-Yard-
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NB Court Created by Sharingdork
Written By Yard & Howard
----------
Setting: Court room.
Case: Delta vs Narutobase
Judge - Caliburn
Delta's Lawyer - Yard
Prosecutor - Howard
Court Stenographer - Sharingdork
Delta: I told you guys I'd take you to court and now here we are!
Caliburn: Wait what why exactly are we here?
Yard: F*ck am I doing here I thought I told you guys I quit. I remember burning a loooooooot of bridges even took a dump in Sc-... I mean dumped my-... cj thread.
Howard: I thought we weren't supposed to talk about the shoes.
Yard: Exnay on the Scorpseh shoeseh.
Howard: Both of those words start and end with S so pig latin doesn't really work.
Yard: No one cares about Lili's made up jutsu names.
Howard: I think you should give a speech on Nexus's behalf
Yard: I'm not good at starting speeches tho...
Howard: Sigh, just do it god damn it or I'll have to.
Yard: Fine.
Yard walks up to the mic
Um.. D- Did you know that the original name for Pac-Man was Puck-Man? You'd think it was because he looks like a hockey puck but it actually comes from the Japanese phrase 'Paku-Paku,'which means to flap one's mouth open and closed. They changed it because they thought Puck-Man would be too easy to vandalize, you know, like people could just scratch off the P and turn it into an F or whatever. Anyway, Nexus will be remembered and loved...
Sharingdork: Look I know I'm the court stenographer but do I really have to type out all that bullshit.
Caliburn: Yes every word and for that quip you can type it twice.
Delta: Wait I thought Scorps was on trial what's with the heartfelt Nexus speech? Let's get back to the situation at hand I mean Scorps seriously hurt me very very mentally.
Scorps: As if you weren't already mentally damaged.
Delta: SEEEE!? SEEE!?
Caliburn: Scorps reel it back there buddy.
Howard grabs the mic
Howard: What Yard is trying to say is Nexus couldn't deal with being a judge of the court and now lives in Sunnyside rivers, by his own will.
Yard: Is that why he was escorted by men in white coats?
Howard: Yard they said not to talk about that remember the flashy thingy and the memory loss?
Yard: Wait what?
Howard: Exactly.
Caliburn: I guess you'll have to take the stand Scorps.
Yard: But won't his legs get tired?
Scorps: Okay.
Delta: WHERE WERE YOU ON THE NIGHT OF MY CONCEPTION!?
Scorps: Objection, what does this have to do with the case?
Caliburn: Sustained.
Yard: Wow so he'll have to continue standing? Don't blame me if his legs fall asleep.
Delta: OVERULED!
Caliburn: I'm the judge, jury and executioner I suggest you pipe down.
Delta: Sorry I guess I've been watching too much Boston Legal lately.
Yard: Wait why am I here again if Delta is defending himself?
Howard: Same reason I'm here Yard, nostalgia.
Delta: I'd like to add these screens into evidence as exhibit B
Yard: Yo dawg I heard you like screens so we put a screen inside your screen so you can screen while you screen.
Howard: No Yard he said EXHIBIT not XZIBIT.
Yard: Yeah that's the reference silly Howard.
Caliburn: Fine
Caliburn pulls out a screen projector
Caliburn: Here we see delta flaming Scorps
Delta: ENHANCE!
Caliburn: and here he's flaming Ira
Delta: ENHANCE
Caliburn: and here he's flaming me
Delta: ENHA-
Caliburn: WILL YOU STOP THAT ALREADY!?
Yard: This isn't CSI Delta do we look like we know what a jpeg is?
Ira: Yeah, using things you see on T.V in court doesn't exactly get you far.
Yard: Is anyone going to mention the blood in the corner from the last Christmas special or are we just going to leave that there?
Howard: Wasn't Pineapple the janitor?
Caliburn: And that's why it's still a mess. Anyway my ban hammer has been on the frits lately. I'm not sure what Nexus did to it but it's no longer perma banning people.
The camera pans to the left and Howard and Yard are making PbnJ sandwiches using the ban hammer to spread the ingredients.
Yard: Wasn't me.
Howard: But they got us on camera.
Yard: Wasn't me.
Howard: But they're right there.
Yard: Wasn't me.
At this point Yard drops the ban hammer it being covered in both peanut butter and jelly.
Howard: Shhhhhhhhhhh Yard.
Yard: Wasn't me.
Scorps: So what actually just happened?
Yard: I think Ira was about to take the stand.
Ira: Cali, don't leave me alone with that guy.
Caliburn: I don't see what's so bad.
