Jack Spicer
Active member
Awards
I am currently working on Jetzula, as you may know...or not....Nobody really cares about it here....Curse you! :flaw: xd But, then again, it's not even close to be finished so I am going to let the current thread die so I can upload the full awesome version when it's done! But, enough about the beautiful lovely awesome smart tactical (I'll stop, but I can go on!) Azula, and the super cool (BUT NOT KAKASHI COOL) Jet, THIS IS LIFE IN THE AKATSUKI! This was rushed, I'll admit, so it may not be good. But, Please Enjoy!
We join Tobi and Zetsu outside, where Tobi is mowing the lawn and Zetsu is...well....getting high, on life! Let's go with that.
Tobi: ZETSU!!!!!!!!!!! This thing is so awesome!!!!! C'mon and join me!!!!
Zetsu, who's surrounded by smoke: (White Half): Sorry, Tobi. We're busy.
Zetsu: (Black Half): Yeah, go to hell.
Zetsu: (White Half): Watch your manners!
Zetsu: (Black Half): You can join Tobi, IN HELL!
Zetsu: (White Half): You're lucky I'm not a racist....
Tobi: Hey! Look, Mr. Zetsu! It's a rabbit! I'm going to kill it!
Zetsu: (White Half): Wait! Tobi! Don't!
Zetsu: (Black Half): I thought he was a good boy....
Tobi: DIE, RABBIT, DIE!
Zetsu: (White Half): Is he possessed or something?
Zetsu: (Balck Half): I was possessed once.....Yeah-up.....True Story.
*Tobi runs over the Rabbit, but the blade on the lawn mower malfunctions*
Tobi: AHH!!! This thing....IT'S ALIVE!!! Run, Mr Zetsu! It's going to eat us!
Zetsu: (Black Half): Should we run?
Zetsu: (White Half): No, no. Everyone's asleep inside. This is more entertaining, although it is a bit....deadly.
Tobi: Move it Mr.Zetsu! It's coming!
*Tobi grabs Zetsu's hand and they run towards the door. Tobi pushes Zetsu inside first. Zetsu locks the door*
Zetsu: (White Half): Why did you shut the door?
Zetsu: (Black Half): God...He told me to do it.
Zetsu: (White Half): I don't see Chuck Norris anywhere....
Zetsu: (Black Half): He's in our souls man, in our souls....
Tobi, knocking on the door: Guys! Let me in!!! It's going to KILL ME!
Zetsu: (White Half): Hey, want to go watch the wedding about those European people? Everyone's talking about it! It has no impact on the world, but I'd love to see a wedding! I mean, I've been to dozens, but apparently this one is different.
Zetsu: (Black Half): I'd rather listen to Rebecca Black....
Zetsu: (White Half): Oh, today's Friday!
~It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend-~
Zetsu: (Black Half): SHUT THE F*** UP! Too much negative energy man....Let's go watch the wedding....
*Zetsu leaves. Tobi runs in the direction to the gate*
Tobi: I'm...going to make it!!!
*Tobi trips and looks in horror as the lawn mower heads directly towards his face*
Tobi: AHHH!!!
*Sasori and Deidara walk outside*
Sasori: Yeah, that Sakura Haruno beat me up! Some kid made her! Stupid little brat...
Deidara: Well, my man, you just suck with the ladies. Unlike me. See, Ino and I are cool. We're getting pretty series.
Sasori: Says the guy who's jaw dropped when Konan walked in...
Deidara: Hey! I did not look at K-
*Deidara sees Tobi on the ground...and instantly stops in his tracks*
Sasori: Well, I really don't care. That Hinata girl and I hit it off. She looked amazing as
*Sasori sees Tobi*
Sasori: Ka...tar....a.
At the Akatsuki meeting....
Pein: So, what happened, exactly?
Sasori: Tobi was completely owned by a lawn mower!
Deidara: Yeah, it wasn't pretty, hm.
Konan, who's sitting on Pein's lap: Who was the moron to let Tobi use the lawn mower.
