Jack Spicer
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Here's the second episode in my Life In The Akatsuki series.
Title: The Door
In the Bathroom...
Pein: Where's my Toothbrush?
Konan: It's right there!
Pein: Where?
Konan: It's the only one that has a picture of you shaking hands with Jeathro Gibbs on NCIS!
Pein: That was a groundbreaking moment!
Konan: What? It never happened!
Pein: Konan, it did happen.
Konan: When? When did it happen?!
Pein: Last year when I worked a case with Ziva.
Konan: What? That's impossible! NCIS is just a show! The cast isn't really members of the real NCIS!
Pein: You make Americans sick.
Konan: We are in Japan!
Pein: You don't know that, exactly.
Konan: Fine. Whatever. Just get my toothbrush.
Pein: Which one?
Konan: The one with Abby welcoming me to the NCIS with plaque. It was an outstanding honor!
Pein: Well, congratulations!
In the game room....
Deidara: That's right! Sasori, my man, you are getting owned!
Sasori: Gr! These controls make no sense!
Itachi: It's not the controls.
Sasori: Then what is it?
Itachi: You lack skills. You are weak. Why are you so weak?
Sasori: Fine! Itachi you try!
Itachi: Alright. By the way, Sasori fix that attitude of yours.
Sasori: Hmph, my attitude....
(Hidan & Kakuzu walk in)
Itachi: This is the finale. And it's ov-
Hidan: Hey, Itachi!
(Itachi messes up and ends up loosing to Deidara)
Itachi: Hidan...why?
Hidan: Why, what?!
Itachi: Don't question me. You intentionally made me loose.
Hidan: And what if I did?
(Tobi runs in)
Tobi: Ooooo, a fight!!!!!
(Zetsu passes in the hallway and glances in the door)
Zetsu: (Black half) I think Hidan will finnaly die today!
Zetsu: (White Half): We can only hope.
(Zetsu simply walks away)
Kakuzu: So...anyone wanna place a bet?
Kisame: Why? Kakuzu, you know I'll win.
Kakuzu: Not this time!
Kisame: Fine. My money is on Itachi.
Kakuzu: What? No! Damnit!
(Kakuzu hands him 100 ryo before the fight even begins)
Deidara: Hmph, a fight...
Itachi: Deidara, it's not a fight when Hidan is involved.
Sasori: Burn!!!!
Tobi: Burn!!!!
Sasori: Tobi, I just said that!
Tobi: So what?!
(Everyone stops in their tracks)
Deidara: Heh, Go Tobi!!!
Hidan: What the...
Kakuzu: Did he just....
Itachi: What strength.... Sasori, you were owned by Tobi...
Kisame: Heh, who knew...
Sasori: Tobi?!!!! You.....Can't...
Tobi: Tobi can't do what?!
Deidara: (Chants) Tobi!!! Tobi!!
Tobi: Hey, Deidara?
Deidara: Yeah?
Tobi: Shut the hell up.
Kakuzu: My money is definitly on Tobi now!
Itachi: Tobi, you are...
Tobi: I didn't ask for your opinion!
Hidan: Jashin! Can you let me decapitate-
Tobi, in a devilish tone: Keep praying for mercy!
(Hidan and Itachi look at each other and pick up, carry, and then they throw Tobi through the Akatsuki hideout door)
Tobi: Oww!!
(Waves)
Tobi: Sorry guys!
Sasori: Hmph, wimp.
Deidara: Just to think...I believed in him.
Kisame: So, no Hidan & Itachi fight?
Kakuzu: That's right Kisame! Give me back my money!
Kisame: Ah well, it's a shame. Really it is. It will end up mine anyways.
(Hands back cash)
Hidan: Itachi, we cool?
Itachi: Well, I certainly am, but if you keep talking about that god of yours, you won't be able to be recognized as a human when the officials discover your body.
Hidan: MAY JASHIN HAV-
(Itachi activates Myngekko Sharingan)
Hidan: Never mind that Itachi!
(Hidan begins leaving)
Hidan: Jashin, some day Itachi will..
Itachi, who appears infront of Hidan: Did you say something?
Hidan: Damnit.....
At the meeting...
Pein: I'm sure you all know why you are here today.
Deidara: Yeah, that idiot Tobi got put into the hospital.
Sasori: And that's why we're here!
Pein: No, that's not why we are here.
Konan: Yeah, why would we have a meeting about Tobi?