Ira looks to yard who's dancing oddly.
Caliburn: Yeah that's weird. Anyways, you still have to take the stand.
Ira: Fine -.-
Ira takes the stand as yard stand in front of her.
Yard: Tell me, what was talking to Delta like?
Ira: All was well until he mentioned the whole "taking nb to court" thing. Honestly his ideas of law seem to come from TV shows, I mean, this isn't CSI Miami.
Yard & Howard stands before Ira with suits and sunglasses on.
Yard: & Howard: Definitely not.
Delta: So tell us Ira what was it that you said to me!? Hmmmm hmmmm?
Yard: Hush Delta I'm speaking for you.
Ira: I plead the fifth. See Delta anyone can pretend to know the lingo
As she's speaking Yard cuts her off.
Yard: OF JACK!? You see her testimony cannot be trusted she is an alcoholic.
Howard cuts Yard off before he can finish speaking.
Howard:
Yard: NO! I told you we're not doing that.
Caliburn: I am getting exceedingly tired of this foolishness. If you people cannot conduct yourselves properly in this courtroom I will have you removed from the premises you see I am the judge, I choose who can be here and who can speak. I will not have you people making a mockery of this fine establishment. Long ago Nexus created this court so that the average members like yourselves could speak your minds and publicly denote your feelings about any rulings against you by the staff but if you cannot conduct yourselves with the dignity needed to make this court run smoothly then I will shut it down faster than Howard's customs. Now who's turn was it to speak and you better not all answer at once and you better not make a disgrace of this court again or I will have each and everyone of you removed.
Howard stands up in front of Caliburn with a pirate hat on and yells
Howard: Now back to the good part!
Yard: I guess you could say I was-.... over ruled. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Howard: What are you doing.
Yard: You know everytime a CSI episode opens the guy says a witty one-liner then that "ahh" sound plays.
Broly: They need to stop making references to CSI it's not funny. It was never funny.
Penguin: Did you just break the fourth wall?
Broly: I break all the walls Penguin alll of them.
Yard: Alright, I would like to call Caliburn to the stand
Sharingdork: Dun Dun Duuuun
Caliburn: I refuse, I'm the judge, and I have no connection to this case.
Yard: Oh. Then I call Ira to the stand!
Ira: I'm already here.
Yard: Um..uhh...Scorps! I call you to the stand.
Scorps: You've already called me up there once, didn't you get enough info from that?
Yard: Crap, eh, screw it, Howard I'm tagging you in. Try not to make Delta look too bad, not exactly difficult atm.
Howard: I would like to bring a witness to the stand. Someone Delta has done great harm to.
A man comes through the court room doors in a wheel chair. The man has a sad look in his eyes, his hands shaking.
Delta: Who is that?
Howard: Surely you'd remember what you did to poor old Daemon.
Daemon takes the stand and Howard approaches it.
Howard: MR. Daemon, can I call you that?
Daemon: Y-yes.
Howard: Do you recognize that man with the blue hair?
Howard points to Delta. Daemon looks over to Delta and fear strikes his eyes as his hands begin to shake more, he covers his eyes and yells loudly.
Daemon: Yes! It's him! Oh god, why, why did he have to do it Wh-h-hy!?
Daemon begins to sob loudly.
Howard: What exactly did Delta do to you, MR. Daemon.
Daemon begins to speak in an innocent yet sad voice as he wipes the tears from his eyes.
Daemon: It was 8:30 am. I had been up all night with Broly and Chris in my apartment.
Flash back to the apartment.
Setting: Daemon's apartment, 8:30AM, living room. We see Daemon playing video games with Madara. Broly is going in and out of the bathroom with a camera phone in his left hand, trying to find a ruler and suddenly just takes a banana inside
Broly: F*ck it, she wants something for scale, I'll just use this shit. B*tches love Bananas.
Daemon to Madara: Why can't we just, have peace with people ya know? Like, I don't think anyone is better than another. I don't see why people feel the need to be better than others.
Madara: They feel that way because of usually not getting much attention as a child. Sometimes people grow up to be dysfunctional in real life situations because their ego's get in the way of their actual potential. Don't look down on those with high ego's, they've just got their own mental problems. Feel sorry for them, not anger.
Daemon: You're right, thanks for coming over and helping me settle into my new apartm-
Suddenly a man breaks through the window with a crowbar in his hand
Delta: WHERE'S THE DRUGS, I SAW THE BOXES, GIVE ME THE DRUGS!
Daemon: I don't know what you're talking about sir, my friend and I here are christians and just got back from a charity drive to move into the apartment her-
Delta: I don't give a F*ck about your lies! Give me the drugs!