*Konan laughs*
Kisame: Hey Itachi, didn't you-
Itachi: Quiet Kisame. Do you remember what happened to you last time you said something you shouldn't have?
Kisame: Yeah.....I miss my family....
Zetsu: (White Half): What did you do to his family?
Hidan: Did you kill them? Any one who who crosses the line of doing it with a fish deserves to die! So, tell me, did you kill them?
Itachi: Yes.
Kakuzu: Not groovy.
Hidan: What is wrong with you? Seriously!? Groove this! Groovy that! Say it one more time and I'll take this scythe and shove it straight up your a**!
Kakuzu:.....So, about Tobi....
Konan: Tobi will be out of comission for awhile. His face needs reconstruction.
Kisame: But, doesn't he wear a mask?
Itachi: Did you figure that out all on your own, Kisame?
Konan: He'll be out for a couple of days and will return on the...24th.
Pein: Twenty Forth.....Twenty Forth...That day rings a bell.
Kisame: Isn't that Tobi's birthday?
Itachi: Really Kisame....you just had to mention it....
Hidan: That idiot has a birthday? Damn. I'd hate to be his parents.
Kakuzu: Why not get Itachi to kill them? He apparently does that alot.
Itachi: You're just jealous your parents are still alive.
Kakuzu: I love my mother! Don't you dare harm her!
Hidan: The hell, Kakuzu?
Deidara: What was that about, hm?
Itachi: No comment.
Konan: Well, anyways, since Itachi let Tobi have the lawn mower, it's up to him to throw him a birthday party.
Kisame: And a welcome back party! Mix them together!
Itachi: Do you ever be quiet?
Konan: Kisame, you will be helping Itachi.
Itachi: Oh, the fun...
Konan: The rest of you can do about as you please. Meeting adjourned.
Pein: Why do you get to say meeting adjourned? Maybe I want to say it once in awhile...
Konan: If you want to say it, then say it.
Pein: Listen woman, I am the man in this relationship-
Itachi: I beg to differ....
Hidan: NICE! A burn to Konan and Pein! DOUBLE BURN!
Sasori: Hey! Itachi, you're my idol and all, but Konan is a beautiful woman!
Deidara: Yeah, for once, Sasori my man is correct.
Kakuzu: I agree.
Itachi: Pedophile....
Kisame: Ha! Ha! You're a pedophile, Kakuzu!
Kakuzu: Shut it, you uncooked salmon.
Konan, whispers to Pein: This...is awkward...
Pein, whispering back: Yeah...Let's leave....
*Pein puts his arm around Konan and they begin to walk away*
Pein: Sorry about earlier.
Konan: It's oka-
Pein: Meeting adjourned!
Konan: You just had to do that, didn't you?
Pein, who smiles: Yeah...Gibbs would be proud....
Later we join Itachi and Kisame in their room.
Itachi: Well, it seems like we are going to need to throw a party for Tobi...
Kisame: Yeah, but we have three days. No need to rush.
Itachi: Smartest thing you said in a long time.
Kisame: Well, I-
Itachi: Scratch that. That was the first smart thing you've ever said.
We go check up on Tobi in the hospital..He's in a room with a guy who's in a coma.
Tobi, wearing a patient gown: So, is this your first time here?
Coma guy:.........
Tobi: I was in a coma once! True story! Tobi got hit my a guy who was in a wheelchair! I think the coma was due to him punching me....alot...afterwards.
Coma guy:..........
Tobi: Wanna play UNO?! That's spanish for one! Dora taught me that!
Coma guy:....
Tobi:....You're making Tobi upset! TALK TO ME!!!! TALK TO TOBI!!!
Coma guy:......
*Tobi flips him off*
Tobi: That's Spanish for F*** YOU!
Coma guy:.....
Tobi: Oh my gawd!!!!!! I am so sorry!!!!! I didn't mean to hurt your feelings! Mr. Zetsu would not be proud.....I'm not a good boy....
Back at the Akatsuki hideout.....Three days has passed....
*Hidan and Kakuzu knock on Itachi's door*
Hidan: Hey! Wake up!
