My very first poem!

[Moss]

This is one I wrote several years ago actually! I just found it in an old box a couple of days ago and I thought, why not share it?
XD

My Heart sinks for thee,
Why won't you return to me?
I can no longer live without,
Your gorgeous smile and lovely pout.

I just wanted to say,
With you was my brightest day.
I had no fear, only love,
But then you flew like a dove;

I realized you had to be free,
Why didn't you return to me?


It kinda sucks, but I had no concept of syllables in poems, so my next one will definitely be better! If you wish, comment and criticize!

 

[-Raviel-]

Nice try .

 

[Moss]

Nice try .

XD lolwut?

 

[Bless Walker]

I love it...
If i couldnt read. You were just Trolled!

 

[Reflection]

Is that for me? :flowers

 

[Moss]

I love it...
If i couldnt read. You were just Trolled!

Erm, OK, then?

 

[-God of War-]

Well, a simple easy poem. So, not bad. Try using more words, making it more special and original.

 

[Itachl]

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[minatouzumaki97]

its a brave try keep up the good work u'll b William Carlos sumday

 

[-Raviel-]

XD lolwut?

would you rather I make a d!ck comment instead.......be grateful

 

[Alex storm]

Coool....
i love reading it!
very great try...keep it up

 

[Moss]

Coool....
i love reading it!
very great try...keep it up

Thanks!

This was done like 3/4 years ago, keep in mind.

 

[sagemodee]

by the time i started reading i felt sleepy so i went to sleep saying boring its a good try though.

 

[Moss]

by the time i started reading i felt sleepy so i went to sleep saying boring its a good try though.

Thanks, the poet inside of me is smiling

 

[Bless Walker]

by the time i started reading i felt sleepy so i went to sleep saying boring its a good try though.

I bet you cant write somehting better so GTFO! I heard your bad Engrish.

 

[BlacLord™]

Take thee's poem and stick on here, people generally give nice feedback.

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If you join, you may add me... (simpy3)

And remember, if you have a problem, always and I mean always blame Konohamaru.

 

[Hori]

impressed

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