Itachi: Perhaps because he went insane earlier today.
Konan: Itachi, do you think I care?
Itachi: No.
Sasori: You should care!
Deidara: Yeah, hm! He was actually pretty scary!
Hidan, who mumbles: Pansy....
Pein: Tobi, scary? That'll be the day!
Zetsu: (White Half) It was quite weird, Pein. I heard him 3 rooms away.
Zetsu: (Black Half) Yeah, that idiot wouldn't shut up!
Zetsu: (White Half) Tobi was definitely not a good boy.
Zetsu: (Black Half) He was a Bad A**!
Zetsu: (White Half): Watch your language....
Konan: Pein, do you believe this?
Pein: Konan, I don't care.
Konan: Figured.
Pein: Well then, this meeting is about the door Hidan and Itachi broke!!
Hidan: What about it?
Konan: Oh, I don't know...Anyone can just come barging in now!
Itachi: Why don't you just simply fix it?
Pein: It's gonna be fixed and Itachi you're gonna fix it!
Itachi: (Sarcasm) The joy......
Pein: And Hidan will be helping you!
Hidan: What?!
Itachi: Pein, that's not a wise decision.
Pein: Oh, it's not? Then how about this..Deidara, Sasori, Kakuzu, And Kisame will be accompioning you.
Deidara: What?
Kisame: You've got to be joking...
Sasori: Why us?
Konan: All of you were there at the scene of the crime.
Kakuzu: Crime?! This isn't NCIS!
Kisame: Yeah, and why isn't Zetsu going to help us?
Pein: He wasn't there.
Deidara: He walked by the door, doesn't that count?
Pein: No.
Konan: Meeting adjourned!
Itachi: I really wonder I don't just kill all of them....or myself...Who am I kidding, this world is nothing without me...I'm Itachi Uchiha...Perfection Personified...
Deidara: What is he talking about....
At the door....or lack thereof..
Hidan: Should be up in no time.
Deidara: I have absolutely no idea why we are wearing construction uniforms...
Itachi: I think I look great in mine. But, again, who wouldn't think I would.
Kisame: I wouldn't...
Itachi: Any care about Kisame's opinion?.....No? ..Shocking....
Sasori: I still don't know why I'm here. I didn't do anything!
Hidan: Get over it!
Sasori: Hmph....Whatever....
Kakuzu: Hey, Kisame, are we getting paid for this?
Kisame: No.
Kakuzu: Not at all?
Kisame: Not one cent.
Kakuzu: No!!!!
Kisame, who walks up and hugs him: I feel your pain.
Hidan: Awkward...
Kakuzu: Hidan! Shut it!! You don't know my pain!
Sasori: Drama Queen....
Itachi: He's right. You do not know his pain.
Hidan: Hey, shut your mouth, Itachi!
Itachi: Did you say something?
Hidan: Fine. You wanna go? Let's go!
Itachi: This is going to be boring, but Atleast it will be over fast.
Hidan: We'll see about that!
(Hidan and Itachi begin fighting)
Sasori: I am surrounded by idiots.
Deidara: Tell me about it.
Sasori: Well, what should we do now?
Deidara: Finish the door I suppose, hm.
Minutes later...In Pein & Konan's room
Pein: Konan, do you think they finished the door?
Konan: It's slightly possible.
Pein: Well, let's go see their progress!
Konan: Speaking of progress, we need to progress our relationship!
Pein: Yeah, about that....
Konan: Uh....Let's just go to the door already....
Pein: C'mon Abby!
Konan: Pein..!
Pein: Yes, Ziva?
Konan: My god....
On the way to the door..
Konan: Pein, I think we just need interact mo...-
(Stops when...)
At the door..
(They notice the following: Kisame hugging Kakuzu while he cries, Itachi & Hidan fighting, and Sasori & Deidara finishing building the door)
Pein: Konan?
Konan: Wh-What?
Pein: What is going on here?
Konan: I'm afraid to find out.
(Deidara & Sasori walk past them)
Deidara: Door's finished, hm.
Sasori: Yeah, so now ALL THAT (points at chaos) is your problem!
(Deidara & Sasori leave)
Konan: Well, what are we going to do about this?
Pein: It's not my problem.
Konan: You're leaving?
Pein: Why shouldn't I?
Konan: They are our followers!
Pein: Maybe in your world. In mine, they are just people who happen to live with us and abide by my orders. But they are my friends!