Kakuzu: Don't knock so hard. That door costs more than you know.
*Hidan knocks even harder*
Hidan: Itachi! Get up!
*Itachi opens the door*
Itachi: What do you....-Oh, it's you two.....Go away.
Kakuzu: I'll take it you forgot to get Tobi's birthday supplies.
Hidan: You f***in idiot! Konan's going to kick your Uchiha a** all over this house!
*Kisame walks up to the door in his powerpuffgirl pjs.*
Kisame: Morning guys.
Hidan: Kisame, what....the...HELL?!
Kakuzu:....Nice....
*Sasori walks by*
Sasori: Yeah, I'm going back to sleep.
*Deidara walks by Sasori*
Sasori: Deidara, I wouldn't go that way.
Deidara: Why not, hm?
Sasori: Kisame....Pajamas....Power puff girls....
Deidara: Yeah...I need my camera!
*Deidara goes to get camera*
Sasori: I'm going to sleep on the couch....
*Sasori leaves*
Itachi: Kisame, get dressed.
Hidan: Yes! Please go get dressed!
Kisame: ....Fine....
Itachi: I'll see you out at the car.
Back at the hospital....
Tobi: Nurse! Today I am going home!!!
Girl Nurse: Aren't we all happy today?
Tobi: I'm always happy! I'm a good boy!
Girl Nurse, who gets close to Tobi: Well...I'm a bad girl....
Tobi: I AM OUTTA HERE!!
Nurse: Is it because I am too...sexy?
Tobi: NO!! It's because....seriously! GET A MIRROR! YOU ARE NOT PRETTY! Loose some weight, shave the mustache, and...NEVERMIND! You are just hopeless! Bye!
*Tobi leaves and the Nurse walks up to the coma guy*
Nurse: Atleast you won't leave.
Coma guy: AHH!!!!!! GET THIS THING AWAY FROM ME!!!!
Back at the hideout...
Konan: Lately, you've been different Pein. You've been more...mature and less like the rest of our...friends....
Pein: Well, I have something special that they don't.
Konan:....What is it?
Pein: You.
*They Kiss, while Sasori and Deidara walk in*
Sasori: Get a room....
Deidara: You lucky guy!
Pein: Don't you have a girlfriend, Deidara?
Deidara: Yeah, but she's no Konan!
Sasori: He has a point. Ino's like a pig.
Deidara: Hey, are you talking about MY girlfriend?! Atleast some pink haired monster isn't trying to kill me!
Sasori: That's all your fault! You're a jerk, you know that?
Deidara: You're just jealous I have a beautiful girlfriend and you don't! Well, you had that Hinata girl, but she obviously liked me. Don't worry though...she's not good enough to date me. Hmph!
Sasori: Why you....
*They fight*
Sasori, while punching Deidara: SHE'S TOO GOOD ENOUGH TO DATE YOU! YOU HAVE MOUTHS ON YOUR HANDS! THAT'S HOW DESPERATE YOU ARE!
*Konan and Pein leave the room*
Konan: I hope they kill each other....
Pein: But they love you. Everyone needs their fans.
Konan: I'm your biggest fan.
*They kiss*
At Walmart.....
Itachi: This place is a redneck's New York.....But to me, it's boring. Just go find the supplies. I'll get the cake. You go get...whatever else....
Kisame: The gifts, wallpaper, hats, and drinks?
Itachi: Sure, why not....
On Itachi's cake journey....
Itachi: I need a cake.
Clerk: What kind?
Itachi: Well, Tobi acted black once....Chocolate.
Clerk: What kind of icing?
Itachi: The old school kind. The cool whip is horrible. Part of the reason my mother is dead. Always getting cool whip...I hate cool whip.
Clerk: What do you want on the icing?
Itachi: Tobi always talks about some foreigner.....Some little kid...who has no idea what she's doing....
Clerk: Sarah Palin?
Itachi: That's it.
Clerk: How many candles?
Itachi: I don't know....like two.....He's an idiot...You got to understand....
