what you're saying though, I can't wait to see how the climax
Good Night.
I'm glad and I promise you, it will be epic Night :hug:
wow!awsoooooooooooooooome,I'm very very proud of you little sis,I am actually think of a beautiful present for my smart sister,you can choose if you have something in your mind
now let me back to the story:
I really loved these stuctures and the words you've used:
1.((Vincent gritted his teeth, trying to calm himself))
2,((The impact of the punch sent Michael flying back into a tree, a few yards away))
I also realy enjoyed all the conversation in the first partI mean the one starting with
((Vincent glanced at Gabriel, seeing him staring at the stars with Sophia. “Who?” He asked softly................................................................................
and finishing with : ((No.” Vincent said softly as he turned his back to Michael and closed his eyes for some much needed rest.))
it's so touchy,I could feel it all,all the single words and expresions.excellent job little sis
~With Elizabeth~ was more than epic tone could easily understands that the structures are getting stronger and srronger,it was like I'm reading one of oxfords bookworms serious,the explanation and describtion of each and every scene is pure and classy.
I cant help waiting to see what willl happen to the charactors?
lots of love from iran sis,you're the best Sarah nee-sama
now let me back to the story:
I really loved these stuctures and the words you've used:
1.((Vincent gritted his teeth, trying to calm himself))
2,((The impact of the punch sent Michael flying back into a tree, a few yards away))
I also realy enjoyed all the conversation in the first partI mean the one starting with
((Vincent glanced at Gabriel, seeing him staring at the stars with Sophia. “Who?” He asked softly................................................................................
and finishing with : ((No.” Vincent said softly as he turned his back to Michael and closed his eyes for some much needed rest.))
it's so touchy,I could feel it all,all the single words and expresions.excellent job little sis
~With Elizabeth~ was more than epic to
ne could easily understands that the structures are getting stronger and srronger,it was like I'm reading one of oxfords bookworms serious,the explanation and describtion of each and every scene is pure and classy.I cant help waiting to see what willl happen to the charactors?
lots of love from iran sis,you're the best Sarah nee-sama
iamkawaii08
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yay!!!!! an update!!! aww I feel so sorry for Vincent..>.>
and yay!! at last Gab's mom!!! :T_T:
great chappy again sis!!! <3
and yay!! at last Gab's mom!!! :T_T:
great chappy again sis!!! <3
lol ty and yes as the tenison starts to build, it does appear to get better and stronger structure. Glad you liked it ^_^wow!awsoooooooooooooooome,I'm very very proud of you little sis,I am actually think of a beautiful present for my smart sister,you can choose if you have something in your mind
now let me back to the story:
I really loved these stuctures and the words you've used:
1.((Vincent gritted his teeth, trying to calm himself))
2,((The impact of the punch sent Michael flying back into a tree, a few yards away))
I also realy enjoyed all the conversation in the first partI mean the one starting with
((Vincent glanced at Gabriel, seeing him staring at the stars with Sophia. “Who?” He asked softly................................................................................
and finishing with : ((No.” Vincent said softly as he turned his back to Michael and closed his eyes for some much needed rest.))
it's so touchy,I could feel it all,all the single words and expresions.excellent job little sis
~With Elizabeth~ was more than epic to
I cant help waiting to see what willl happen to the charactors?
lots of love from iran sis,you're the best Sarah nee-sama
Yeah I know poor Vincent!! :T_T:
*hugs Gbariel's mom* I'm so sorry that they had to be cruel to you!
<3 ty glad you enjoyed it
dragongoku
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