Delta picks up a cat from the floor with his right hand and positions the crow bar near it's head
Daemon: No! Not snowball!
Delta: Give me the drugs or snowball get's the crowbar!
Madara: Okay I only have about 3lbs in my backpack but if you wait till about 10 my man Jonny get's off work at subway and he can hook you u-
Setting: Court room
Daemon: and that's when he killed Snowball. Chris gave him his backpack but he said it wasn't enough, something about boxes. I told him we had just moved in, but he kept saying it was lies. When we kept telling him, he took it as resisting and then he broke my legs.
Delta: I DON'T EVEN KNOW THIS DUDE!
Daemon cowers in fear
Howard: Shame on you Delta
Yard: What the F*ck Howard!? I told you not to make him look too bad!
Howard: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh that's what I was supposed to do. Well I just don't like him.
Howard: Okay Daemon, you may leave the stand.
Daemon strolls past Delta looking at him and giving him the finger as he places his hands on the wheels of his wheel chair and rolls the wheels to go down the isle of the court room. He whispers to Delta
Daemon: Eat shit, son! haha!
Delta begins to frantically point at Daemon.
Delta: I don't even know this guy!
Caliburn: That's enough Delta. Shame on you for putting such a nice person through so much pain.
Howard: Mhmm. Yeah. Shame on you Delta.
Caliburn: Now I think we have enough evidence to just be done with this and shadow ban Delta, aka, ghost him aka place him under the NB ignore list. That is unless Yard can somehow prove his innocence or justify his actions. Anything you want to say Yard
Yard stands up from his desk.
Yard:
Howard: One look from you and he would fall from grace.
Sharingdork: And that would wipe the smile right from his face.
All: Do you remember when we used to dance?
Everyone claps twice then stomps.
All: One thing lead to another we were young.
Caliburn: No! None of that-... shame on you.
Caliburn throws his hammer at Delta and just like that Delta vanishes.
Every old chapter for whoever wants to read it.
Written By Yard & Howard
----------
Setting: Court room.
Case: Delta vs Narutobase
Judge - Caliburn
Delta's Lawyer - Yard
Prosecutor - Howard
Court Stenographer - Sharingdork
Delta: I told you guys I'd take you to court and now here we are!
Caliburn: Wait what why exactly are we here?
Yard: F*ck am I doing here I thought I told you guys I quit. I remember burning a loooooooot of bridges even took a dump in Sc-... I mean dumped my-... cj thread.
Howard: I thought we weren't supposed to talk about the shoes.
Yard: Exnay on the Scorpseh shoeseh.
Howard: Both of those words start and end with S so pig latin doesn't really work.
Yard: No one cares about Lili's made up jutsu names.
Howard: I think you should give a speech on Nexus's behalf
Yard: I'm not good at starting speeches tho...
Howard: Sigh, just do it god damn it or I'll have to.
Yard: Fine.
Yard walks up to the mic
Um.. D- Did you know that the original name for Pac-Man was Puck-Man? You'd think it was because he looks like a hockey puck but it actually comes from the Japanese phrase 'Paku-Paku,'which means to flap one's mouth open and closed. They changed it because they thought Puck-Man would be too easy to vandalize, you know, like people could just scratch off the P and turn it into an F or whatever. Anyway, Nexus will be remembered and loved...
Sharingdork: Look I know I'm the court stenographer but do I really have to type out all that bullshit.
Caliburn: Yes every word and for that quip you can type it twice.
Delta: Wait I thought Scorps was on trial what's with the heartfelt Nexus speech? Let's get back to the situation at hand I mean Scorps seriously hurt me very very mentally.
Scorps: As if you weren't already mentally damaged.
Delta: SEEEE!? SEEE!?
Caliburn: Scorps reel it back there buddy.
Howard grabs the mic
Howard: What Yard is trying to say is Nexus couldn't deal with being a judge of the court and now lives in Sunnyside rivers, by his own will.
Yard: Is that why he was escorted by men in white coats?
Howard: Yard they said not to talk about that remember the flashy thingy and the memory loss?
Yard: Wait what?
Howard: Exactly.
Caliburn: I guess you'll have to take the stand Scorps.
Yard: But won't his legs get tired?
Scorps: Okay.
Delta: WHERE WERE YOU ON THE NIGHT OF MY CONCEPTION!?
Scorps: Objection, what does this have to do with the case?
Caliburn: Sustained.
Yard: Wow so he'll have to continue standing? Don't blame me if his legs fall asleep.