Clerk: Okay, here's your cake.
Itachi: Thanks....Wait you look familar...Kabuto....Is that you?
Kabuto: Yeah....
Itachi: This is what happens when you are friends with a child rapist. You've been warned, people around me (and readers). Here's your money, Kabuto.
Kabuto: Thanks...Itachi...
Itachi: Later, you misfit.
*Itachi walks by the aquarium and sees Kisame in the fishtank8
Itachi: C'mon Kisame...You can mingle some other time.....
Back at the hideout which is decorated for Tobi's party.....
Kakuzu: How much was this?
Itachi: Doesn't matter. Any amount of money is wasted when it's for Tobi.
Hidan: Deidara, what the hell happened to you?
Deidara, who has a broken arm and has bruises: .....Don't want to talk about it....
Sasori, who's not hurt at all: I did that! I am the man. I beat up Deidara! High five!
Hidan: You beat up the girliest boy in Akatsuki up! Jashin is ashamed....
Sasori: No! Jashin be praised! Now he knows not to talk badly about Hinata!
Itachi: Who? I thought you quit naming imaginary women....
Sasori: She's real!
Pein: Tobi's coming.
Konan: The joy...
Kisame: Everyone hide!
Itachi: No.
*Tobi walks in*
Kisame: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Itachi: You're welcome.
*Itachi leaves*
Kisame: Wait on me, itachi!
*Kisame follows Itachi*
Zetsu: (Black Half): That lawn mower whacked up your face. HA!
Zetsu: (White Half): He's wearing a mask....
Zetsu: (Black Half): I know....Man, I am so messed up.....
Pein: Happy birthday Tobi.
Konan: Yeah, happy birthday.
Sasori: Tobi, we hate you, but happy birthday.
Deidara:......H...a..ppy....Birthday...To.....bi....
Hidan: HA! You can't talk! Happy Birthday retard!
Kakuzu: Tobi, have a groovy birthday. You deserve it.
Tobi: THANKS EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Tobi looks at his cake*
Tobi: Why is Sarah Palin on my cake.........?
We end with Hidan laughing, Deidara crying, Sasori giving a toast to Kakuzu, Zetsu passing out, Pein putting his arm around Konan while they watch Tobi devour his cake.
Life In The Akatsuki
The Birthday
The Birthday
We join Tobi and Zetsu outside, where Tobi is mowing the lawn and Zetsu is...well....getting high, on life! Let's go with that.
Tobi: ZETSU!!!!!!!!!!! This thing is so awesome!!!!! C'mon and join me!!!!
Zetsu, who's surrounded by smoke: (White Half): Sorry, Tobi. We're busy.
Zetsu: (Black Half): Yeah, go to hell.
Zetsu: (White Half): Watch your manners!
Zetsu: (Black Half): You can join Tobi, IN HELL!
Zetsu: (White Half): You're lucky I'm not a racist....
Tobi: Hey! Look, Mr. Zetsu! It's a rabbit! I'm going to kill it!
Zetsu: (White Half): Wait! Tobi! Don't!
Zetsu: (Black Half): I thought he was a good boy....
Tobi: DIE, RABBIT, DIE!
Zetsu: (White Half): Is he possessed or something?
Zetsu: (Balck Half): I was possessed once.....Yeah-up.....True Story.
*Tobi runs over the Rabbit, but the blade on the lawn mower malfunctions*
Tobi: AHH!!! This thing....IT'S ALIVE!!! Run, Mr Zetsu! It's going to eat us!
Zetsu: (Black Half): Should we run?
Zetsu: (White Half): No, no. Everyone's asleep inside. This is more entertaining, although it is a bit....deadly.
Tobi: Move it Mr.Zetsu! It's coming!
*Tobi grabs Zetsu's hand and they run towards the door. Tobi pushes Zetsu inside first. Zetsu locks the door*
Zetsu: (White Half): Why did you shut the door?
Zetsu: (Black Half): God...He told me to do it.
Zetsu: (White Half): I don't see Chuck Norris anywhere....
