Naruto 600 Chapter 3

wonderwho

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Chapter 3

At the same time, Yuri was starting the fight:

“Kids shouldn't play with guns” he had a scary voice, not kind like normally was.

“It's not because you are a weak girl that I will spare your cursed life” said the bald big guy.

The girl, hearing those words remembered her childhood.

-Flashback on-

“Yuri-chan. Your turn, introduce yourself” said the academy instructor.

The kids around her were whispering:

“She is the orphan kid... I heared she was cursed by the flowers ” said one kid to the other
near him.

“Yeah, I also heard about that” awsered the other kid.

“Silence please, let our new friend speak.” said the instructor.

“He...hel...lo, my name is Hana Yuri, i'm six and my dream is to become the best healer kunoichi ever”

“”How can a weak cursed girl heal?” asked one kid

The whole class started throwing pencils, rubbers and papers to the poor girl

-Flashback off-

Yuni said:

“You called me... weak girl? You said cursed life? You are not a lucky man” He started gathering some chakra.

“Wha...What is that??? This chakra...Your chakra looks like... what is this?”

“So, you can feel it, are your a sensor ninja? This chakra is the Nature life force, in other words, you will fight me and the whole nature”

“Are you stupid enough to reveal your secrets to the enemy?” asked the man.

“A man who will die in a few minutes can't be called an enemy” she awsered “Ryūketsu no bara (Bloody rose*)” A rose appeared in the ground near the bald guy and then started growing around him, with the spikes getting bigger to pierce the enemy, but he jumped to a safe spot and Yuri made the flower stop growing and disapears.

“Dammit! What is that girl? Doton: Taitan no shotto (Earth release: Titan's shot*)” He shoot a big rock from his bazooca.

“Tsuta: shirudo (Ivy: shield*) ” yuri created a shield made of ivys, being safe from the attack “Tsuta: muchi (Ivy: whip*)” The ivy created a whip and yuri grabbed it and used it to attack and bind his enemy “Toge (Thorns*)!” saying this thorns grown from the ivy, piercing the enemy leg and then he escaped, shooting against the ivy, making it leave him.

“What the hell?” screamed the guy “You demon! You are good... But you should have been fighting the weakest one... the one your sensei was fighting... But no... no one likes you. You are cursed! How do I know? Well, it's a present from me... Bun akumu (Minute nightmare*) ”

“How do you know all that, stop it!” Yuri wa sufferin. *focus Yuri, you were winning* she tought.

“Now: Doton: Taitan no shotto!” he shoot a new rock from his bazooca.

*Focus* she tought.

“Foooocus!!!” she was now awaken and the Taitan no shotto was reaching her “Genjutsu? I'm gonna kill you!” she were hitted by the shot of the bazooca, falling and making her bleed from the right arm, then shecreated more ivys to grab the enemy “You think that this genjutsu is better than mine?
That genjutsu just makes me see memories and fears... Since when was the jutsu in use? I know, since the beggining of the battle... It was used by someone else... Someone we didn't saw.
I felt it. Thats why he used it, like that I couldn't sence anything. Lets test my genjutsu now:
Yume no yōsei (Fairies' dream)” She created a red flower near the enemy's face and then the enemy entered in a sort of dream. The ivys leaved him and disappeared.

“Where am I?” the guy asked.

A bunch of red little flowers started growing around him and they turned into fairies. Then the fairies entered in his mouth.

“What was that? Am I dreaming? Ahh!” In his belly some grass started growing until all of his body was covered and pushed to underground by the grass.

“Well in the end, looks like my genjutsu was better... At least the fairies part... The rest is a living nightmare... the grass of the underworld. Now lets heal myself: Shukufuku no hana (Blessed flower*)” white little white flowers were grown in her wounded arm, healing it.

*Now I can use the nature comunication... The trees are telling me that Akira-sensei is fighting a different enemy now... He seems a bit tired... Let's help him, Takeshi is near but she didn't start fighting yet, let's go north, I can see if there are more enemies here, and then go help our sensei* and she released is chakra rider and went to help Akira-sensei.

At the same moment, in Takeshi's fight:

“Will you stop talking and fight? I don't want to kill you if you don't fight.”

“It's true, you are compatible with the strongest Furui hoshi, the star where Kyubi and Naruto Uzumaki are sealed.” said the red hair man.

_________

And thanks to Reborn, he gave me some new lands to explore...

Leave your comments please
 
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Reborn

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Very nice, there were a few grammatical/spelling errors, but nothing major that couldn't be fixed. The actual chapter itself was very well put together and it demonstrated a nice back story to Yuri. I'm hoping that you are going to expand on Yuri's past and also have that help in the development of her future character (her personality and her abilities)

I'm also anxious to see what you have in store for the other protagonists/antagonists you present in this series.

My two favorite parts of this chapter were the trigger words for Yuri (When she was called weak and a cursed girl)...I felt like the "cursed" part was the more sensitive of the two and it kept me wondering about how she was cursed. My second favoirite part was the end, where you went back to the the new arrival and he mentioned Naruto and some connection he made between the story despite this being so far ahead, in terms of the time setting.

Your battle with Yuri and the other shinobi was good. You had her "activated" with those trigger words that stuck deep in her and brought out her power, and then you turned it slightly to show the enemy's power to get the upperhand. How Yuri struggled with the genjutsu at first interested me, but when she did her own thing with the gen it made it feel like she was sort of new with genjutsu and that was another skill (outside of her healing and nature abilities) that is going to be developed, so I liked it.

Thanks for the acknowledgement but there was no need, I'm glad I could help. Keep me updated with your future chapters.
 
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wonderwho

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Very nice, there were a few grammatical/spelling errors, but nothing major that couldn't be fixed. The actual chapter itself was very well put together and it demonstrated a nice back story to Yuri. I'm hoping that you are going to expand on Yuri's past and also have that help in the development of her future character (her personality and her abilities)

I'm also anxious to see what you have in store for the other protagonists/antagonists you present in this series.

My two favorite parts of this chapter were the trigger words for Yuri (When she was called weak and a cursed girl)...I felt like the "cursed" part was the more sensitive of the two and it kept me wondering about how she was cursed. My second favoirite part was the end, where you went back to the the new arrival and he mentioned Naruto and some connection he made between the story despite this being so far ahead, in terms of the time setting.

Your battle with Yuri and the other shinobi was good. You had her "activated" with those trigger words that stuck deep in her and brought out her power, and then you turned it slightly to show the enemy's power to get the upperhand. How Yuri struggled with the genjutsu at first interested me, but when she did her own thing with the gen it made it feel like she was sort of new with genjutsu and that was another skill (outside of her healing and nature abilities) that is going to be developed, so I liked it.

Thanks for the acknowledgement but there was no need, I'm glad I could help. Keep me updated with your future chapters.
thanks
 

Train

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I like really the dialogue in your fights. And I agree with Cooldragon, I think you improved from chapter two.
Really liked Yuri's flashback.
There were some grammatical errors here and there, but I'm a grammar freak; it probably only bothers me.
If you ever need help editing / finding such grammatical errors, I can help. >.< !
 
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