Konan: What an awkward observation....And what do you mean by your orders?! We are a team and-
Pein: Let's go, Konan.
Konan: But...
Pein: We can go talk and......interact more.
Konan: Let's go!
Later in the living room...
Kisame: Fixing that door was rough.
Kakuzu: But we pulled through!
Hidan: Ha! That was so easy...
Itachi: I'll admit..We did an exceptional job today.
Sasori: What?!
Deidara: Sasori and I did all the work!
Itachi: You two need to grow up and embrace this world.
Hidan: Yeah, grow up!!
Sasori: This is insane!!
Deidara: We'll see what Pein thinks..
In Pein & Konan's room...
Pein: Konan, you were wonderful.
Konan: I kn-
(Deidara knocks on the door)
Deidara: Pein!!!!!
Sasori: Open the door!!!
(Pein opens the door)
Pein: What?!
(Deidara looks at Pein)
Deidara: Well, someone has been watching alot of NCIS today, hm.
Sasori: You look tired Pein. Was Gibbs to much for you?
(Laughs)
Pein: What do you want?
Deidara: Tell Itach-
(Pein shuts door)
Pein: I don't care!!
Deidara: What?!
Sasori: Must be a marathon...
(In the room)
Pein: Now where were we?
Konan: We were just about to watch season 4 of NCIS...Woo....
Pein: Oooo, I love that season!
Konan: When I said interaction, I didn't mean this...
Later in the living room...
Zetsu: (White Half): Well I heard today was quite a day.
Zetsu: (Black Half): What happned?
Pein: I don't want to talk about it.
Konan: Really? All you talk about is NCIS!!! I'm surprised you don't want to talk about it!
Pein: Well someone is angry.
Konan: I have the right to be, Pein!
(Konan crosses her legs and pouts. Pein puts his arm around her. She leans on his shoulder)
Pein: It's okay, Konan.
Konan: Pein, I lov-
(Just then Tobi barges in and breaks the door and falls)
Tobi: Oh my...Tobi is so sorry!!
Konan: Tobi!!!!!
(Konan chases Tobi)
Tobi: Help!!!! Tobi didn't do anything!!!
Deidara: Hmph, what a day...
Pein: Want to watch NCIS?
Sasori: Eh, why not?
The End
Please tell me what you think.
Title: The Door
In the Bathroom...
Pein: Where's my Toothbrush?
Konan: It's right there!
Pein: Where?
Konan: It's the only one that has a picture of you shaking hands with Jeathro Gibbs on NCIS!
Pein: That was a groundbreaking moment!
Konan: What? It never happened!
Pein: Konan, it did happen.
Konan: When? When did it happen?!
Pein: Last year when I worked a case with Ziva.
Konan: What? That's impossible! NCIS is just a show! The cast isn't really members of the real NCIS!
Pein: You make Americans sick.
Konan: We are in Japan!
Pein: You don't know that, exactly.
Konan: Fine. Whatever. Just get my toothbrush.
Pein: Which one?
Konan: The one with Abby welcoming me to the NCIS with plaque. It was an outstanding honor!
Pein: Well, congratulations!
In the game room....
Deidara: That's right! Sasori, my man, you are getting owned!
Sasori: Gr! These controls make no sense!
Itachi: It's not the controls.
Sasori: Then what is it?
Itachi: You lack skills. You are weak. Why are you so weak?
Sasori: Fine! Itachi you try!
Itachi: Alright. By the way, Sasori fix that attitude of yours.
Sasori: Hmph, my attitude....
(Hidan & Kakuzu walk in)
Itachi: This is the finale. And it's ov-
Hidan: Hey, Itachi!
(Itachi messes up and ends up loosing to Deidara)
Itachi: Hidan...why?
Hidan: Why, what?!
Itachi: Don't question me. You intentionally made me loose.
Hidan: And what if I did?
(Tobi runs in)
Tobi: Ooooo, a fight!!!!!
(Zetsu passes in the hallway and glances in the door)
Zetsu: (Black half) I think Hidan will finnaly die today!
Zetsu: (White Half): We can only hope.
(Zetsu simply walks away)
Kakuzu: So...anyone wanna place a bet?
Kisame: Why? Kakuzu, you know I'll win.
Kakuzu: Not this time!
Kisame: Fine. My money is on Itachi.
Kakuzu: What? No! Damnit!
(Kakuzu hands him 100 ryo before the fight even begins)
Deidara: Hmph, a fight...