Delta: OVERULED!
Caliburn: I'm the judge, jury and executioner I suggest you pipe down.
Delta: Sorry I guess I've been watching too much Boston Legal lately.
Yard: Wait why am I here again if Delta is defending himself?
Howard: Same reason I'm here Yard, nostalgia.
Delta: I'd like to add these screens into evidence as exhibit B
Yard: Yo dawg I heard you like screens so we put a screen inside your screen so you can screen while you screen.
Howard: No Yard he said EXHIBIT not XZIBIT.
Yard: Yeah that's the reference silly Howard.
Caliburn: Fine
Caliburn pulls out a screen projector
Caliburn: Here we see delta flaming Scorps
Delta: ENHANCE!
Caliburn: and here he's flaming Ira
Delta: ENHANCE
Caliburn: and here he's flaming me
Delta: ENHA-
Caliburn: WILL YOU STOP THAT ALREADY!?
Yard: This isn't CSI Delta do we look like we know what a jpeg is?
Ira: Yeah, using things you see on T.V in court doesn't exactly get you far.
Yard: Is anyone going to mention the blood in the corner from the last Christmas special or are we just going to leave that there?
Howard: Wasn't Pineapple the janitor?
Caliburn: And that's why it's still a mess. Anyway my ban hammer has been on the frits lately. I'm not sure what Nexus did to it but it's no longer perma banning people.
The camera pans to the left and Howard and Yard are making PbnJ sandwiches using the ban hammer to spread the ingredients.
Yard: Wasn't me.
Howard: But they got us on camera.
Yard: Wasn't me.
Howard: But they're right there.
Yard: Wasn't me.
At this point Yard drops the ban hammer it being covered in both peanut butter and jelly.
Howard: Shhhhhhhhhhh Yard.
Yard: Wasn't me.
Scorps: So what actually just happened?
Yard: I think Ira was about to take the stand.
Ira: Cali, don't leave me alone with that guy.
Caliburn: I don't see what's so bad.
Ira looks to yard who's dancing oddly.
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Caliburn: Yeah that's weird. Anyways, you still have to take the stand.
Ira: Fine -.-
Ira takes the stand as yard stand in front of her.
Yard: Tell me, what was talking to Delta like?
Ira: All was well until he mentioned the whole "taking nb to court" thing. Honestly his ideas of law seem to come from TV shows, I mean, this isn't CSI Miami.
Yard & Howard stands before Ira with suits and sunglasses on.
Yard: & Howard: Definitely not.
Delta: So tell us Ira what was it that you said to me!? Hmmmm hmmmm?
Yard: Hush Delta I'm speaking for you.
Ira: I plead the fifth. See Delta anyone can pretend to know the lingo
As she's speaking Yard cuts her off.
Yard: OF JACK!? You see her testimony cannot be trusted she is an alcoholic.
Howard cuts Yard off before he can finish speaking.
Howard:
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Yard: NO! I told you we're not doing that.
Caliburn: I am getting exceedingly tired of this foolishness. If you people cannot conduct yourselves properly in this courtroom I will have you removed from the premises you see I am the judge, I choose who can be here and who can speak. I will not have you people making a mockery of this fine establishment. Long ago Nexus created this court so that the average members like yourselves could speak your minds and publicly denote your feelings about any rulings against you by the staff but if you cannot conduct yourselves with the dignity needed to make this court run smoothly then I will shut it down faster than Howard's customs. Now who's turn was it to speak and you better not all answer at once and you better not make a disgrace of this court again or I will have each and everyone of you removed.
Howard stands up in front of Caliburn with a pirate hat on and yells
Howard: Now back to the good part!
Yard: I guess you could say I was-.... over ruled. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Howard: What are you doing.
Yard: You know everytime a CSI episode opens the guy says a witty one-liner then that "ahh" sound plays.
Broly: They need to stop making references to CSI it's not funny. It was never funny.
Penguin: Did you just break the fourth wall?
Broly: I break all the walls Penguin alll of them.
Yard: Alright, I would like to call Caliburn to the stand
Sharingdork: Dun Dun Duuuun
Caliburn: I refuse, I'm the judge, and I have no connection to this case.
Yard: Oh. Then I call Ira to the stand!
Ira: I'm already here.
Yard: Um..uhh...Scorps! I call you to the stand.
Scorps: You've already called me up there once, didn't you get enough info from that?
Yard: Crap, eh, screw it, Howard I'm tagging you in. Try not to make Delta look too bad, not exactly difficult atm.
Howard: I would like to bring a witness to the stand. Someone Delta has done great harm to.
