Strata Uchiha
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Madara: Greetings mortals! Gentlemen and my millions....
Fangirls: And billions!!!
Madara: And billions of fangirls in the audience and around the Five Great Shinobi Nations! Let me get right to it. Here is the lowdown! I have tried countless hair shampoos. Vidal Sasson, Maybelline, Head and Shoulders, and Garnier Fructis. All of these crappy shampoos made this demi god look terrible. Pfft....If you look at Exhibit A through F.
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Madara: ^*eye twitches* W-h-hy is "for the little lady" even on there? Does someone want me to oblige them with oblivion?
Fodder fangirl #1: It was Kishimoto! I saw an email where he was laughing at you oh Sovereign Madara!
Madara: Sovereign Madara? I..!!!!....I seriously like the sound to that. *nods* You'll be rewarded. As for that troll Kishimoto well, I'm going to make orphans of his children via Amateratsu. And THAT'S if I'm in a good mood!
Fodder fangirl #1: Thank you Sovereign Madara!
Madara: That's a good lass. Take your seat. Anyways, I tried them all. So at the time, I asked myself why, why.....why does my hair fight against me so? Why....? An Uchiha of my caliber shouldn't have split ends, for it is said that the hair makes the man! Why?
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Madara: WHY HASHIRAMA!?!? Why is your hair superior to mine!?!?
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Hashirama: WTF? You surreal?
Madara: Most definitely!
Hashirama: I dunno. *shrugs* I don't even use shampoo. Have you tried Axe shower gel? It makes my hair silky smooth. ^^
Madara: There you go again with that nonchalant, arrogant, attitude of yours. First you have to have become the first Hokage. Then you have to dominate me in battle with of all elements....Wood!?!? Ridiculous! Everyone knows on Pokemon that Fire is super-effective against Grass! I can tolerate all of that, but there is NO way I'll let my hair lose to yours any longer! Bah! You are, without a doubt, so uncouth...
Hashirama: Eh....oh boy, here comes another lonnnnnng whiney speech from you! Just do yourself a favor and don't put your fangirls to sleep with it.
Madara: Why you....*glares*
Hashirama: Matter of fact, why do you ALWAYS bother me hmmm? Ya know, I do have a brother.
Madara: I uh.....actually don't want anything to do with Tobirama anymore. See? Here's what happened.
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^ Hashirama: Whoa!....!...*whistles* Dayam! He did a number on you. He does have a mean streak! Don't feel bad. *pat pat* I once borrowed money from him, and I forgot to pay him back. Whew! I had to suck sweet dumplings through a straw for a week! Shhhh! Don't tell the NarutoBase fanboys about these incidents! They'll make "Tobirama solos Hashirama and Madara" threads for months! I don't wanna read that shiz!
Madara: Agreed. *coughstratacoughspartanfailscoughtobiramacoughfanboycough* Ah hem! Back on top. So, there I was thinking how can I make my hair that of perfection? Then it hit me. I had an epiphany!
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^ Madara: I'll make my own. Behold!
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Fangirls: *high pitched fangirls squeal*
Madara: That's right people! This is MADARA'S brand new hair shampoo and conditioner! Trademark! With this in your arsenal, now bad hair days don't exist! Not only that, it does so much more! Unlike natural shampoo and cosmetics, synthetic shampoo and cosmetics use artificial substances that are “unfamiliar” to the Uchiha/Senju/ body and have an adverse effect on the Uchiha/Senju body. Therefore, using synthetic cosmetics on a daily basis damages the immune system; harmful substances accumulate in the body threatening both your health and that of your descendants. However, natural substances used to produce MADARA cosmetics have the ability to harmonize the Uchiha/Senju body and effectively help the cells. As your weak-non Uchiha body is part of nature it “recognises” the natural ingredients in MADARA cosmetics and takes the best and most necessary elements from them. Thus MADARA shampoo and cosmetics are not only effective, but also gentle and healthy!
^ Hashirama: HEY! Sheesh! Did you have to cross out my last name so many....ya know what, skip it. You're a douche. >_>
Madara: In other words people, your hair will come out like this!
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^ Madara: I look absolutely flawless! I'm like omnipotence personified. *smirks*
Fangirls: WE LOVE YOU < 3 MADARA < 3!!!!!
Hashirama: Heh...I still think you should of let a recording of good ol Billy Mays announce your seminar. By the holy Rikudō Sennin Sage of Six Paths bless that man! I would put his head among the Hokage statues if I could.
Madara: Annnnyways, make sure all of you before you leave here today pick up your MADARA shampoo and conditioner! (trademark) Do my bidding mortals.....or I'll drop a bloody meteor on your house...maybe two.
Fodder Fangirl #1: Oh oh oh! Madara-sama! I'll buy your hair products, but you can drop a meteor on my house!
Fodder Fangirl #2: No! Sovereign Madara! Bombard my house with meteors!
Fodder Fangirl #3: Hey! You can slice and dice with your Perfect Susanoo my car any day of the week Master Madara!
Fangirls: *they continue to scream and squeal giving suggestions*
Hashirama: *ponders to himself* He's not even using the Sharingan on them, and yet they're hanging on his every word? What a bunch of dumb arse harlots! Hum hum hum hum hum! If they only had a brain! Do do do do do do. If they only had a brain!
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Madara: ^ Order! Order! Settle down my submissive concubines-in-the-making. Now then, are there any questions in audience?
*noisy interruption*
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^Naruto: Hold it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fangirls: *they all gasp*
Hashirama: Ah Hell Yeah! Here comes my successor! This should be good. *shifts his hands back and forth*
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^Hashirama: ^ Oh and NarutoBase viewers in case you're wondering, this is my "well it's about time $hiz is about to hit the fan" face.
Madara: My my...it's the Kyuubi. This is a switch. The prey confronts the predator. I guess I did say whether or not if there were any questions in the audience so ask away...err...even though you crashed the party uninvited. How unsightly...
Naruto: I wanna know one thing....
Announcer: Why did Naruto crash the seminar? Does he have any other surprises in store for Madara? Will Hashirama continue to sport his smile? Will many upon many Tobirama threads be made in his honor because Hashirama and Madara spilled the beans about getting bested by him? Will Madara's fangirls get a clue? (srsly) Tune in next time!