Itachi: Deidara, it's not a fight when Hidan is involved.
Sasori: Burn!!!!
Tobi: Burn!!!!
Sasori: Tobi, I just said that!
Tobi: So what?!
(Everyone stops in their tracks)
Deidara: Heh, Go Tobi!!!
Hidan: What the...
Kakuzu: Did he just....
Itachi: What strength.... Sasori, you were owned by Tobi...
Kisame: Heh, who knew...
Sasori: Tobi?!!!! You.....Can't...
Tobi: Tobi can't do what?!
Deidara: (Chants) Tobi!!! Tobi!!
Tobi: Hey, Deidara?
Deidara: Yeah?
Tobi: Shut the hell up.
Kakuzu: My money is definitly on Tobi now!
Itachi: Tobi, you are...
Tobi: I didn't ask for your opinion!
Hidan: Jashin! Can you let me decapitate-
Tobi, in a devilish tone: Keep praying for mercy!
(Hidan and Itachi look at each other and pick up, carry, and then they throw Tobi through the Akatsuki hideout door)
Tobi: Oww!!
(Waves)
Tobi: Sorry guys!
Sasori: Hmph, wimp.
Deidara: Just to think...I believed in him.
Kisame: So, no Hidan & Itachi fight?
Kakuzu: That's right Kisame! Give me back my money!
Kisame: Ah well, it's a shame. Really it is. It will end up mine anyways.
(Hands back cash)
Hidan: Itachi, we cool?
Itachi: Well, I certainly am, but if you keep talking about that god of yours, you won't be able to be recognized as a human when the officials discover your body.
Hidan: MAY JASHIN HAV-
(Itachi activates Myngekko Sharingan)
Hidan: Never mind that Itachi!
(Hidan begins leaving)
Hidan: Jashin, some day Itachi will..
Itachi, who appears infront of Hidan: Did you say something?
Hidan: Damnit.....
At the meeting...
Pein: I'm sure you all know why you are here today.
Deidara: Yeah, that idiot Tobi got put into the hospital.
Sasori: And that's why we're here!
Pein: No, that's not why we are here.
Konan: Yeah, why would we have a meeting about Tobi?
Itachi: Perhaps because he went insane earlier today.
Konan: Itachi, do you think I care?
Itachi: No.
Sasori: You should care!
Deidara: Yeah, hm! He was actually pretty scary!
Hidan, who mumbles: Pansy....
Pein: Tobi, scary? That'll be the day!
Zetsu: (White Half) It was quite weird, Pein. I heard him 3 rooms away.
Zetsu: (Black Half) Yeah, that idiot wouldn't shut up!
Zetsu: (White Half) Tobi was definitely not a good boy.
Zetsu: (Black Half) He was a Bad A**!
Zetsu: (White Half): Watch your language....
Konan: Pein, do you believe this?
Pein: Konan, I don't care.
Konan: Figured.
Pein: Well then, this meeting is about the door Hidan and Itachi broke!!
Hidan: What about it?
Konan: Oh, I don't know...Anyone can just come barging in now!
Itachi: Why don't you just simply fix it?
Pein: It's gonna be fixed and Itachi you're gonna fix it!
Itachi: (Sarcasm) The joy......
Pein: And Hidan will be helping you!
Hidan: What?!
Itachi: Pein, that's not a wise decision.
Pein: Oh, it's not? Then how about this..Deidara, Sasori, Kakuzu, And Kisame will be accompioning you.
Deidara: What?
Kisame: You've got to be joking...
Sasori: Why us?
Konan: All of you were there at the scene of the crime.
Kakuzu: Crime?! This isn't NCIS!
Kisame: Yeah, and why isn't Zetsu going to help us?
Pein: He wasn't there.
Deidara: He walked by the door, doesn't that count?
Pein: No.
Konan: Meeting adjourned!
Itachi: I really wonder I don't just kill all of them....or myself...Who am I kidding, this world is nothing without me...I'm Itachi Uchiha...Perfection Personified...
Deidara: What is he talking about....
At the door....or lack thereof..
Hidan: Should be up in no time.
Deidara: I have absolutely no idea why we are wearing construction uniforms...
Itachi: I think I look great in mine. But, again, who wouldn't think I would.
Kisame: I wouldn't...
Itachi: Any care about Kisame's opinion?.....No? ..Shocking....
Sasori: I still don't know why I'm here. I didn't do anything!
Hidan: Get over it!