Zetsu: (Black Half): He's in our souls man, in our souls....
Tobi, knocking on the door: Guys! Let me in!!! It's going to KILL ME!
Zetsu: (White Half): Hey, want to go watch the wedding about those European people? Everyone's talking about it! It has no impact on the world, but I'd love to see a wedding! I mean, I've been to dozens, but apparently this one is different.
Zetsu: (Black Half): I'd rather listen to Rebecca Black....
Zetsu: (White Half): Oh, today's Friday!
~It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend-~
Zetsu: (Black Half): SHUT THE F*** UP! Too much negative energy man....Let's go watch the wedding....
*Zetsu leaves. Tobi runs in the direction to the gate*
Tobi: I'm...going to make it!!!
*Tobi trips and looks in horror as the lawn mower heads directly towards his face*
Tobi: AHHH!!!
*Sasori and Deidara walk outside*
Sasori: Yeah, that Sakura Haruno beat me up! Some kid made her! Stupid little brat...
Deidara: Well, my man, you just suck with the ladies. Unlike me. See, Ino and I are cool. We're getting pretty series.
Sasori: Says the guy who's jaw dropped when Konan walked in...
Deidara: Hey! I did not look at K-
*Deidara sees Tobi on the ground...and instantly stops in his tracks*
Sasori: Well, I really don't care. That Hinata girl and I hit it off. She looked amazing as
*Sasori sees Tobi*
Sasori: Ka...tar....a.
At the Akatsuki meeting....
Pein: So, what happened, exactly?
Sasori: Tobi was completely owned by a lawn mower!
Deidara: Yeah, it wasn't pretty, hm.
Konan, who's sitting on Pein's lap: Who was the moron to let Tobi use the lawn mower.
*Konan laughs*
Kisame: Hey Itachi, didn't you-
Itachi: Quiet Kisame. Do you remember what happened to you last time you said something you shouldn't have?
Kisame: Yeah.....I miss my family....
Zetsu: (White Half): What did you do to his family?
Hidan: Did you kill them? Any one who who crosses the line of doing it with a fish deserves to die! So, tell me, did you kill them?
Itachi: Yes.
Kakuzu: Not groovy.
Hidan: What is wrong with you? Seriously!? Groove this! Groovy that! Say it one more time and I'll take this scythe and shove it straight up your a**!
Kakuzu:.....So, about Tobi....
Konan: Tobi will be out of comission for awhile. His face needs reconstruction.
Kisame: But, doesn't he wear a mask?
Itachi: Did you figure that out all on your own, Kisame?
Konan: He'll be out for a couple of days and will return on the...24th.
Pein: Twenty Forth.....Twenty Forth...That day rings a bell.
Kisame: Isn't that Tobi's birthday?
Itachi: Really Kisame....you just had to mention it....
Hidan: That idiot has a birthday? Damn. I'd hate to be his parents.
Kakuzu: Why not get Itachi to kill them? He apparently does that alot.
Itachi: You're just jealous your parents are still alive.
Kakuzu: I love my mother! Don't you dare harm her!
Hidan: The hell, Kakuzu?
Deidara: What was that about, hm?
Itachi: No comment.
Konan: Well, anyways, since Itachi let Tobi have the lawn mower, it's up to him to throw him a birthday party.
Kisame: And a welcome back party! Mix them together!
Itachi: Do you ever be quiet?
Konan: Kisame, you will be helping Itachi.
Itachi: Oh, the fun...
Konan: The rest of you can do about as you please. Meeting adjourned.
Pein: Why do you get to say meeting adjourned? Maybe I want to say it once in awhile...
Konan: If you want to say it, then say it.
Pein: Listen woman, I am the man in this relationship-
Itachi: I beg to differ....
Hidan: NICE! A burn to Konan and Pein! DOUBLE BURN!
Sasori: Hey! Itachi, you're my idol and all, but Konan is a beautiful woman!
Deidara: Yeah, for once, Sasori my man is correct.
Kakuzu: I agree.
Itachi: Pedophile....