A man comes through the court room doors in a wheel chair. The man has a sad look in his eyes, his hands shaking.
Delta: Who is that?
Howard: Surely you'd remember what you did to poor old Daemon.
Daemon takes the stand and Howard approaches it.
Howard: MR. Daemon, can I call you that?
Daemon: Y-yes.
Howard: Do you recognize that man with the blue hair?
Howard points to Delta. Daemon looks over to Delta and fear strikes his eyes as his hands begin to shake more, he covers his eyes and yells loudly.
Daemon: Yes! It's him! Oh god, why, why did he have to do it Wh-h-hy!?
Daemon begins to sob loudly.
Howard: What exactly did Delta do to you, MR. Daemon.
Daemon begins to speak in an innocent yet sad voice as he wipes the tears from his eyes.
Daemon: It was 8:30 am. I had been up all night with Broly and Chris in my apartment.
Flash back to the apartment.
Setting: Daemon's apartment, 8:30AM, living room. We see Daemon playing video games with Madara. Broly is going in and out of the bathroom with a camera phone in his left hand, trying to find a ruler and suddenly just takes a banana inside
Broly: F*ck it, she wants something for scale, I'll just use this shit. B*tches love Bananas.
Daemon to Madara: Why can't we just, have peace with people ya know? Like, I don't think anyone is better than another. I don't see why people feel the need to be better than others.
Madara: They feel that way because of usually not getting much attention as a child. Sometimes people grow up to be dysfunctional in real life situations because their ego's get in the way of their actual potential. Don't look down on those with high ego's, they've just got their own mental problems. Feel sorry for them, not anger.
Daemon: You're right, thanks for coming over and helping me settle into my new apartm-
Suddenly a man breaks through the window with a crowbar in his hand
Delta: WHERE'S THE DRUGS, I SAW THE BOXES, GIVE ME THE DRUGS!
Daemon: I don't know what you're talking about sir, my friend and I here are christians and just got back from a charity drive to move into the apartment her-
Delta: I don't give a F*ck about your lies! Give me the drugs!
Delta picks up a cat from the floor with his right hand and positions the crow bar near it's head
Daemon: No! Not snowball!
Delta: Give me the drugs or snowball get's the crowbar!
Madara: Okay I only have about 3lbs in my backpack but if you wait till about 10 my man Jonny get's off work at subway and he can hook you u-
Setting: Court room
Daemon: and that's when he killed Snowball. Chris gave him his backpack but he said it wasn't enough, something about boxes. I told him we had just moved in, but he kept saying it was lies. When we kept telling him, he took it as resisting and then he broke my legs.
Delta: I DON'T EVEN KNOW THIS DUDE!
Daemon cowers in fear
Howard: Shame on you Delta
Yard: What the F*ck Howard!? I told you not to make him look too bad!
Howard: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh that's what I was supposed to do. Well I just don't like him.
Howard: Okay Daemon, you may leave the stand.
Daemon strolls past Delta looking at him and giving him the finger as he places his hands on the wheels of his wheel chair and rolls the wheels to go down the isle of the court room. He whispers to Delta
Daemon: Eat shit, son! haha!
Delta begins to frantically point at Daemon.
Delta: I don't even know this guy!
Caliburn: That's enough Delta. Shame on you for putting such a nice person through so much pain.
Howard: Mhmm. Yeah. Shame on you Delta.
Caliburn: Now I think we have enough evidence to just be done with this and shadow ban Delta, aka, ghost him aka place him under the NB ignore list. That is unless Yard can somehow prove his innocence or justify his actions. Anything you want to say Yard
Yard stands up from his desk.
Yard:
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Howard: One look from you and he would fall from grace.
Sharingdork: And that would wipe the smile right from his face.
All: Do you remember when we used to dance?
Everyone claps twice then stomps.
All: One thing lead to another we were young.
Caliburn: No! None of that-... shame on you.
Caliburn throws his hammer at Delta and just like that Delta vanishes.
------------------------------------------------------------------
END
------------------------------------------------------------------
END
------------------------------------------------------------------
Every old chapter for whoever wants to read it.
Case I Part I :
Case I Part II :
Case I Part III :
Case II Part I :
Case II Part II :
Case III Part I :
Case III Part II :
Case III Part III :
Case IV Part I :
Case IV Part II :
Case IV Part III :
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Case I Part II :
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Case I Part III :
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Case II Part I :
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Case II Part II :
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Case III Part I :
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Case III Part II :
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Case III Part III :
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Case IV Part I :
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Case IV Part II :
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Case IV Part III :
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