Sasori: Hmph....Whatever....
Kakuzu: Hey, Kisame, are we getting paid for this?
Kisame: No.
Kakuzu: Not at all?
Kisame: Not one cent.
Kakuzu: No!!!!
Kisame, who walks up and hugs him: I feel your pain.
Hidan: Awkward...
Kakuzu: Hidan! Shut it!! You don't know my pain!
Sasori: Drama Queen....
Itachi: He's right. You do not know his pain.
Hidan: Hey, shut your mouth, Itachi!
Itachi: Did you say something?
Hidan: Fine. You wanna go? Let's go!
Itachi: This is going to be boring, but Atleast it will be over fast.
Hidan: We'll see about that!
(Hidan and Itachi begin fighting)
Sasori: I am surrounded by idiots.
Deidara: Tell me about it.
Sasori: Well, what should we do now?
Deidara: Finish the door I suppose, hm.
Minutes later...In Pein & Konan's room
Pein: Konan, do you think they finished the door?
Konan: It's slightly possible.
Pein: Well, let's go see their progress!
Konan: Speaking of progress, we need to progress our relationship!
Pein: Yeah, about that....
Konan: Uh....Let's just go to the door already....
Pein: C'mon Abby!
Konan: Pein..!
Pein: Yes, Ziva?
Konan: My god....
On the way to the door..
Konan: Pein, I think we just need interact mo...-
(Stops when...)
At the door..
(They notice the following: Kisame hugging Kakuzu while he cries, Itachi & Hidan fighting, and Sasori & Deidara finishing building the door)
Pein: Konan?
Konan: Wh-What?
Pein: What is going on here?
Konan: I'm afraid to find out.
(Deidara & Sasori walk past them)
Deidara: Door's finished, hm.
Sasori: Yeah, so now ALL THAT (points at chaos) is your problem!
(Deidara & Sasori leave)
Konan: Well, what are we going to do about this?
Pein: It's not my problem.
Konan: You're leaving?
Pein: Why shouldn't I?
Konan: They are our followers!
Pein: Maybe in your world. In mine, they are just people who happen to live with us and abide by my orders. But they are my friends!
Konan: What an awkward observation....And what do you mean by your orders?! We are a team and-
Pein: Let's go, Konan.
Konan: But...
Pein: We can go talk and......interact more.
Konan: Let's go!
Later in the living room...
Kisame: Fixing that door was rough.
Kakuzu: But we pulled through!
Hidan: Ha! That was so easy...
Itachi: I'll admit..We did an exceptional job today.
Sasori: What?!
Deidara: Sasori and I did all the work!
Itachi: You two need to grow up and embrace this world.
Hidan: Yeah, grow up!!
Sasori: This is insane!!
Deidara: We'll see what Pein thinks..
In Pein & Konan's room...
Pein: Konan, you were wonderful.
Konan: I kn-
(Deidara knocks on the door)
Deidara: Pein!!!!!
Sasori: Open the door!!!
(Pein opens the door)
Pein: What?!
(Deidara looks at Pein)
Deidara: Well, someone has been watching alot of NCIS today, hm.
Sasori: You look tired Pein. Was Gibbs to much for you?
(Laughs)
Pein: What do you want?
Deidara: Tell Itach-
(Pein shuts door)
Pein: I don't care!!
Deidara: What?!
Sasori: Must be a marathon...
(In the room)
Pein: Now where were we?
Konan: We were just about to watch season 4 of NCIS...Woo....
Pein: Oooo, I love that season!
Konan: When I said interaction, I didn't mean this...
Later in the living room...
Zetsu: (White Half): Well I heard today was quite a day.
Zetsu: (Black Half): What happned?
Pein: I don't want to talk about it.
Konan: Really? All you talk about is NCIS!!! I'm surprised you don't want to talk about it!
Pein: Well someone is angry.
Konan: I have the right to be, Pein!
(Konan crosses her legs and pouts. Pein puts his arm around her. She leans on his shoulder)
Pein: It's okay, Konan.
Konan: Pein, I lov-
(Just then Tobi barges in and breaks the door and falls)
Tobi: Oh my...Tobi is so sorry!!
Konan: Tobi!!!!!
(Konan chases Tobi)
Tobi: Help!!!! Tobi didn't do anything!!!
Deidara: Hmph, what a day...
Pein: Want to watch NCIS?
Sasori: Eh, why not?
The End
Please tell me what you think.
