[Other] Lost Forever

Cyanide Addiction

Active member
Regular
Joined
Jan 9, 2011
Messages
1,953
Kin
0💸
Kumi
0💴
Trait Points
0⚔️
I can't lie to myself anymore
I really ain't all that
I don't know what to live for
I struck out when I took the bat

My world left me lonely and cold
I lost my love and my hope
My soul was stolen and sold
I hung myself on someone else's rope...

I was a fool to believe love's illusion
When it came time to together
She left me in seclusion
And I found myself lost forever

How could it come to this?
I don't know how to escape
She strangled me with our last kiss
Now my heart's wrapped in crime scene tape..

I've lost all that I am and more
Why did she just walk away?
It's been years but it's like it was just the day before
She didn't care what I did or had to say...

Instead of staying together
She left me to look at the choices of my own ends
Like everything else, love is lost forever...
She took my heart, my soul, and even my friends...

How long will I suffer, days, months, or years?
Lost forever without my world, I am alone
She's not by my side, and all I have is tears
While all my fears... Chill me to the bone

I'm left without a prayer
But somehow still alive
I'm grasping for her, like a dying man does for air
But my heart beat is about to take it's final nose dive..
 
Joined
May 31, 2014
Messages
476
Kin
5💸
Kumi
0💴
Trait Points
0⚔️
I can't lie to myself anymore
I really ain't all that
I don't know what to live for
I struck out when I took the bat

My world left me lonely and cold
I lost my love and my hope
My soul was stolen and sold
I hung myself on someone else's rope...

I was a fool to believe love's illusion
When it came time to together
She left me in seclusion
And I found myself lost forever

How could it come to this?
I don't know how to escape
She strangled me with our last kiss
Now my heart's wrapped in crime scene tape..

I've lost all that I am and more
Why did she just walk away?
It's been years but it's like it was just the day before
She didn't care what I did or had to say...

Instead of staying together
She left me to look at the choices of my own ends
Like everything else, love is lost forever...
She took my heart, my soul, and even my friends...

How long will I suffer, days, months, or years?
Lost forever without my world, I am alone
She's not by my side, and all I have is tears
While all my fears... Chill me to the bone

I'm left without a prayer
But somehow still alive
I'm grasping for her, like a dying man does for air
But my heart beat is about to take it's final nose dive..
you started well, but you stumbled the moment you showed the reader that the reason for your situation is SHE.. whoever she is. don`t make it so limited.. tie yourself to all that`s wrong in the world.. all the artists, the movies, all the stories got so repetitive that it makes me puke .. everyone and everything does same shit.. sell us lies, actors acting the perfect love, writers write the perfect love story, musicians sing about the perfect love.. it makes me puke.. for real..
make it short about she. 1-2 verses. that`s all. the rest, replace with reasons of a lost world..
 
Top