Need Help with lyrics

[Trollo Lucilfer]

Of course you can. To what music do you listen?

No you can't just:

There were a couple typos/poor grammar/syntactical errors. I've bolded them for you to fix.

i mean it's a song who cares about grammar.

 

[Trollo Lucilfer]

i understand, I have to make it more original

Do whatever you like dude!

 

[NarutAwesome]

Do whatever you like dude!

yeah , i hear ya, just taking in everyone thoughts

 

[Ndlovu]

To be honest when it comes to song writing honesty is mostly the best policy, nowadays the over use of typically done metaphors and even the use of them is wearing thin.. I think you aren't bad but the second stanza/pre-chorus or even if its still part of your 1st verse need to be more earnest, sometimes simple and honest works way better..(easier said than done )spread the metaphors out more... Then use a potent one in the last line... 1st part isn't bad, the second needs work.. ( sorry it is just my opinion ) feel it more than think it.. It kind of seems like you were pulling the words out in a sense instead of letting flow out.. If you know what I mean.. but keep writing don't stop.. Keep pushing hard..

 

[Trollo Lucilfer]

To be honest when it comes to song writing honesty is mostly the best policy, nowadays the over use of typically done metaphors and even the use of them is wearing thin.. I think you aren't bad but the second stanza/pre-chorus or even if its still part of your 1st verse need to be more earnest, sometimes simple and honest works way better..(easier said than done )spread the metaphors out more... Then use a potent one in the last line... 1st part isn't bad, the second needs work.. ( sorry it is just my opinion ) feel it more than think it.. It kind of seems like you were pulling the words out in a sense instead of letting flow out.. If you know what I mean.. but keep writing don't stop.. Keep pushing hard..

I know where that (easier said than done ) came from, it's a song made by Eazy-e right?

 

[NarutAwesome]

To be honest when it comes to song writing honesty is mostly the best policy, nowadays the over use of typically done metaphors and even the use of them is wearing thin.. I think you aren't bad but the second stanza/pre-chorus or even if its still part of your 1st verse need to be more earnest, sometimes simple and honest works way better..(easier said than done )spread the metaphors out more... Then use a potent one in the last line... 1st part isn't bad, the second needs work.. ( sorry it is just my opinion ) feel it more than think it.. It kind of seems like you were pulling the words out in a sense instead of letting flow out.. If you know what I mean.. but keep writing don't stop.. Keep pushing hard..

thanks bro, that was advice from the heart, thanks

 

[Ndlovu]

thanks bro, that was advice from the heart, thanks

No problem at all...

I know where that (easier said than done ) came from, it's a song made by Eazy-e right?

To be honest.. I wasn't intending on quoting anyone.. I just said that because I am speaking from experience... Nothing more and Nothing less..

 

[Trollo Lucilfer]

No problem at all...



To be honest.. I wasn't intending on quoting anyone.. I just said that because I am speaking from experience... Nothing more and Nothing less..

I don't know:
[video=youtube;tFJQlFvkmQw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFJQlFvkmQw[/video]

 

[Ndlovu]

I don't know:
[video=youtube;tFJQlFvkmQw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFJQlFvkmQw[/video]

Ha ha ha ha ha lol... I can clearly see why you said that...( Don't blame you in the slightest ) I don't know the song.. But seems like I stole that big time... O well.. What has been done before, will come to pass again...

 

[Trollo Lucilfer]

Ha ha ha ha ha lol... I can clearly see why you said that...( Don't blame you in the slightest ) I don't know the song.. But seems like I stole that big time... O well.. What has been done before, will come to pass again...

Oh yeah!