Gaarafan12
Active member
Okay, so this is my first Fanfiction, and I will take into consideration all critiques and suggestions, but please... be nice 
I'm new to this.
With that said, I have to explain this, I wrote this without ever intending anyone to see it, so this first part is mainly a story line, and i'm sorry for that, it is very narative, and the first part is literaly just sentences laying out the background, up to where I actually start writing. IF anyone actually likes the story I will go back and actually write the begining, I have the story in mind I just haven't bothered to write it out. And there is no point wasting the time if no one likes it anyway! xd
IF anyone of you likes this, I will redo the first part, and post more periodically, I have a lot more...
*Note: there is now a part before this 'Part 0'!
The next day Naruto is walking on the island beach where he is met by kankuro who explains that Gaara looks weak for having so many people with him, but wouldn’t tell Naruto that because he is his friend. Kankuro asks Naruto to leave and take all three of his team with him.
Feeling bad for making Gaara look bad he heads back to the house to get Kakashi and Sakura and go.
When he realizes that Kankuro said to take all three of this teammates with him. This makes Naruto uneasy and reminds him of the villager who looked the same way when he greeted Gaara and was annoyed by Naruto’s team being with him.
On his way back to the house Naruto is stopped by Sakura who he talks to and then heads back to the house.
When he goes into the living room Gaara is standing and Kakashi is sitting on the couch reading his book. Kankuro is walking up to Gaara and Naruto feels strange and defensive against kankuro.
Naruto senses something is off about Kankuro’s chakra and runs to him, punches him and pins him against the wall. Kakashi jumps off the couch and Gaara begins to send his sand at Naruto.
Naruto yells at Gaara to stop and says it’s not Kankuro. Gaara and Kakashi look at Naruto like he’s gone insane and try to coak him to let Kankuro go. Kankuro curses at Naruto and asks what the hell he thinks he’s doing.
Naruto begins to explain the way kankuro talked to him and what he said about how Naruto should take his 3 teammates and leave and how Naruto sensed something was off with his chakra. Naruto tells Gaara he will let kankuro go if Gaara asks him a question only kankuro would know the answer to and he gets it right.
Gaara asks kankuro a question and kankuro gives a knowing smile then pushes Naruto off and goes after Gaara with a kuni knife, and the sand pushes him back into Naruto who punches him in the face and Kankuro disappears like a shadow clone.
After the fact Naruto takes up a defensive position in front of Gaara and yells at Kakashi to tell him who his father was. Gaara says Kakashi has been with him the whole time but Naruto tells Kakashi to answer the question.
Kakashi calmly answers “My father was known as the white fang of the leaf, he committed suicide when I was 13 years old.” Naruto relaxes a little and steps to the side of Gaara.
“Sorry I had to check!” Naruto exclaims. Putting his hands behind his head and looking through one eye at his sensei
“I understand now what that was all about?” Kakashi says bringing his book out again.
“Dude could you guys be any louder down here? I was finally getting some sleep!!” Kankuro sleepily walks down the stairs into the room. Naruto and Gaara look from one another than to Kakashi.
“Kankuro,” Gaara says, “What is the name of our sensei?” Kankuro looks at Gaara like he is bothering him.
“You mean Baki? What does he have to do with anything? Geeze you are all weird.” Gaara looks to Naruto to confirm the answer.
Naruto sighs in relief then his eyes go wide as he makes a shocking realization. “You’ve been asleep this whole time!? It’s two in the afternoon!! Someone just tried to kill your brother and you were sleeping??”
“Yes I’ve been asleep.” Kankuro states matter-of-factly. “Wait what did you say?”
“You heard me!! While you were off getting beauty sleep someone made a shadow clone of you and tried to kill Gaara!!” Gaara who had moved to the window crossed his arms and bowed his head in deep thought.
“We need to get Temari, Hannah and Sakura here so there are no more mix-ups while we figure out what just happened.” Kakashi says without looking up from his book.
“Temari is in the garden in the back. I will go get her.” Gaara says to himself more than anyone. Naruto is still explaining and arguing with Kankuro and doesn’t register Gaara’s words until he is out the door.
“Wait! Don’t you get it! You can’t just go off on your own!!” Naruto yells running after Gaara. Just as Gaara walks out the door Temari looks up from her book and three kuni with paper bombs land on the bench next to her. Gaara’s eyes widen with shock and he sends his sand to protect her a second before they go off. In the same moment more kuni bombs fall to the ground surrounding Gaara in a circle while his sand is with Temari. Naruto tackles Gaara and the paper bombs all go off.
Kakashi and Kankuro run out and Temari emerges from the sand, shocked. Gaara crawls out from under Naruto eyes wide at the scene. Naruto used himself to defend Gaara from the bombs in place of his sand, while it was with Temari. Naruto’s back was bloody and his cloths ripped and singed. Several kuni were protruding his back and one had clipped his neck which was bleeding profusely. Apparently after the Explosion another wave of raining kuni’s had been thrown in case the attacker missed his target with the bombs. Gaara helplessly looked into his eyes which were alight with Naruto’s sage mode, which faded as Naruto quietly mouthed Gaara’s name. “Naruto!” Temari yelled, as Naruto’s vision faded.