Kisame: Ha! Ha! You're a pedophile, Kakuzu!
Kakuzu: Shut it, you uncooked salmon.
Konan, whispers to Pein: This...is awkward...
Pein, whispering back: Yeah...Let's leave....
*Pein puts his arm around Konan and they begin to walk away*
Pein: Sorry about earlier.
Konan: It's oka-
Pein: Meeting adjourned!
Konan: You just had to do that, didn't you?
Pein, who smiles: Yeah...Gibbs would be proud....
Later we join Itachi and Kisame in their room.
Itachi: Well, it seems like we are going to need to throw a party for Tobi...
Kisame: Yeah, but we have three days. No need to rush.
Itachi: Smartest thing you said in a long time.
Kisame: Well, I-
Itachi: Scratch that. That was the first smart thing you've ever said.
We go check up on Tobi in the hospital..He's in a room with a guy who's in a coma.
Tobi, wearing a patient gown: So, is this your first time here?
Coma guy:.........
Tobi: I was in a coma once! True story! Tobi got hit my a guy who was in a wheelchair! I think the coma was due to him punching me....alot...afterwards.
Coma guy:..........
Tobi: Wanna play UNO?! That's spanish for one! Dora taught me that!
Coma guy:....
Tobi:....You're making Tobi upset! TALK TO ME!!!! TALK TO TOBI!!!
Coma guy:......
*Tobi flips him off*
Tobi: That's Spanish for F*** YOU!
Coma guy:.....
Tobi: Oh my gawd!!!!!! I am so sorry!!!!! I didn't mean to hurt your feelings! Mr. Zetsu would not be proud.....I'm not a good boy....
Back at the Akatsuki hideout.....Three days has passed....
*Hidan and Kakuzu knock on Itachi's door*
Hidan: Hey! Wake up!
Kakuzu: Don't knock so hard. That door costs more than you know.
*Hidan knocks even harder*
Hidan: Itachi! Get up!
*Itachi opens the door*
Itachi: What do you....-Oh, it's you two.....Go away.
Kakuzu: I'll take it you forgot to get Tobi's birthday supplies.
Hidan: You f***in idiot! Konan's going to kick your Uchiha a** all over this house!
*Kisame walks up to the door in his powerpuffgirl pjs.*
Kisame: Morning guys.
Hidan: Kisame, what....the...HELL?!
Kakuzu:....Nice....
*Sasori walks by*
Sasori: Yeah, I'm going back to sleep.
*Deidara walks by Sasori*
Sasori: Deidara, I wouldn't go that way.
Deidara: Why not, hm?
Sasori: Kisame....Pajamas....Power puff girls....
Deidara: Yeah...I need my camera!
*Deidara goes to get camera*
Sasori: I'm going to sleep on the couch....
*Sasori leaves*
Itachi: Kisame, get dressed.
Hidan: Yes! Please go get dressed!
Kisame: ....Fine....
Itachi: I'll see you out at the car.
Back at the hospital....
Tobi: Nurse! Today I am going home!!!
Girl Nurse: Aren't we all happy today?
Tobi: I'm always happy! I'm a good boy!
Girl Nurse, who gets close to Tobi: Well...I'm a bad girl....
Tobi: I AM OUTTA HERE!!
Nurse: Is it because I am too...sexy?
Tobi: NO!! It's because....seriously! GET A MIRROR! YOU ARE NOT PRETTY! Loose some weight, shave the mustache, and...NEVERMIND! You are just hopeless! Bye!
*Tobi leaves and the Nurse walks up to the coma guy*
Nurse: Atleast you won't leave.
Coma guy: AHH!!!!!! GET THIS THING AWAY FROM ME!!!!
Back at the hideout...
Konan: Lately, you've been different Pein. You've been more...mature and less like the rest of our...friends....
Pein: Well, I have something special that they don't.
Konan:....What is it?
Pein: You.
*They Kiss, while Sasori and Deidara walk in*
Sasori: Get a room....
Deidara: You lucky guy!
