No, you aren't imagining things

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So RL's being unexpectedly kind to me all of a sudden, and I might have time for a good ol' fashioned beatdown. Whoever accepts the battle [and I would really prefer it if it's someone around about my level, let's say] please excuse me if I don't reply for a while in between moves.

Anyone up?
 
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Coolio. I'm using Deadpool; make the rules and pick the terrain, and I'll go first because I'm awesome like that and you're not so you can't go first because I said so. O_O





Psst...any changes in the rules I should know about? >_> <_<
 

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Yeah, I should know that, shouldn't I?
But then, we didn't do anything on the site recently.
No?
No.
What about the one where we rescued a princess and she repaid us with some hot-
THAT was a dream.

~ Even as he stands firm, facing his craven enemy with daring, courage, determination, guts, willpower, panache, and an overwhelming hunger[1], our HEROIC HERO [2] Deadpool brings up his hand, from where a red bandanna has suddenly appeared[3] and ties it solemnly about his head. Looking his odious opponent in the oculars, our HERO stands firm. ~

YOU!

~ Unbeknownst to the cowardly cretin facing him, our HERO has activated his secret technique, it's effects invisible because of his absolute awesomeness[4] ~

( Heiki X Puroguramu ) Weapon X Program
Type: Defensive/Supplementary
Rank: Forbidden
Range: Self-affecting
Chakra: 50
Damage: N/A

A Kaguya technique unique only to Deadpool, he instantly transforms his entire body into dense bone. The bone cells are accelerated in their growth so much that they are continually dying and being born, keeping Deadpool's mind and body in a state of perpetual regenerative flux. This causes his signature mental instability, which causes his brain to continually change its cells leading to him being unaffected by mind-based techniques or illusions. The bone is not as dense as maximum possible, but it remains roughly of the hardness of steel.
As his entire body is turned to constantly regenerating bone, fire, that depends on burning cells to death to hurt people is useless against him, as his bone regenerates at the high speed of Kaguya bone regeneration. If depending solely on this technique, techniques involving judicious application of heat to dry him out might cause unconsciousness or death.
Lightning can still slice him open if of sufficient strength ( above A-rank ), but its paralysis or shocking ability is lost as his nerve cells are made of bone now. The lightning must be aimed to remove his head for a killshot, if depending solely on this technique.
Water and Earth that depend on blunt force trauma are highly ineffective against him, due to his durability and regeneration. However, death by suffocation or drowning are still possible if he is relying solely on this technique.
Unlike lightning, wind is ineffective even though it slices, as lightning is able to kill nearby cells temporarily due to its heat while wind does not affect them and hence allows his near-instant regeneration to heal. A lack of air will kill him though, if relying solely on this technique.
Aside from decapitation, drowning, suffocation or overheating, indirect methods of death such as strangulation, hanging, etcetera can still bypass this technique.
Poisons, toxic gases or corrosives only affect him if they are targeted to damage bone, naturally, and work fast enough to overcome his regeneration.
Physical blunt force attacks are useless but slicing kenjutsu attacks that are strong enough to decapitate greater-than-steel hardness can kill him, if depending solely on this.
- This technique may be activated only once per battle, lasting for the rest of the battle but it cannot be deactivated
- Upon activating this technique, Deadpool cannot utilize any elemental techniques whatsoever above A rank, nor does his state of permanent flux allow him to take in natural energy or open the Inner Gates for the rest of the battle. He can, however, use Sound, as that is not an elemental chakra nature.
- As he cannot draw blood, Deadpool is rendered unable to summon.
- Deadpool cannot create more than one clone per use of the clone technique after activation of this. The clone will not have this technique activated and it cannot ever activate this.

~ Without pause, and with a flourish of his hands that brings a pink lollipop into them[5] he tosses it, pointy end first, at the wretched warrior warring with him, while rushing him in close range, driving an avenging fist into his solar plexus. ~

SHORYUKEN!
We've always wanted to say that.