Please tell me what you think, the rest of what I have written is normal, no naration parts.
I'm new to this.With that said, I have to explain this, I wrote this without ever intending anyone to see it, so this first part is mainly a story line, and i'm sorry for that, it is very narative, and the first part is literaly just sentences laying out the background, up to where I actually start writing. IF anyone actually likes the story I will go back and actually write the begining, I have the story in mind I just haven't bothered to write it out. And there is no point wasting the time if no one likes it anyway! xd
IF anyone of you likes this, I will redo the first part, and post more periodically, I have a lot more...
*Note: there is now a part before this 'Part 0'!
The next day Naruto is walking on the island beach where he is met by kankuro who explains that Gaara looks weak for having so many people with him, but wouldn’t tell Naruto that because he is his friend. Kankuro asks Naruto to leave and take all three of his team with him.
Feeling bad for making Gaara look bad he heads back to the house to get Kakashi and Sakura and go.
When he realizes that Kankuro said to take all three of this teammates with him. This makes Naruto uneasy and reminds him of the villager who looked the same way when he greeted Gaara and was annoyed by Naruto’s team being with him.
On his way back to the house Naruto is stopped by Sakura who he talks to and then heads back to the house.
When he goes into the living room Gaara is standing and Kakashi is sitting on the couch reading his book. Kankuro is walking up to Gaara and Naruto feels strange and defensive against kankuro.
Naruto senses something is off about Kankuro’s chakra and runs to him, punches him and pins him against the wall. Kakashi jumps off the couch and Gaara begins to send his sand at Naruto.
Naruto yells at Gaara to stop and says it’s not Kankuro. Gaara and Kakashi look at Naruto like he’s gone insane and try to coak him to let Kankuro go. Kankuro curses at Naruto and asks what the hell he thinks he’s doing.
Naruto begins to explain the way kankuro talked to him and what he said about how Naruto should take his 3 teammates and leave and how Naruto sensed something was off with his chakra. Naruto tells Gaara he will let kankuro go if Gaara asks him a question only kankuro would know the answer to and he gets it right.
Gaara asks kankuro a question and kankuro gives a knowing smile then pushes Naruto off and goes after Gaara with a kuni knife, and the sand pushes him back into Naruto who punches him in the face and Kankuro disappears like a shadow clone.
After the fact Naruto takes up a defensive position in front of Gaara and yells at Kakashi to tell him who his father was. Gaara says Kakashi has been with him the whole time but Naruto tells Kakashi to answer the question.
Kakashi calmly answers “My father was known as the white fang of the leaf, he committed suicide when I was 13 years old.” Naruto relaxes a little and steps to the side of Gaara.
“Sorry I had to check!” Naruto exclaims. Putting his hands behind his head and looking through one eye at his sensei
“I understand now what that was all about?” Kakashi says bringing his book out again.
“Dude could you guys be any louder down here? I was finally getting some sleep!!” Kankuro sleepily walks down the stairs into the room. Naruto and Gaara look from one another than to Kakashi.
“Kankuro,” Gaara says, “What is the name of our sensei?” Kankuro looks at Gaara like he is bothering him.
“You mean Baki? What does he have to do with anything? Geeze you are all weird.” Gaara looks to Naruto to confirm the answer.
Naruto sighs in relief then his eyes go wide as he makes a shocking realization. “You’ve been asleep this whole time!? It’s two in the afternoon!! Someone just tried to kill your brother and you were sleeping??”
“Yes I’ve been asleep.” Kankuro states matter-of-factly. “Wait what did you say?”
“You heard me!! While you were off getting beauty sleep someone made a shadow clone of you and tried to kill Gaara!!” Gaara who had moved to the window crossed his arms and bowed his head in deep thought.
“We need to get Temari, Hannah and Sakura here so there are no more mix-ups while we figure out what just happened.” Kakashi says without looking up from his book.
“Temari is in the garden in the back. I will go get her.” Gaara says to himself more than anyone. Naruto is still explaining and arguing with Kankuro and doesn’t register Gaara’s words until he is out the door.
“Wait! Don’t you get it! You can’t just go off on your own!!” Naruto yells running after Gaara. Just as Gaara walks out the door Temari looks up from her book and three kuni with paper bombs land on the bench next to her. Gaara’s eyes widen with shock and he sends his sand to protect her a second before they go off. In the same moment more kuni bombs fall to the ground surrounding Gaara in a circle while his sand is with Temari. Naruto tackles Gaara and the paper bombs all go off.
Kakashi and Kankuro run out and Temari emerges from the sand, shocked. Gaara crawls out from under Naruto eyes wide at the scene. Naruto used himself to defend Gaara from the bombs in place of his sand, while it was with Temari. Naruto’s back was bloody and his cloths ripped and singed. Several kuni were protruding his back and one had clipped his neck which was bleeding profusely. Apparently after the Explosion another wave of raining kuni’s had been thrown in case the attacker missed his target with the bombs. Gaara helplessly looked into his eyes which were alight with Naruto’s sage mode, which faded as Naruto quietly mouthed Gaara’s name. “Naruto!” Temari yelled, as Naruto’s vision faded.
Please tell me what you think, the rest of what I have written is normal, no naration parts.
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