Pein: Don't you have a girlfriend, Deidara?
Deidara: Yeah, but she's no Konan!
Sasori: He has a point. Ino's like a pig.
Deidara: Hey, are you talking about MY girlfriend?! Atleast some pink haired monster isn't trying to kill me!
Sasori: That's all your fault! You're a jerk, you know that?
Deidara: You're just jealous I have a beautiful girlfriend and you don't! Well, you had that Hinata girl, but she obviously liked me. Don't worry though...she's not good enough to date me. Hmph!
Sasori: Why you....
*They fight*
Sasori, while punching Deidara: SHE'S TOO GOOD ENOUGH TO DATE YOU! YOU HAVE MOUTHS ON YOUR HANDS! THAT'S HOW DESPERATE YOU ARE!
*Konan and Pein leave the room*
Konan: I hope they kill each other....
Pein: But they love you. Everyone needs their fans.
Konan: I'm your biggest fan.
*They kiss*
At Walmart.....
Itachi: This place is a redneck's New York.....But to me, it's boring. Just go find the supplies. I'll get the cake. You go get...whatever else....
Kisame: The gifts, wallpaper, hats, and drinks?
Itachi: Sure, why not....
On Itachi's cake journey....
Itachi: I need a cake.
Clerk: What kind?
Itachi: Well, Tobi acted black once....Chocolate.
Clerk: What kind of icing?
Itachi: The old school kind. The cool whip is horrible. Part of the reason my mother is dead. Always getting cool whip...I hate cool whip.
Clerk: What do you want on the icing?
Itachi: Tobi always talks about some foreigner.....Some little kid...who has no idea what she's doing....
Clerk: Sarah Palin?
Itachi: That's it.
Clerk: How many candles?
Itachi: I don't know....like two.....He's an idiot...You got to understand....
Clerk: Okay, here's your cake.
Itachi: Thanks....Wait you look familar...Kabuto....Is that you?
Kabuto: Yeah....
Itachi: This is what happens when you are friends with a child rapist. You've been warned, people around me (and readers). Here's your money, Kabuto.
Kabuto: Thanks...Itachi...
Itachi: Later, you misfit.
*Itachi walks by the aquarium and sees Kisame in the fishtank8
Itachi: C'mon Kisame...You can mingle some other time.....
Back at the hideout which is decorated for Tobi's party.....
Kakuzu: How much was this?
Itachi: Doesn't matter. Any amount of money is wasted when it's for Tobi.
Hidan: Deidara, what the hell happened to you?
Deidara, who has a broken arm and has bruises: .....Don't want to talk about it....
Sasori, who's not hurt at all: I did that! I am the man. I beat up Deidara! High five!
Hidan: You beat up the girliest boy in Akatsuki up! Jashin is ashamed....
Sasori: No! Jashin be praised! Now he knows not to talk badly about Hinata!
Itachi: Who? I thought you quit naming imaginary women....
Sasori: She's real!
Pein: Tobi's coming.
Konan: The joy...
Kisame: Everyone hide!
Itachi: No.
*Tobi walks in*
Kisame: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Itachi: You're welcome.
*Itachi leaves*
Kisame: Wait on me, itachi!
*Kisame follows Itachi*
Zetsu: (Black Half): That lawn mower whacked up your face. HA!
Zetsu: (White Half): He's wearing a mask....
Zetsu: (Black Half): I know....Man, I am so messed up.....
Pein: Happy birthday Tobi.
Konan: Yeah, happy birthday.
Sasori: Tobi, we hate you, but happy birthday.
Deidara:......H...a..ppy....Birthday...To.....bi....
Hidan: HA! You can't talk! Happy Birthday retard!
Kakuzu: Tobi, have a groovy birthday. You deserve it.
Tobi: THANKS EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Tobi looks at his cake*
Tobi: Why is Sarah Palin on my cake.........?
We end with Hidan laughing, Deidara crying, Sasori giving a toast to Kakuzu, Zetsu passing out, Pein putting his arm around Konan while they watch Tobi devour his cake.
The End.