Narrator's Notes:
[1] - Hunger for tacos, not battle
[2] - Phrase trademarked; all rights reserved
[3] - Via the use of Clothing and Props summoning seals
[4] - Actually because the full body spandex obscures the changes
[5] - See [3]
 
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Lord of Kaos

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Watching the strange man speak, Akuma leans his head to the right, frowning slightly. Such insolence needed to be eradicated. Activating Satsui no Hado, Akuma draws several kunai at the lollipops incoming towards him, deflecting them while flipping to the side. As he flips, he gathers wind chakra in his mouth and releases a burst of wind aimed at Deadpool, intending to blast him backwards with great force.

Fūton: Renkuudan) - Wind Style: Drilling Wind Bullet
Rank: A
Type:Attack
Range:Short-Long
Chakra Cost:30
Damage Points:60
Description: Originally Gaara's technique, different characters will need to perform handseals in order to imbue the large amount of chakra needed into thier lungs. The user will then pound thier stomach to increase the pressure as they release a huge spiraling sphere of wind, which is strong enough to do major damage to even a Summoning like Gamabunta.
 

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Watching the strange man speak, Akuma leans his head to the right, frowning slightly. Such insolence needed to be eradicated. Activating Satsui no Hado, Akuma draws several kunai at the lollipops incoming towards him, deflecting them while flipping to the side. As he flips, he gathers wind chakra in his mouth and releases a burst of wind aimed at Deadpool, intending to blast him backwards with great force.

Fūton: Renkuudan) - Wind Style: Drilling Wind Bullet
Rank: A
Type:Attack
Range:Short-Long
Chakra Cost:30
Damage Points:60
Description: Originally Gaara's technique, different characters will need to perform handseals in order to imbue the large amount of chakra needed into thier lungs. The user will then pound thier stomach to increase the pressure as they release a huge spiraling sphere of wind, which is strong enough to do major damage to even a Summoning like Gamabunta.
Ooh, eradicate my insolence, I'm so scared.
And there's our obligatory fourth wall breaking!
Speaking of breaking, did he just...break wind at us?
You juvenile...juvenile.
I think he did.
Do something about it.
Don't want to.... MUMMY!

~ Screaming a cry[1], our HEROIC HERO is caught flush by the attack, sending him flying backwards into the distance, eerily reminiscent of a duo of incompetent villains and their talking cat[2]. The wind shreds the front of our HERO's suit, but his awesomeness[3] protects him from being harmed. Standing up, he gestures bravely at his odiferous opposition. ~

You want to play with wind? TAAAAAAKE....THIS!

~ In a flash, our HERO makes three handseals, activating the technique listed below. Also, to confuse the imbecilic idiot facing him[4] he pulls out two Japanese wood-and-paper foldable fans, and begins waving them around wildly, as if blowing wind back at his terrified target. ~

( Fuuton: Koshokeidai ) - Wind Release: Gallows Frame
Type: Offensive
Rank: B
Range: Short-Long
Chakra: 20
Damage: 40
Description:
A simple but effective wind technique for assassinations, the user makes three handseals causing the wind around the target's throat to form itself into a noose that suddenly binds the target's throat and lifts them up a metre, leaving them dangling - much like they have been hanged. This technique is particularly useful for taking out weak opponents or clones, but any experienced ninja will have enough time even after he is "hanged" to pull off a technique of some sort to free himself. The Byakugan can spot the chakra forming around the throat, and hence Hyuuga have more time to prepare a counter. Also, the Sharingan can spot the chakra forming - but unlike the Byakugan, since they cannot see in every direction and are likely to be staring at their opponent instead of at their own neck, still only have the same time as normal ninja - though this is, as stated before, sufficient.

Narrator's Notes:
[1] - A battlecry, definitely not a cry of fear.
[2] - There's the obligatory crossover reference.
[3] - Actually his Weapon X technique.
[4] - Or possibly just out of insanity
 

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HEY ADMINS! INFRACT THESE TWO LAWBREAKERS! Isn't there like a rule on reviving dead threads? :p

Yeah, we'll have our fights soon, Lili, Kaos ^_^
 
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